Water or Smart Phones?

There are people on this planet who have to travel a long way to get to water or access to water. Some people in poor countries such as India and Africa have to travel hours to get to a well or river, sometimes twice a day spending up to 5 hours daily just walking and collecting water for the family. Some still use wood to cook on and many still have to find a place in nature to do their defecating and urinating.
Imagine waking up in the morning with a full bladder but you don’t have a toilet. If you’re lucky enough to have a water source close by you can do it in a bucket and take it out later but many people have to walk into woods or fields to do this everyday. Indian women have to wait until nightfall because of the culture and shame of being seen urinating.

Do you know that 88% of the Indian population don’t have a toilet in their house? The toilet isn’t the problem. The Indian government is giving them to those that can’t afford it. The problem is running water and sewage. Only rich people can afford composting toilets. 88% of Indians don’t have running water in their homes, the other 12% who are Middle and Upper class leisurely water their lawns and gardens. Water isn’t a problem in India, it’s the delivery system.

I have woken up some days to have no running water, because of a problem in the pipes or just maintenance. We do get notified that there will be a water shortage but since I don’t listen to the radio, I have no idea when it’s happening. It’s very uncomfortable without water for a few hours. Sure, I can find some bottled water and make my morning coffee but the rest has to wait including going to the bathroom unless I really can’t wait.

My parents lived without running water and electricity. This island got running water in 1963 and electricity in 1967. I lived here for a few years between 1963 and 1971 and remember helping my mother carry water from the community well. We made a turban like cap and then lifted the heavy pail on our heads and walked home about 200 m. I was only 12 years old and it sure didn’t help my scoliosis, but that was the way life was. On laundry days it would be going back and forth all day long. My mom would boil the sheets in a huge cauldron over the fire and then hand wash, rinse and hang out to dry. Just carrying the soggy sheets to hang on a clothes line was hard work. My mom would save the rinse water for later on when we used it to wash our hands and feet before bedtime. Some of it went into the planters and rest was taken down to the waterfront and dumped out.

When a child is born into poverty and hunger, it knows no better until or unless someone gave it a nice meal. From that moment on, that child knows the difference between hunger and feeling full, but until that moment, the child is like every other child, it plays, has a normal life just everyone else.

I complain when I wake up to no running water. Actually, I get lost because unless I have bottled water, I can’t make my morning coffee. I solved the power outages by buying a French Press. This way I can just boil water on the gas stove and make coffee.

The luxury of having running water is available to approx. 4 billion people, the other 3 billion or so have to fetch it, collect rain water or buy it. The reality that we live in is a duality in the cruelest sense. You either have water or don’t, you’re either hungry or full, thirsty or hydrated, healthy or sick. Instead of sending corn and rice to impoverished countries, we should be sending irrigation systems and sewer equipment, desalination units so the poor people of this planet can grow their own food. But oh, wait a minute, we do send them GMO seeds and cause every 5th farmer in India to kill themselves thanks to Monsanto.

Should we be proud of our humanity because we send rice and corn to poor nations? My point to all of this is that instead of worrying if you want to be a man or woman, instead of voting for or hating Trump, instead of blaming Putin for every mistake in your life, you should be grateful you’ve got running water.

Most Indians have cellphones. Most Croatians had cellphones long before they had land lines as it was too expensive in the 80’s to get connected. Because only recently fiber optics have been installed slowly in the system, we still run on an analog system and this makes it very expensive and inefficient to have a land line. The reality of carrying cellphones around and being surrounded by cell towers is now showing it’s ugly consequences. Young kids born with or in their first 5 years developing brain tumors and cancers. Their parents being 2nd generation smartphone users and are now seeing  their children born with many complications.

Nobody is asking why children are getting cancers, but the Oncology Wards in Pediatrics are full and kids are now on a waiting list to get in.

My neighbor’s eight year old grandson has just been diagnosed with a brain tumor and he’s on this waiting list yet they’re not asking why. I can tell them why and warned them on his 6th birthday when his well educated parents gifted him with his first smartphone. Since my kitchen faces to their driveway, I know the grand-kids come every weekend from the mainland. What do I see? I see a child walking/running around constantly staring into his smartphone. I have noticed his posture is bad due to the constant staring into the screen. Do they really know why he may die?

