Survival-ism In The Post Truth Era

I watched a movie on HBO a few nights ago and have since then been deeply immersed in the theme of the movie. I have HBO to Go on my tablet for free so I can go to bed and watch pretty well anything I like. My partner only watches violent movies and so we rarely sit together in the evening to watch anything. Also, I’m not a movie watcher. It’s very difficult for me to just sit there and do nothing but “record” the movie.

The movie Survivalist got me thinking about a lot of things. Most post apocalyptic movies such as “Alone”and others end up the same way. There is nothing left, everything is destroyed, the survivors kill each other to survive.

In this movie, the survivalist found himself deep in the forest where he made a shack to live in and used the surrounding area close to his shack to grow food. He had a few traps to catch wild game but basically, he was able to sustain himself. At night, when the sun went down, he would go into his shack, close down the windows with wood and then lit a lamp and fire so that it could not be seen from the outside. In the morning, before going outside he would wash, get dressed and then slowly open the boarded windows and with a rifle in his hand slowly open the door.

I thought about whether it was worth it or whether the stress of staying alive was even worth it when you didn’t know from one moment to the next if someone would invade your space and take away what little you have left, or kill you. This is where I started to think about this.

We have never, in our recorded known history  had a situation where an apocalypse caused humanity to struggle and survive. What we see in movies is based on theory or suppositions that we as humanity will get violent and kill each other for food. Why is this being programmed into us? Who benefits from this theme? Are we to assume that should shit hit the fan and we are forced to survive that we will kill each other for food or other things we need? I don’t know that I can accept that because I live in a totally opposite minded culture. My people have survived several wars, lived without food or lack of for years yet stealing food or stealing anything would be considered immoral and shameful. I can say with certainty that should we be faced with that same situation, that my people would not consider stealing, let alone killing another human to take food from them.

Without going into US history about the depression, I don’t recall hearing or reading anything about armed gangs or thugs going around killing farmers or families in order to take their food. I haven’t read anything about countries that have been struggling with famine, poverty and poor agricultural conditions to go around kill people to steal their food. I don’t know of any country where killing people for food prevails today, so how did we get to that state of mind that we just assume we will  kill each other should we be faced with a post apocalyptic event?

Is this part of the programming so that if and when an event like that would happen, we would basically do their job and kill each other off? Where did this idea or concept come from?

Although I understand that we are not the same we were 100 years ago. Not only has technology improved, the way we grow food has changed and what is most important is that most of the population that has internet or a TV in the house had become de-sensitized to death. I have sat with friends in front of the TV and watched them as they watch a very violent movie and don’t flinch on the sight of blood squirting and shooting all over the walls. I turn my head or get up because I can’t watch it knowing it’s just a movie, but what difference does it make? Studies show that children who play violent video games are more violent in real life and are less compassionate, less caring, less sensitive to bad things happening around them.

I put myself in the place of that man in the movie and asked myself how I would survive in his place? I honestly can’t say, but I do know that I would never kill anyone for food. I would kill to defend and protect myself, but I would never consciously go out looking for food and be prepared to kill for it.

I don’t know where the Experts on Survival methods and equipment get the idea that we need weapons because we will have to protect ourselves or protect our food. Where or how did they come to this conclusion that this civilization is so fucked up that we will kill for food? I don’t doubt that Americans will do that. We see this all time during protest and riots where looters ransack stores and steal material goods. They are not even hungry, they are simply stealing valuable merchandise. If they have the tendency to do this, then they will have the tendency to get violent if they need to get food.

Even fiction books that write about the end of the world or EMP’s write about the population dying within days. Those people that depend on medical equipment powered by electricity would die within hours or days. Those that need potent drugs and medications such as Insulin would die within a few days or weeks. Food would disappear from the shelves within hours and once the supplies have dwindled, they would start walking/moving around looking for food. These fiction stories don’t write about killing each other for food, but they do mention protecting their land or farms and killing those that try to attack their families or access to food.

This is a very philosophical subject and different cultures will look at this in different ways. For now, I don’t see my people becoming killers to get access to food, but then I don’t have small children and as a mother I would probably do anything necessary to feed them. I can’t say that I would kill to get food, but I can say that I would do anything to protect my children and ensure they don’t die from starvation.

It’s just a sad, very sad state of humanity if we actually consider murder for food. One may say that we have to do whatever it takes to survive. I say, I’m going to leave this body sooner or later so why take another life? Why kill for a scrap of food because that scrap of food will only last a certain while and I will be without again. Is killing another human for food moral or even fair knowing we’re just occupying these bodies to have this experience>

I don’t have answers to our problems. I don’t know how we became what we are. I don’t know why we get violent when we are trying to protect and defend ourselves and our families. But I do know this: From the time we have been recording history, even ancient history shows that humans never lived in peace. Never. Perhaps that’s why we don’t know how to obtain peace now, because we don’t know what Peace means. It’s not imprinted in our DNA. We are genetically designed to kill for whatever reason and able to justify it. And we consider ourselves a civilized society? Maybe we’re not worthy of Peace or life itself because we have allowed this destruction of our humanity and no longer even feel true love for each other. Do we even know what love is? I don’t think so. Love doesn’t kill. Love doesn’t necessitate any type of violence. We have a long way to go before we can call ourselves worthy of Ascension or transition into a higher frequency. We have a long way to go before we gain the understanding of what Peace really means and how to achieve it.

We are like pit bulls that have been trained to fight other pit bulls as a sport. If you bring one of these pit bulls home with you, it will take years before this dog understands he no longer has to fight or kill to stay alive. We literally have to teach them love by loving them and in time they start to understand what love is. This is what humanity is right now. A pit bull in a ring, looking at this opponent and the only thing that is on his mind is survival. Whatever it takes to stay alive. But once he’s done and won the fight, he’s got wounds to heal, he’s alone in his pen or cage, he knows nothing else. He waits for his next fight, he doesn’t think about whether he will win or not. He just fights to the death because he knows nothing better and he has no choice.