If you have children under the age of ten and have given them one of those cancer causing toys, I accuse you of child abuse. Please don’t give me this shit about peer pressure and what the neighbors might think or your child’s self esteem issues. What about their self esteem when they lose all their hair due to chemotherapy? If you feel that his/her self worth is more important than the risk of getting cancer, then you deserve everything you have coming to you.
The research is out. It’s not enough that they are destroying kids with vaccines; frequencies finish them off. Do you believe my kids who are now 35 and 37 years old never got vaccinated? That’s how long I have known about that.

The only difference between the US and Croatia is that our healthcare is cheap, it’s social medicine and it’s not always good but we don’t have to dish out millions of dollars to treat cancer but should we be comforted by that?

Problem with tumors and cancers caused by frequencies and radiation is that there is no hope at all. The damage is done at the DNA level and sometimes even at the first chemotherapy session the cancer will mutate. Take the damn phones away or you’re not better than a child molester. If you’re really obsessed about what others might think, peer pressure or whatever, then take your kids out of school. They don’t learn anything of value anyways. Do your kids know what to do in case there is no running water or electricity? I doubt it.

Water is life, it’s a luxury many can’t afford, but your child deserves better, by the time you figure it out, it could be too late.

I wanted to go to my neighbors house today and slap her around a bit because she allowed her grandson to use his phone while he was visiting. My neighbor is also a very educated woman and retired Nurse, she knew better. By not allowing him phone time, she may have saved his life or slowed down the cancer at the least. But I won’t go because her suffering and fear of losing her precious grandson is far worse than any slap I could give her. If only she heeded my warnings on his 6th birthday when his stupid educated parents did this to him and gifted him with an iPhone. So much for higher education and their intelligence. You see, educated folks worry about what other’s might think about them. And we call some of them Smartphones?

I’m thirsty, off to grab some water.

Got Your Seat-belts Fastened?

I won’t say ” I told you so” but I will. Once in a while I can take credit for being on the ball. I can now literally go back to all the opinions and thoughts I have had over the years about the gurus, the astrologers, the Ascension nutters, and see that I was correct about every one of them. You see, I don’t do much research on them, it takes me a few hours just to listen to them and I seemingly fit the pieces together. Bottom line is, I FEEL them and know whether they are forthcoming or not.

The truth is, nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. There is NO god that determines our destiny. We determine it through our mind and projecting our thoughts to create reality. For eons we have been creating the reality THEY want us to create. It should be obvious to you by now that we have created this reality. Whether we did it through ignorance or disbelief or whatever, we created it. The video below is just another person who thought the same about Marshall Masters. I have mentioned him many times in the Nibiru scam. Turns out I was right about him too, not because this person below said so, but because Nibiru has been arriving over 12 years now and there is still no sign of it. Why?

Not enough of us believed it so we didn’t create that reality.

I want to thank many of you for taking time to read this blog and to send me incredible messages. I really can’t tell you how I know things. Often I know them but the EGO and MIND argue with me because they don’t want me to KNOW. We do this all the time. You know, the first response you have about something? But you change your mind and do or say something else. Later you find out your first instinct was correct and you should have followed it?

Well, it takes many years to trust instinct/higher self. We are programmed and conditioned to think and feel a certain way, so when something comes along that doesn’t fit into that paradigm, the EGO will argue with us. You see, the EGO doesn’t want us to know the truth because once we figure it out, the EGO no longer has a job. Remember, when you came into your body, when you incarnated here, the brain/EGO was part of the bodysuit. You basically entered into an empty computer and wired it through thought, programming, tradition, culture,education and whatever else you used to fill your mind with information. The Mind/Ego is not who you are, it’s the machine computer you use to drive your body and your life here in this reality.

To accept truth, to feel truth, to find truth you have to disengage from the EGO and from the mind because they are/were not designed to make you evolve into a better human being. They were designed to keep you entrapped. This is why the brain/mind can’t predict or know ahead of time. It can’t do much other than record and save it and remember, analyze etc.

The reality that we are currently experiencing is designed to devolve us. All forces, all energies are now in full throttle working to keep us from accessing the truth. You see, once you access the truth, it’s game over for them. Ignore the madness right now because you will only drive yourself into sleepless nights, anti-depressants or too much weed. There’s not much we can do right now other than STOP recording their events and STOP reacting to their reality. The endgame is here and trust me, it’s not Nibiru, it’s not the Anti Christ, it’s not ascension and it’s not anything created by us in terms of how and where we are going to next. We came here to play the game, we came here to raise the frequencies, we came here to break the matrix open. Unfortunately, our game was interrupted and dark forces took over but it’s all temporary although it’s been millions of years of us incarnating here. What’s time when you’re endless?

Don’t fret over the events right now. It’s ugly. From a human perspective we’re still savages killing each other yet at the same time praying to God for help. The Terminal Madness that I often write about is here, it’s the endgame for them. They know this.

Don’t you notice the sun is blocked?  I have been out working in my garden, in the sunshine for 2 weeks now and I have not tanned. Whatever you do, don’t wear sunscreen. Because of certain rays being filtered out, the sunscreen will just burn into your skin and cause cancer. Sunscreen was never designed to keep you safe. Have you ever thought about it? We’re told we could get cancer from the sun and to wear sunscreen. So, we cream up with these horrific toxic chemicals that the sun burns into our bodies. We get cancer from the sunscreen you idiot. Have you ever thought about it? This is a perfect example of us creating their reality.

I will be writing more very shortly. Because of my back problems, I really needed to get outside and work in the garden. I don’t have any choices other than surgery so what I’m doing right now is actually even more painful, but I’m feeling better as painful as it is. I was born with Congenital Scoliosis and didn’t know it until I turned 50. Most of my adult life I avoided beaches because I could never lay on my back. I can now lay on my back in bed for 10 minutes without the pain thumping through  my entire body. Grounding has been great as well.

Don’t fret, don’t worry, we fucked it up really bad but remember this: We are powerful creators. What we do we can undo. What we haven’t done, we can do. What we think is impossible is possible. You just have to believe it. Don’t you believe your own power? Have you ever tried using it?

The video below is just something I came across accidentally today and thought it was interesting. Marshall Masters is just another con man like the ascension gurus, like the Nibiru bullshitters and like everyone else proclaiming they know what is going to happen in the future. There is no FUTURE. It doesn’t exist so how can they or anyone know? What is real is NOW, this moment. Slowly, they are all falling by the wayside as their predictions never amount to anything.

I’m here, just having fun outside in garden and oh, hey, I got some great new Cannabis Seedlings going for my next batch of Cannabis Oil. Will write a great post on them next and share some photos with you.

I love you all, you’re all doing the right thing. Remember, power doesn’t come from outside. It comes from within. You arrived with it here in this reality. Learn how to use it. You old soul.

I can’t feel what I want to feel?

While doing some research, I had Press TV in the background and I heard this woman say: “Trump is a racist and we wan’t him impeached”. How is Trump a racist? What has he done to be one? Does this mean we are now forced to like someone? Is racism now being shoved down our dead brains?

I don’t think you’re a racist if you don’t like Chinese people. While in Canada, I had an issue with East Indians. I had a big issue with them. Not all of them. Most of them. They come to the country and DO NOT adapt. The women walked around in their saris, the men were allowed to wear swords in their belts and I got pulled over by an RCMP officer that wore a turban. Does that make me a racist because I don’t like these people? I have nothing against them, I just don’t like or approve of what they do. I think that if you’re coming to a new country, you should be given a book of rules and culture handbook and told that if you want to live in the country there are certain rules and customs you have to abide by.

I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your home. But I am bothered by migrants and immigrants alike now demanding their culture and religion is allowed. We can’t mix, it’s impossible.

Imagine being at a dance. There is a mix of races. What music is the DJ going to play? Is he going to play Indian music? Is he going to  play Swahili music? Is he going to play techno? Every single different person in that room will want to play his music that he/she is familiar with. First we got separated because individuality and a world with different cultures was cool. Then the invasions came and disintegrated those individual cultures and beliefs into hatred for each other. Now our countries are invaded by different cultures and races and we’re supposed to all get along?
No, it’s not possible to integrate cultures that go back centuries. It’s not racist to not like someone a different culture or race. I have the choice to like what I do and don’t like.

Racism is now the Ace card being played against us. It’s used to pitch us against each other, to create chaos and civil wars. It’s used to help remove 2/3 of the useless feeders of this planet so why not get humans to kill themselves off?