We have a choice. We’ve always had a choice. In order to bring peace, we need to first have peace within ourselves. We need to stop competing with each other and start finding ways to end these wars. We have been at war from the start. I think we were bred and genetically altered to want to fight and kill. It has to be that way because I know that my Creator didn’t want me to be this way. I have never killed anyone, but I can’t promise I never would either. I can’t even promise that I would not kill for food. That means, it’s in my DNA if I’m even thinking about it.

I don’t think I’m going to watch Survivor type movies anymore because I don’t want to get any more ideas. I’m ashamed that I can’t promise to myself I would never kill.


We Won the Bullshit MSM

We did it. All of you and all of us that have been spreading the truth has finally paid off. The MSM is dead and Project Veritas has beat them. I wanted to start the day with writing about how much bullshit there is out there and how everything is being twisted to divert us from the truth but then my mom passed away last night so I spent the day saying my goodbyes to her. Although she had died 4:30 PST  in Vancouver; I was receiving messages from her a few hours later. She asked me to forgive her for all that she had done and I told that I had forgiven her a long time. “Isn’t it great on the other side mom?” My mother was in a retirement home for the last 5 years, she had dementia and it was only a matter of time. Of course it was difficult to hear the news but I’m ok with it now. Death doesn’t have the same meaning it did 20 years ago. I’m just glad that her suffering is over with and instead of focusing on the difficult life that she had, I’m imagining what she is doing now and what it must be like on the other side of the veil.

The video below is excellent and you need to watch it. The MSM is dead and in a few hours Veritas is going to disclose a huge leak to CNN so keep watching for that on YouTube. Don’t forget that you are the light, that regardless of how you are feeling right now and whatever you’re going through right now, you’re doing the right thing, you’re doing what you came here to do. We are very close to going home.

The Cost of War

The numbers are overwhelming when it comes to the costs of war. A documentary titled ” The Cost of War” shown  on Press TV really brought reality back to me. Although I know that wars are not intended for what they tell us for, they are solely for the benefit of profits.

Just a few figures: Out of roughly 160 countries, only 10 to 12 of them are not involved in any wars. The US has never won a war since the Second World War. Last year alone, the US has spent over 10 Trillion dollars on military expenditures. The War on Terror has cost the US between 1 and 5 Trillion dollars depending on who you ask.

The question Americans should be asking their new government is this: Is the US a safer place because of these wars?

Is the world a safer place because of these so called wars? When did we start calling an escalation in violence a war? An occupation of a foreign country is an occupation. It’s not a war. A war is when one country attacks another. The offense and defense process is called a “WAR”. Everything that is happening in the Middle East is now called a War; yet nobody wants to use the terms occupation, usurpation, outright murder, genocide and the killing of a civilization  using depleted Uranium. No, it’s a war and that way we can all justify why so much death is happening on our planet.

Nothing moves forward unless there is Peace. Peace in today’s reality means no shelling, no guns going off and no bombs dropping. This is not true Peace. Peace is defined as everyone getting along with each other. Peace is about not thinking about war. Peace is about letting go of our differences, about leaving each other alone, about not interfering with other countries. Peace is about waking up in the morning and feeling the planet is at peace.

The term Peace is just as illusive as truth. We have changed the terminology between war and occupation, war and invasion. When you invade a country, you become the aggressor. It is not a war. The war happens between civilians because the breakdown of society begins. A mole enters the population, invents a story or cause for fighting and then the entire country starts attacking each other. Some will say that this is called a ” Civil War”. A war is a war. A lie is a lie. What difference does it make is Hillary Clinton’s famous excuse. Does it matter how they died? We came, we killed, he died.

This is not a war. This is outright murder. War is murder. Murder is war against another human. Murder is murder. Does it matter how we murder? Killing by gun, killing by knife, killing with depleted uranium is all MURDER. War is war. Does it matter who started the war or why a war was started? War is war.

If we want to move forward, we have to ensure Peace. Nothing changes or moves forward without Peace. What good is prosperity when there is war? This means that someone is fighting, someone is killing, defending and profiting. This is not true Peace. If we want a better world we have to stop the killing. What difference is war from killing? What difference is killing from murder? What difference does it make how someone dies? It’s murder.

Often my partner and I have heated arguments about the war in Croatia. On both sides that is Croatia and Serbia there was murder. A soldier protecting his country and killing another human is murder. My partner excuses murder by defending your country. I don’t agree with that. We can’t excuse murder in different ways. If you kill another human being you have committed a murder. You can call it defense, self-defense, killing your enemy, but in the end, you have taken another life. Once I complete this last sentence, my partner always says: ” I don’t want to talk about this anymore”. We stop the discussion because after 12 years together, we have not been to compromise on this issue.

He will ask me: If they don’t defend their country, they will kill everyone. Yes, perhaps it would have happened, but even after the war ended when you count the number of dead on both sides, I don’t think the number would change. Nobody wins in a war and yet if someone attacks me, I would probably defend myself to the death. Would I? I think that I would not, but in that moment of trauma and fighting for your life, I don’t think we even think about that. I don’t think that I would stop in the middle of being killed and think: ” Hmmm, this is not a good idea to kill this person, so I will just stand here and let them kill me”. It’s a hot issue and one that can be debated on both sides by justifying it but the truth is, taking another life is interfering with the natural process of why we came here. We are a violent planet. I have read somewhere that we are considered the Guantanamo of the Universe. This is a death and killing planet. Is it possible that we created this reality to finally end the killing and to bring peace?