There is no such thing as racism in the sense that liking or not liking someone determines whether you’re a racist or not. Racism is violence against someone  of a different skin color or culture. I reserve the right to like or not like someone. That doesn’t make me a racist, it makes me free to choose what I like and don’t like. I don’t have to like what others like. I don’t have to like Indians because I’m told I have to.. No I don’t. That doesn’t make me a racist, it simply makes me brave and courageous to speak up about how I feel.

I have no problem with humanity. I only have a problem with people that cause harm to others. It’s  the immigration policy that needs to be fixed. Like my parents that immigrated from Croatia to Canada in the late 50’s. My parents had to go to school to learn the language. They had to pass culture tests before getting their citizenship. My parents were not allowed to abuse me. They were warned once that maybe in the old Yugoslavia you can beat your kids, but in Canada it’s called Child Abuse. My parents acclimated and accepted the new world they lived in because they had to. They would not get their citizenship if they didn’t learn and pass the tests. My father failed his driving licence exam 12 times. His English wasn’t that great, but he didn’t have an interpreter in those days. You either learn the language or you’re fucked. You will be ostracized, rejected by your community because you can’t speak the language.

I love all of humanity but I reserve the right to NOT like someone. I don’t like them because of what they do, not because of their skin color.

They are pinning us against each other folks, can’t you see that? Racism is another mind control program to instill into you that you either abide by the regime or  you will be punished for having a choice. You can call me what you like, but I am proud of the fact that I can tell you to your face that I don’t like you. Not because of what your skin color is or your religion, I may not like you because of your behavior or the fact that you are causing discomfort and harm to others. In that case, we need to let people know why we don’t like them. If we don’t tell them, how will they know to correct their mistake?

I feel sorry for the Americans. This madness that has fallen upon them is horrific. To have to think before  you open up your mouth must be horrific. To be afraid that someone might consider you to be a fascist, racist, woman hater or man hater or gay hater or religion hater. You better wake up folks…you are heading for the abyss and I can guarantee that the rest of the world is not going to come and help you or pass you a rope. You were the beacon of democracy, now you have fallen into the abyss of madness and political correctness. I love all of you Americans except those that cause harm to others. .When you cause harm to others you cause harm to yourselves because we’re all ONE.. We need to help each other and teach each other to be better humans. It’s why we came here. I don’t like “homosexuality”, but that doesn’t make me a bad person. I simply don’t agree with what others think. It’s my right to choose how I feel. I don’t dislike homosexuals. I simply don’t agree with the concept or reality that someone born a male can go through that ritual of changing their sex. They don’t need body changes to feel differently. If that’s the body you were given or you chose, why prove to me you need to do this? You need to prove to yourself that you can accept yourself for what and who you are. There is a reason why you chose that body to incarnate into. I don’t dislike you for that, I dislike the idea and concept that it’s normal and natural. What does that make me now?

If you ask me, it makes me someone who can voice their opinion without fear of what others might think of them. Can you do that?

The Power of Nature


This is a view of my garden from the solarium before clearing out winter greens. This is where I spend time grieving, growing and creating. It is where I feel the ultimate power of creation when I can plant a seed and watch it break ground and come up for sunshine.

These strawberries live in forest mulch. If you look closely you will see pine needles. I drive a few km into a dense pine forest and collect the surface mulch. Normally these strawberries are half the size. The power of nature is clear. Observe nature and duplicate it in your garden. I learned this from the Back to Eden documentary. When asked how his crops grow so big and healthy, he said that he observed nature. Have you ever walked around in nature and found uncovered soil? Nope. To understand this photo you need to know that I live on an island similar to Hawaii. It’s volcanic rock. My ancestors had to remove layers of boulders, rocks and stones to find soil to plant crops in. Soil is a commodity here and I’m probably the only one on this island that produces it’s own soil/compost.

I asked myself a few weeks ago: “Why spend time typing about what I’m thinking and hoping that it might change the world?” I then realized that the world to change is mine and that by being an example I can only then gain credibility. Words are just words. What do philosophers do? They share their thoughts. That’s all philosophy is. We’re all philosophers but how many of us can grow their own food? You will see the composter in the background. It takes a lot of work to grow organic food. The soil is food for the insects and worms that produce humus, so everyday I have to collect leaves, sticks, food scraps to feed the composter to feed the soil to feed me organically. This is my fifth year and this year I’m learning how to save my own seeds. Last year I spent months ordering heirloom seeds so I can do this.