How do we bring peace when we don’t know what Peace looks like? All of our history points and shows that civilizations have been at war against each other. I don’t remember ever reading about a time or civilization where there lived a peaceful society. How do we define Peace when we’ve never experienced it? Who defines Peace? How do we get to become a peaceful civilization when we allow our governments, shadow governments and those 1% to produce and sell weapons? Are we contributing to their business? Do you have weapons in your home? One will argue it is necessary to protect your home. Sure if you live in America.

Croatians don’t own guns unless they need it for work or are hunters. Our murder rate is one of the lowest in the world. In fact, when a murder/killing happens, it’s on the news all day long, it’s a big deal when someone is killed for whatever reason.

We have gone too far now, it’s too late to turn back and turn our weapons in because the world has become very violent. It would be suicide in fact to live in the US and not have a gun for self defense. I’m not picking on the US; but it is true that the US has the highest prison population in the world. As for the highest murder rates, I don’t know because currently over 100 countries are warring with someone and for me, murder is murder. Murder is killing your enemy. What difference does it make?

The only difference we can make is to insist on Peace. Jobs, better health care, prosperity and all the good things  in life can’t last and don’t have any meaning if we don’t have Peace. We are at the point where someone may decide to attack a country, create the chaos and attack it. That simple. How do I know it won’t happen to Croatia? What good is my prosperity if I have to live in fear that my country will be attacked by a rogue state?

Are Americans any safer today than they were 50 years ago? I don’t think so, yet their government spends trillions on dollars on foreign wars. The same amount of money it spends is the same amount of profits the military complex makes. For every dollar the governments spends, arms manufacturers make 2 dollars in selling arms.

We want Peace? How? Where do we start? How do we justify killing another human or civilization for that matter by calling it a war? We are at war with ourselves. We are warring over religion, culture, immigration, color of skin and beliefs. We are at war with each other. We need to stop this war against each other. We need to come together. We need to all agree that we want Peace. We need a plan on how to have Peace. Without Peace we are all just plain and simple murderers and supporters of murder. So long as we sit back in our comfortable chairs and blame our governments for wars, we are co-conspirators like it or not. So long as we don’t stand for Peace, we are at war with each other.

Wake up people, it’s time to stop blaming the world for our problems. We have done nothing about Peace except complain that it doesn’t exist.

Michael Tellinger and Flat Earth

Michael doesn’t start talking about the Flat earth theory until the last hour of the video. I didn’t have time to listen to it entirely so I skipped a lot. I was more interested in hearing this flat earth theory. I did. Last year I posted some information about John Lamb Lash and his answer to the flat earth. I remember writing that I wasn’t sure or convinced of either though believe that anything is possible.

I can’t say that Michael has convinced me but let’s assume it’s true. What changes? Why lie to us? Who gains by lying to us? If this is true, then how do I explain leaving my home in any direction ie. going North all around the planet will bring me back home. Going South all around will bring me back home. If the earth is flat, then how is this possible? Can someone explain that to me? I can ride, fly and sail in one direction and return home, in other words, if I head out South, I will return home from the North. This is the part that doesn’t make sense to me if the earth is flat. Should I not hit a wall or fall over the edge? Anyone got an explanation that I can understand?

The Post Truth Era

According to Murad Gazdiev at RT news, we have entered the Post Truth Era. I don’t know if he coined that phrase but it sure sounds Post Apocalyptic doesn’t it?
The German version of the CIA completed a report several weeks ago that was leaked out to the media stating that Putin/Russia didn’t have anything to do with hacking into Germany’s government systems and that no smoking gun was found to prove it. This was leaked; which means that it wasn’t intended for public consumption. Actually it was, but since there was no smoking gun found, Ms. Merkel felt she could continue with her election and should she lose could then blame Putin for it.

Today, a conference held in Munich Germany made sure to emphasize how fake media is spreading, that Trump is a threat to European sovereignty and that we must be protected against false and fake news we access online.

I would agree with Murad Gazdiev that we have entered the Post Truth Era. Those of us that have spent most of our adult lives seeking truth have done well up to now. The information was out there, it was a matter of collecting the right pieces to fit the puzzle despite the trolls, the anti-truth agencies.

If you have not watched The Holographic Disclosure Series, I urge you to do so because they predicted this would happen and have been spot on about many things that have been happening the last two years; but one must wonder that if they knew about this; were they/are they part of the system and are leading us where they want us to go?

It’s become very difficult to trust any information anymore because so many groups out there are purposely diverting us from the truth and it now requires more time and scrutiny when researching anything. We simply can’t even use our discernment properly because we are being attacked at ALL levels of our existence through: spiritual, psychological, esoteric, multi-dimensional, medical and various frequency modulations through the technology that we use. Timelines are diverging and some even being subverted to change the outcome.

They still think and believe they will win this war against humanity but I know it’s not possible. I came here to win and beat the system that enslaved me and attempted to hijack my mind.

There is a channel on Youtube called ” Red Star Kachina 2017″ and it is one of the biggest propaganda machines I have come across so far on the topic of Nibiru. One only has to look at the date they subscribed (2014) and listen to the amateur astrologists, astronomers, bible thumpers and some well known researchers that without any evidence or proof scare the shit out of people.

The bible thumpers take the bible word for word and they will convince you that their god will send his wrath upon humanity and punish us because we didn’t take Christ as our savior and Nibiru is coming just like it says in the Bible. I listen for a few minutes only to hear WHO is talking and leave the same argument in each comment section:” I don’t know about you but my Creator will never do anything to hurt me. That’s some scary shit god you got there”.

The Nibiru argument is always the same too: ” Although I can’t prove Nibiru doesn’t exist, you can’t prove it does. Even if it does exist, how do you know it will cause us harm? Just because some object came down on Earth many years ago and caused great harm, it doesn’t prove anything and god can change his mind can’t he? (Gil Broussard insists that we have to go to Jerusalem to be saved). Sure, let me get my plane ticket just in case.

I know that anything is possible, I know that we/humanity have to go through some kind of tribulation/terminal madness but I also know my Creator has nothing to do with that. Like a drunk or drug addict we have to fall into the gutter before we realize and admit to ourselves that we really fucked up.

How did we fuck up so badly? It’s not by doing anything wrong as we all came here to play this game out but we screwed up by allowing the Elite/controllers to get this far, by not doing enough to stop them. The more you drink, the harder it will be to sober up and I guess we’re not drunk enough yet. This is where we are screwing up and we will eventually get there but the longer we wait, the more difficult it will be to stop this madness.

If they cut off our ability to access the truth, we are really fucked. If they succeed in censoring the internet or determining what is fake and what is not, those that haven’t woken up yet never will. Maybe we planned all this too but I’m worried that we’re on the brink of losing this war and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to come back here again, it’s too hard. We are Warriors and Warriors don’t give up, but Warriors sometimes attack too late or too slow and have to pull back and regroup. I don’t know if I want to do this again and I’m concerned that my fellow humans will not wake up in time and give them the final blow to this Matrix we’re trapped in. I know this was never part of the plan and that we got trapped here.

Truth will become illusive and as each day passes we will start losing the ability to discern truth from lies because many, many well meaning folks like David Wilcock, Ben Fulford, Alfred Webre, Peter Kling, Gil Broussard, Marshall Masters, L.A. Marzulli, Steve Quayle and many more have sold out. They may have started out with good intentions but they capitulated and are now dishing out the koolaid. These folks actually believe the bible to be factual and truth.

Look, it’s not even about the veracity of the information they put out. It’s about this: What have they ” done” or ” achieved” to make this world a better one? Did and does their work bring peace to this planet? What value do these folks have while selling their books, DVD’s and Lectures on Safe Zones if nothing has changed in our lives? What makes them so valuable or credible if all they do is talk about how smart they are?

If the truth does become illusive and we find it more difficult to choose what we want to know without censorship; how will these folks help humanity?

Do you know what the Controller’s  most powerful weapon is and has been? Separation.

They managed very skillfully to fragment humanity by building borders, creating countries, regions and zones. Each country developed it’s own unique culture, language, religion and values. Teaching us that individuality and uniqueness is a virtue that we should all strive for. We bought this and fell for it. In this separation, they created competition. Who will be better?

Look at us now. Look at the Americans after Trumps election victory. The country is more divided than ever. Not only is it divided but I can feel the hatred among each other. Individuality and uniqueness is now being attacked. People are afraid to speak their truth for fear of being laughed at, ridiculed, insulted and judged. People are so afraid of being unique and different now because it’s no longer politically correct to be so.

We are more divided than ever, it’s the only thing they can use against us to keep us from uniting. It’s not even about having different views and values. Your different views or opinions will separate you from what the majority is thinking, you will be insulted and hated, cars vandalized, shops looted, anarchy prevailing because people can’t accept some things and are going mad based on lies given to them.

It’s alright to have different beliefs and values, we should embrace the diversity among us, but how do we even begin to unite under such circumstances?

Muslims, Protestants and Catholics lived side by side in the old Yugoslavia for many years until the Elite sowed the seed of division and a war started. Today, Protestants, Muslims and Catholics don’t live side by side. They now live in different parts of the city in their own enclaves and each now insists their god is the true god.

The Middle East lived in harmony for centuries for the most part despite the diversity of different religions and sects. It wasn’t until 911 that everything changed because the Elite know that ‘separation’ and ‘ division’ is their last weapon of choice and if we unite, their game is over.

So you may ask: How do we unite? We unite when we’ve lost everything and have nothing left to lose. As long as we have something to hold on to, we won’t unite because we all hold on to different values and beliefs. Wars don’t unite because even after the war stops, people are still divided. One doesn’t give up Christianity and become a Muslim for Peace. Peace today merely means no gunfire or bombs dropping.

We will unite in a disaster or we all go down together in submission to them. We die and come back and try again I suppose. In floods, fires and other natural disasters; people unite. Interesting, that we don’t ask someone we are saving from a flooding river what religion they are before we take their hand. We were united by that flood.

Just some things to think about as we move into this Post Truth Era. Don’t be surprised if Truth becomes a crime but hey, I have to ask you: What are you doing to make a difference?  Can you just respect  and honor my views without judging me for them? If you judge me, you’re judging yourself and contributing to the separation.

I want to thank Murad Gazdiev for his ” Post Truth Era” report. It really gave me a lot to think about.


Much love,


Are You Ready?

The best way to prepare for disaster is to start as soon as you wake up in the morning. When I refer to disaster, I am referring to many possibilities. Power outages, CME’s, EMP’s, volcanic eruptions that cause nuclear winters, earthquakes and some man made ones.

This is how I started my list of things that I would need to have or do should we lose access to everything.

My situation is much different than those that live in the city. The islanders depend on underwater pipelines from the mainland for water and electricity so if a disaster strikes, we don’t have a backup system and are in essence cut off from civilization. Also, because it is a very small island, we have septic tanks and have to maintain them. The island only has one doctor on duty so if they are unable to arrive or can’t leave, we’re in trouble. No power, no fuel, no ferry sailings, no food delivery. Pretty simple.