The fruit of my labor. This photo was taken 4 years ago when I first started raised bed gardening but this is my creation. To grow your own food is to feel the power of creation. You plant the seed and watch your lifeline come up for sunshine, how awesome is that? But this is just an analogy to who we are. We are creators of everything. Just as we plant the seed for the plant to grow, we must plant the seed of THOUGHT and Visualize that what we want to have or happen. It’s all within our power if you will just accept this reality.


You are the flower of life. You were created by a male and female energy. You came into this world through a process called love. If I care for and nurture these flowers, they will give me healthy and nutritious beans. Without food we die. If you can’t grow your own food you will surely die because everything, almost everything we purchase in markets and stores has been tainted by substances that cause cancer. You don’t need a big garden, in fact you don’t even need a garden. You can grow in containers.

In a 5 ft square space you can grow all your needs in a season. If you have balconies, 5 gal. containers will do. Plants are forgiving, just give them sunshine, water, nutrients and a lot of love, they will produce. If you feel that you’re losing control of your life, find a place where you can garden. Most suburbs or cities have community gardens where you can learn how to garden. You either love it or hate it, but in the end, you’re faced with a choice of eating healthy and being the creator of your own destiny or being the victim and relying on others to feed you.


I’m the one in white t-shirt. This was our olive harvest last year. We make 100% pure olive oil, not the extra virgin dead oil. Extra virgin means there is no oleic acid in the oil which is a key factor in healing.. Extra virgin oil means “dead” oil. Very few people know what the meaning is. The Oleic acid is removed because olive oil will go rancid after a period of time, so the key nutrient is removed to deliver dead oil to the market. According to Wikipedia: “Oleic acid is a fatty acid that occurs naturally in various animal and vegetable fats and oils. It is an odorless, colorless oil, although commercial samples may be yellowish.  The term “oleic” means related to, or derived from, olive oil which is predominantly composed of oleic acid.” So, remove the oleic acid and you have dead oil. Another deception that extra virgin olive oil is good for you.

Growing your own food means freedom. I’m not totally free yet, need to add some fruit trees but organic grown foods take time to learn. The seeds you have access to in your world may not grow in my world. Most of the time they lie on the seed packets because the reality is, they don’t want you to grow your own food. To create food is to be empowered.


My home in the countryside. This is where I live and create. This pile of rocks is all over the island. This is how the ancients built walls by clearing out looking for soil. I find seashells and different undersea animal fossils in my soil. It’s proof that my island was once a seabed and later became a volcanic island.


The Propaganda of Human Suffering

I have been dealing with some losses in my inner circle of family and it’s been a down time for me. My partner is again in hospital with different issues this time but he’s going to be fine.

Yes, there is much suffering going on in the world. We hear it every moment, every second either through TV, radio, internet and in our local community because people are dropping off like flies. As Buddha said: “We cause our own suffering by wanting things to remain the same, by living in the past, by fearing death”. This is christian dogma based on a narrative that Christ suffered therefore we should suffer.

I can be sad, I can mourn the loss of someone in my life, I can see the destruction around me but never once have I thought of this as suffering, merely, a human reaction to what happens in our lives.

Christians are taught or believe that suffering makes us somehow better people. That suffering is something we must feel. According to whom? I never found anything in the bible that we must suffer. If Jesus suffered, that doesn’t mean that humans must suffer. If Jesus died for humanity, then why we do need to suffer if he’s done this for us?

Suffering is not a part of the human condition but is rather the side effect of ignorance. It’s a choice we make. Suffering is not feeling sad, you just feel sad. It’s not about being ill, you’re just ill. Suffering is believing that you’re helpless and that something has been imposed upon you. Suffering is ignorance about who you are and why you’re here. It may be part of the human experience if you chose to experience it but we gain nothing by suffering.

I have suffered much in the past because as a child I had no control over my life. But I choose not to suffer. I can feel sad, I can feel anger, I can have physical pain but that’s not suffering.

Suffering is holding on to something that doesn’t exist. The past doesn’t exist. Fearing the future that doesn’t yet exist is suffering. Suffering is about feeling victimized. It’s about believing that your god determines your destiny. It’s about calling god  and him not answering you (if you believe in that). God doesn’t function that way. Suffering is self-imposed through false beliefs and ignorance.