So, each to his own, but I chose a Sunday to wake up with a writing pad on the nightstand and started to proceed. My partner was away for the day so it was just me, the cats and our dog Max. I checked on my cellphone for messages and turned it off. I then went downstairs and turned off the switch on the control panel so that I didn’t cheat with electricity.

I can’t start the day without coffee, I think that I could starve to death easier than go without my cup of coffee so that was the first thing on my mind, but I first had to go to the bathroom and do my thing. Oh oh, no water, need a bucket of water to flush the toilet. I made a mental note on that one because it’s not something I have to purchase, only an extra function or job to do for using the toilet.  My first stop normally would be the kettle to start the water for coffee but this morning, I took out the pot, poured water from the tap mentally noting that normally I would not be able to do that but would have to find the jug and pour from there. I make coffee with a French Press and our stove is propane powered so nothing changes much there. As I was waiting for the water to boil, I made a note of getting extra extra propane tanks. One tank will last me at least 2 months up to 3 months depending on the season. Summers last longer because we grill more but in order to have a supply for a year, I need at least 4 tanks and have to think about where to store them. I don’t feel they are safe in the house yet they have to be out of the heat as well. Will think about that one later.

After making my coffee, I felt grateful that we can use our fridge and freezer if need be because we have a few solar panels just enough to power them. Although they are not reliable in a disaster because without sun, there is no solar energy.

Since I don’t buy magazines or newspapers because we have the internet, I pulled out a book and sat down with my coffee. It felt unusual to do this because I’m used to going over to my desk and checking mail, reading some news headlines and then start the day.

We take everything for granted but the fact is I could not take a crap this morning unless I had a bucket of water to flush it down. No power means no water delivery to my pipes so not only do you need the water, but you need to ration it because you don’t know how long the survival mode will last or how long it will take for the power grid to come back up. I can wait for the rain but how do I know we would get it when we need it? Drinking water is crucial, but for washing and flushing the toilet it doesn’t matter. I even thought about making a portable seat directly over the septic tank opening but that can be dangerous, someone might fall into it at night or probably myself~!

I found myself restless while drinking my coffee because I was already feeling out of sync. How are my kids in Canada? Did I get any emails? Is my girlfriend arriving today from Germany? I had no answers and couldn’t find out because I turned the power off and I can’t cheat. I wanted to FEEL what it was like to live all day without electricity. I started to think about lunch and it seemed pretty standard. The gas stove and our fridge function just fine or can exchange for washer or boiler to heat the water up. The only drawback on this one is that if we don’t get sunshine like in a volcanic eruption/nuclear winter scenario, then solar energy is useless.

So this is how I made the list, just going through the day as if there was no power which there wasn’t. The first thing I noticed is that it became very quiet. Even though we live outside the village and it’s never loud, I could feel the difference when all electrical appliances don’t work, I didn’t hear the buzzing of frequencies at all. It was deathly silent.

Washing clothes was a challenge because I had to heat some water on the stove, soak the clothes, then I forgot about them and by the time I came back to them, the water was cold. I washed them, poured the soapy water out into a bucket for the toilet flushing and the rinse water can be used for washing floors or even plants in the house. Basically, you keep a large bucket for these things, nothing gets poured out and wasted.

While cooking, I couldn’t use the fan so the kitchen got very steamy and I put a propane camping stove on my list so I can cook outside in the summer time. In the hot summer and without A/C, it’s probably better to cook outside.

The day is short in the winter, the sun sets at 5:45 so I had to think about wood for the stove. Also, I took out one lamp to place by my chair for reading and when I returned with the wood and turned on the lamp, I realized it wasn’t even bright enough to read under so I made a note to get a few high powered lamps for reading or playing cards. Candles are ok but you need to have a huge supply of them. I found these wind up solar lamps to be great but like I said, they are not very bright.

I now understand why my ancestors woke up at sunrise and went to sleep at sundown. For starters they were peasants and worked in the vineyards, the olive groves, their huge gardens, they had to gather wood and bring it home on donkeys and they didn’t have books to read because most of them were illiterate.

I have only outlined a few challenges but food and water is our primary concern. I have learned how to make Indian Rotti bread that doesn’t require yeast or an oven to bake in. It can be made in a few minutes and tastes just as good as normal bread. This year, I’m going to can my vegetables from the garden because I always have that fear that the freezer won’t work and everything will melt and rot. Canned foods last longer anyway.

I found that I spent most of the day working on water, food and cooking fuel. Although I don’t need wood for cooking, I still have to know where to get it because if I run out of propane then I have to revert to cooking on the wood stove. I don’t have a problem wearing dirty clothes or going to bed at sundown but natural resources are not guaranteed. No rain, no water. No hand saw and axe, no wood for heating. How do I get wood home when we have to travel 2 km to our land to cut the trees down? If cars don’t run or work, what other means can we use to bring the wood home? In the olden days my ancestors used donkeys to carry wood and water home.

I have a lot of items/supplies that I can trade with. In a disaster period I would become the local doctor anyway and since I have stocked up on Colloidal Silver that I produce myself, DMSO, Pottasium Iodide and other natural remedies that I made, I can trade them for wood delivery. I was forced to think about a lot of things just living one day without electricity. Since our garage door is electric and remote controlled, it took me an hour trying to figure out how to open it manually. I realized my bike would become a prized possession in times when cars no longer work and it’s a good thing that I purchased special tires that don’t puncture so easily.  My bike has 2 baskets so it will serve well in transporting things.

It’s a nice feeling to know that should a disaster strike we can survive somehow. How long I don’t know. We don’t know what will cause a disaster if it does happen. It can be natural or man made such as nuclear wars. It can be a CME or EMP or pole shift or Nibiru arriving, a list of possibilities that we need to prepare for. The only thing I can’t prepare for is a nuclear attack, in other words, building a nuclear bunker on the island is not really smart or safe as a pole shift or earthquake could crack it and flood it. In that scenario, well, we all go together and I have something to end my suffering quickly should that happen. I don’t think that anyone should suffer if they know there is no chance of living any longer. I’m not talking about suicide, I’m talking about being so radiated that your body is literally falling apart, in that scenario, I would end it.

I imagine that people living in cities, especially those in townhouses or apartments would have it really difficult. In nature I can at least collect water, grow food if possible, collect wood and medicinal plants. I have a greenhouse so with a volcanic ash fallout (we have 2 huge potential volcanoes in Italy our neighbor), the plastic might protect the soil and plants but without sun nothing would live very long either. The benefit of city dwelling is the close knit community that will help each other but here in the country and sparsely populated island, we are each to our own. Winter population here in 6 villages totals 1200 people.

From what I see on TV and read; Americans get violent in disasters. They loot stores, damage properties, set things on fire and even kill each other over small things let alone when hungry. That would never happen here in my part of the world. It’s just unthinkable. We have people so proud they will die of hunger before asking for help let alone steal anything. Theft laws are very lenient so that even if you got caught stealing a loaf of bread, the owner would just give it to you out of pity knowing you’re hungry. It’s a totally different culture here. After a few wars, people have learned to stick together and help each other out. Neighbors and friends take care of the sick and children first. Adults don’t eat until all the kids have been fed first. I think that should a disaster strike that store owners would just give out everything to people and people never think about stealing anything here.

Preparing for a disaster doesn’t have to be expensive or a huge financial burden. Each time you go shopping make a point to pick up an extra item that you need. Forget those companies that insist you need expensive nutritious freeze dried or flash dried foods. I don’t believe that crap. Look, you need energy, calories give energy. You need to feel a full belly so rice, flour and beans are basic ingredients to survive on. When you’re hungry, a slice of bread can be a treat. It’s not forever and your body can survive on that for a year or so. Or get a few items that are highly nutritious like dried fruits and jerky; use them as treats once a week but you don’t need to spend a lot of money on those ‘survival’ foods.

Have these companies tested their foods on humans for a year? In other words, did anyone just live off these survival foods for a year and then get blood tests to see how their bodies reacted to that? I don’t think so; so we really don’t know their claims are true nor do we know what long term effects these packaged foods have either.

I have large quantities of flour, sugar, yeast, varieties of dried beans and rice, cube spices that will make soup for 6 people or use as broths, lots of different pastas, olive oil and spaghetti is a decent meal so like I said, you don’t need to spend a lot and just start buying and collecting.

Here in Croatia, pate’s are very popular like ketchup is to Americans. You can get them in 1 oz or 2 oz or bigger containers. One small container can be enough for 2 people and a loaf of bread. Price is so cheap like 10 cents for the small packaging so I have boxes of those. What’s wrong with canned spaghetti sauce? Who needs that expensive survival spaghetti sauce with cooked noodles in it already?

No, it doesn’t have to be nutritious because it’s temporary. Although I can grow vegetables, no guarantees because like I said, it all depends on the disaster effects and if we don’t get rain, plants can’t grow.

Each has to put their own list together and go through the routine that I did because even though I had already prepared by just making lists of things I need to buy; it was totally different actually living the event. I learned that the lamps I bought were not powerful enough and that I need to get a few that are brighter for reading or playing cards. In long winter nights you’re not going to go to sleep at 5 p.m. but you need light to just sit there.

You will feel a lot more secure if you know you have food and water for some period. I know a lot of people that haven’t started because they think they have to spend a lot of money they don’t have because the Emergency Food/Survival Food Companies have sold this bullshit that you need them and that you need nutritious foods to survive. Of course it’s ideal if you can have nutrition everyday but we’r talking about survival and temporary conditions. The body can adjust. Most people today live on fast foods, take out, instant foods and microwaved foods anyway. That’s not nutritious either but they manage to live for years without problems.

Get a food dehydrator and dry your own foods if you can’t afford to buy them ready made. I don’t know if we will be able to catch fish and eat it here if the waters are toxic, so I have prepared as if I can’t leave the house and must live on the supplies I have on hand. If I can grow food or go fishing that’s a bonus and my reserves will last  longer too. I can survive on my supplies for about 6 months so if I can grow food and catch fish, that will double my survival time providing we have sunshine and rain of course. These are the unknowns that nobody knows and that’s why we have to plan as if we only have our stored foods.

I have started this trading process with my clients years ago. Many of my clients produce something so rather than paying me cash, I will tell them to bring me olive oil or whatever it is they have of equal value that way I have a lot of supplies they pay with that I can use for trading.

Some folks will make fun of me for using a pendulum and dowsing but one day it might be a gift from God when we are left without diagnostic technology or need to find water underground. We’re all good at something and have something to contribute to so if you’re in a good community, each has their part to contribute to. Living in Croatia on this island has taught me how to use nature to work for me simply by observing it, learning about all the plants and sea life available. Some folks laugh at me for growing organic food using permaculture methods because it takes a lot of work. They got lazy with fertilizers and one day  might not able to buy it anymore. Their soil will be too toxic and won’t be able to grow anything, whereas mine will be rich and good for growing. I make my own compost and each jug that I empty out, fill with water and store in the attic.

Sometimes we don’t get rain for months. In the old days people used wells before the water pipelines arrived. Each home has a well and there is also a community well that are just collecting bugs and dust but they can be revitalized if we need to use them again.  Behind my house are the remains of a stone circle where horses used to pull a stone wheel to grind wheat. These families passed their knowledge down so if we need to use them, they can show us how.

It’s a matter of survival, don’t worry about having nutritious foods, like I said, you can dry your own with the sun without fancy appliances and so these are subjects to look for when buying books. Even better, go to a second hand book store and buy those old books on canning and survival.

The most expensive investment I made was a Medicinal Plant Bible. It shows me how and what parts of the plant to use, when to harvest and how to prepare teas, tinctures, wound salves etc. It’s invaluable should I have to depend on nature 100% to survive.  We simply can’t remember everything so these are kinds of books you want to have on hand.

In the end, don’t listen to the so called experts in survival. They want to sell you something. It’s important that you have a plan. Plan A is remaining in your home and how to survive in it. Plan B is leaving your home and surviving on the move. Both require you to act them out so that you know what you will need for your circumstances. Each person/family is different with different needs. There is no ONE rule for survival. I watched many survival shows but none of them reflected my part of the world.

Experts will have you believe that you need to drink at least 2 L of water daily. Where the hell are you supposed to get that much water for year? That’s just 700L for drinking? It’s ideal of course but a person can survive on one glass of water so long as you don’t sweat too much. You can even drink your own urine, it’s highly nutritious and probably more nutritious then the expensive freeze dried foods. You can use it as a fertilizer, amazing isn’t it? So you save your piss and drink it or water your plants with it.

A good doctor in the house book is good to have as well. Many things you can use baking soda for. Did you know that?

Observe your surroundings or the place that you plan on going to. That’s the best way to adapt and learn to make that list that suits your survival plan. These survival companies scare people into buying their crap they don’t need; especially foods. Water is more important. You can go without food for a month, but can die in a week without water and you don’t need 2 L of water to survive either. Right now I have 500 L of drinking water and much more of non-drinkable water for washing and bathing. You don’t need to soak your body in a tub to wash. You just get a pan with a wash cloth and wipe yourself clean. Use that left over water to flush the toilet or water your plants. Nothing gets wasted. The test run turned out great and gave me more ideas to prepare for. It’s not that hard and it may save your life.

A Moment in Time

I’m very busy during sleep time and even in the snoozing stage I leave briefly now. Because I know we don’t dream, I know that I leave this body to explore because the Soul in a physical body would get bored with just one life. Maybe I don’t leave the body but become more aware of everything else that I am. My experiences that I have are physical based though it doesn’t mean I’m not more. Am I not the thought, the fleeting moment as well? If I am all that is, I should not separate me from anything, not even this desk that I am typing on. It’s part of who I am and part of this reality I created to exist in.

This deep desire and yearning to know who and what I really am becomes  stronger each day because I feel that when I get that answer; when I finally figure out my existence or at least feel confident in what I believe to be true, then everything in this reality will make sense because right now, in this moment; I’m not able to make sense of the madness and why we created it. I have an idea but I need that deep awareness and ‘knowing’ that this is so.

I feel this sense of urgency and have felt this way for several weeks now. My intuitive self is sending me these feelings, this sense of “hurry up, you don’t have much time”. Time for what? I don’t have time to finish what I came to do so that I can move on? I don’t have time before the transition happens and I should be better prepared? Not enough time to get my things in order so that those I leave behind will understand why and how I chose to live this life and why I was a ‘strange’ person? What is this sense of urgency that I’m feeling?

I’m now in a higher state of consciousness even in nap time or those morning when I wake up and don’t want to get out of bed because the bedroom is cold and I’m so toasty and warm under my down quilt. I hit the snooze button and find myself leaving the body again and sometimes catch my self returning. I wake up in that shift from higher awareness to re-entering the body and thinking: “No, no, I don’t like that thought, I don’t like where this story is going, I don’t like these negative things I see”. Perhaps I caught myself in another reality and woke up before I was fully back into this body, I can’t say for sure, but every moment I am asleep I am now elsewhere, instantly or I’m in a higher state of awareness and no longer require to be in a deep sleep state.

Thing is, while in that other experience, I’m not feeling any negativity. Animals or snakes in other experiences don’t cause me fear. In this life a snake or bear would scare me and I would want to get away from them. A reality I remember was about walking over snakes, tons of them. I was slowly moving through them, not to avoid them but to ensure I didn’t hurt any of them. As I returned back into awakening I felt disturbed because in this reality I don’t like snakes. As I thought back to that reality, I realized that I was not afraid of snakes in that reality. That most experiences in those realities, or all of them were all positive yet here in this reality, they would scare the shit out of me. For now, I can only say that is the only reality that I remember that is scary and negative. I have experienced tsunamis passing by my house, I have experiences moving with this house as an earthquake rumbles underneath me and it’s moving the house forward. I am standing at the window and looking out like I’m on some kind of adventure, without fear or trepidation. If this was happening now in this reality, I would freak out.

My point is that the moment I close my eyes and relax, thoughts and visions that are not part of this reality start passing through my mind. At times I can’t be sure if something or some entity is placing them or if I’m just crossing dimensions and everything is now starting to get mixed up. Maybe my thoughts now create quicker, or the mixing of all my realities are not coming together because of the transition nearing? I can’t be sure yet.

My journey started in the 90’s. Like most of us when just starting out; we seek humanity and it’s existences in terms of history and archaeology as if we are only descendants of humans. I questioned my god, all gods, all religions and for over 25 years believed the answers were out there somewhere, separate from me. The journey brought me back to me. The realization that all the answers were in me empowered me but I now had to figure out how to do that.

I asked for help at one point. I remember long ago being told I had 3 guides. “Hey, anyone out there watching over me and wanting to help, please help me out, help me find my way home”. Intuitively I knew this journey would lead me home, wherever that was, it was my goal in this lifetime to find that way home. I have never felt that I belonged here.

Michael came into my thoughts. I call him Michael but he doesn’t confirm that. He says his name is irrelevant and that each personality has a frequency. Only humans have names. At first I wasn’t sure if he was just a figment of my imagination, I didn’t fully accept the answers because they were answered before I would even complete the thoughts, but over time I realized that Michael was my higher self, the Soul fragment I belong to on the other side of the Veil.

I have written about this a lot in the past. An old Soul can fragment itself into multiple experiences, but one part of it always remains with Source or on the other side of the Veil; whichever way you want to think of it as. It’s that way because after our separation, we don’t know if we will remember or we may forget so there needs to be that connection just in case. It’s done this way to keep us safe should we forget like here on Earth how to get back home. This fragment of me is who I call Michael. I named it because in 1993 a very famous Psychic told me I had 3 guides. An Indian Medicine Man (I was to become a healer-I am); a literary agent ( I was to write a book-I did); and Archangel Michael (Guide to old souls). Michael doesn’t contact me, I connect with him in my thoughts and before I even have a chance to complete my thoughts, they are answered. I now understand a bit more how this works because I also use a pendulum and it will start swinging even before I have completed the question.

Once I understood this, all the little things in this reality no longer took on any importance. You know, the politics, wars, genocides, hunger, divisions in cultures, religions, languages and country borders. This madness was all our creation to experience in this reality. It’s all a game. Look around you. Can you find one or do you know even ONE person on this planet that can tell you they have fulfilled their goals and are happy with their lives? No. This is the dreamer reality. We’ve come here to dream into creation about the impossible, to experience the unthinkable in human terms.

We got so caught up in the humanity play that we forgot who we are and why we are here. Religious people or the bible thumpers of the world will tell you that their God wanted it that way and that it’s part of human suffering, it’s how they justify the bullshit of this reality but I now know Creator has nothing to do with this. We’re given free choice to do anything we want to do, not just here in this reality, but in other ones. This is a duality reality, it’s only one small experience in all the many other ones. We came here to feel the pain, suffering, duality between good and evil. It’s hard to imagine that we ARE multidimensional beings and as humans simply can’t understand WHY we would want to experience this suffering.

Everyone on this planet is an old Soul. Only an old Soul can exist in this horrific reality that we all created. We came here to put an end to this construct we were placed in. As I wrote before, somewhere along the way we got trapped in this evil system. We’ve incarnated hundreds if not thousands of times to raise the frequency of this planet and help Gaia get us out of here.

I no longer get angry and frustrated at the madness around me because the madder we get, the closer we are to going home. I wrote many times that it will get much worse before it can get better. You don’t go the doctor when you’re temperature is 37C, but if it lasts a few days and gets higher, you will go to the doctor. Well, humanity is the same way. It will try and hold on to the old and hope for better times, but once it becomes hungry for a few days, it will no longer sit around waiting, it will ACT.

Those that give out “future” events such as the anti-Christ arriving, biblical prophesies, the arrival of Nibiru or Planet X, a Pole shift, massive earthquakes etc., are not aware of who they are. They don’t understand or don’t want to believe that past, present and future all exist in the same paradigm and that whatever happens to humanity is of our doing and creation. If enough people believe that Planet X will cause havoc on this planet, then it will!

Marshall Masters, Steve Quayle and pals are pounding humanity with this scenario yet at the same time, tell you like Gil Broussard does (bible thumper) they don’t know when it will arrive. Well, if you don’t know when it will arrive then you don’t know where it’s positioned in the solar system or you can’t prove that it does exist. If it does exist, it doesn’t mean it’s going to cause havoc just because you read that in the bible!

Point is that these folks that are trying to predict our future are bible thumping idiots who believe our Creator will punish us for being bad.

You dear reader know that  the bible or at least most parts of it were not written or translated to benefit humanity but rather hijack and enslave our minds into believing we are pitiful humans that can’t think for ourselves and need GOD to guide us and then punish us for being bad.

I am a light being, I know this but I still don’t know what it all entails and how many parts of me exist that I am not yet aware of. Are my thoughts and messages from higher self? For now I believe they are because they don’t cause me any harm. Although I don’t yet fully comprehend the entirety of who I am, I know I’m on the right path because Michael nods in agreement.

I also feel this urgency but have to yet to figure what that means. The last time this happened to me was in 2004 when I had and felt this urgency to move back to Croatia. I have prepared with food and water, bug out bags, extra pet foods, you know, if something catastrophic does happen we will have the best chances since most people here live day by day. I have made Colloidal Silver and stocked up on natural remedies, that’s the best we can do not knowing really what or if anything will happen here. It’s a comfort and security though knowing that should something happen, we can survive for some time.

The shift/transition will happen in a twinkle of an eye. Death happens the same way, you leave your body and enter into a weightless/devoid of time and space place where you rest for a while and then choose your next experience.

If you’re still attached to your wordly views and grievances about the world then you haven’t yet reached ‘enlightenment’. You don’t need to go off grid, it’s a matter of simply switching your mind set from human to the immortal and eternal Soul that you are. That my friends takes many years because here we deal with our minds being hijacked and manipulated on a daily basis. It’s a struggle to want to exist in both worlds at the same time.

We continue having the human experience, but once you figure out who you are and why you are here, the shift in consciousness happens and you detach from the material and toxic emotions that keep us enslaved into this human reality.

You are the light, we are the light. We came here to shine that light and reward ourselves with the great shift/transition into higher consciousness. The biggest reward for me was realizing who I was and how powerful I can be when I put my human mind to it. This terminal madness is the final phase to mass awakening. I know it may sound crazy to some, but I died and when to heaven (NDE) and returned home so it’s not an opinion, it’s a fact.

I look around me and laugh at the madness, we are so fucking creative, we can create even madness if it has purpose for our being here. So, while you are here, make the best of it.