A perfect example is the destruction of Mosul in Iraq. The media interviews the survivors of the civilian bombing and you will hear most of the survivors thanking god for saving their lives. If god is so great that he saved your life, why did he impose such destruction upon you in the first place? If they thank Allah for saving them for death, should they not be asking Allah why he allowed the bombs to drop in the first place? This is just an example of what I consider to be human suffering brought on by ignorance or religion.

The term suffering is getting a lot of coverage right now. They want you to believe that someone or something is causing the suffering of humanity. Humanity is suffering because it believes in a savior and is so disappointed  that their savior is not saving them from whatever they are suffering from. How convenient it is to encourage us to feel “suffering”so that we can give up what little hope we have for humanity.

Suffering is a destructive thought. Suffering is not an emotion. How are you? Oh, I’m suffering. What are you suffering from? I lost my entire family in the bombing. That’s not suffering. That’s mourning the loss of your loved ones. Suffering is a biblical dogma, it’s a terminology almost the opposite of hope because when people suffer, they don’t understand why they are suffering.
Suffering is giving up on life and blaming the universe or god or our government or the cabal for our misery. Suffering is a choice. Suffering doesn’t make us better humans. We gain nor learn anything by believing suffering is exists.

What is suffering? I could define it as a syndrome of different emotions. A chronic condition of ignorance where pain is converted as suffering or experiencing war is suffering. Suffering is a terminology that was created for us to believe we are powerless and that some thing or someone determines our fate.

The laws of nature don’t have suffering as part of a learning cycle. Suffering is a made up condition used to disempower humanity. Suffering is ignorance. Suffering is victimhood. You choose to suffer but you can’t define what it means. Suffering is a list of symptoms combined and by adding them all together, we simply give suffering more power.

Suffering is used against us. It’s imposed upon us just like former US president Obama sold his “change”. He sure made changes in the US but they weren’t good changes. He empowered the term suffering by creating more wars, destroying more countries and convincing those of us watching that suffering is part of the human condition. It is not. It is a choice. Get over it. Humanity get off your knees. We are much more powerful than that. We gain nothing by believing in suffering. Suffering is not an emotion. How do you define it? You can hate, you can love, you can be angry, you can be happy,  but you can’t be suffering because it’s not an emotion, it’s not something you feel, it’s a belief system imposed upon us.

Those that believe they are suffering are really believing in something that someone told them or they believe in an evil god that would allow such horrific things to happen to them.

I have been thinking about this subject for a few days now. Everyone I run into mentions it and accuses me of suffering because I lost a few family members recently. I’m not suffering. My mother was suffering in her condition of Alzheimers maybe but only because she wasn’t aware that she was still alive. Can we define that as suffering? I don’t suffer. I don’t feel that suffering is beneficial to me and I can’t define suffering as something I feel. Perhaps we can call it a syndrome of disbelief. The disbelief that we are feeble minded humans waiting for a savior to come along and save us from ourselves. Whatever you believe in is your choice, but I have yet to hear someone try and explain to me what happens to a human when they are suffering. Is being homeless suffering? What are they suffering about? How did they get into that state? And if suffering is so bad; why do we choose to experience it?

It’s all in your head. Just like hope, suffering provides no room for taking responsibility for the choices we make. Hope has no meaning just as much as suffering doesn’t. Hope is a false belief that something might change or we might get something. Nothing changes without us changing. Nothing comes without us making the effort to achieve it. Hope and suffering are simply two words used to control  humanity. I don’t hope. I desire, I imagine, visualize and work towards that what I want. Hoping for something is like sitting at an airport lounge waiting for your flight to be called. What guarantee is there your flight is on time or that you will even depart? Someone has to get the plane ready, a pilot and crew are needed and even all of those things in place, it can snow and prevent the plane from departing. That’s hope. You can hope all you want, but if you don’t know how to get there, it doesn’t help you in any way.

Suffering is just the ignorant state of a believer. They want us to believe that suffering is real. It’s a figment of our imagination because it’s not a heartfelt emotion, therefore, it’s a dilution for the ego to mess with us, nothing more.

So, now that I have ended this rant, I must let you know that I’m seriously considering leaving this blog to the Universe. It’s one less commitment and honestly, I have nothing left to rant about. I have accepted life for what it is, I create my own truths, I no longer need to convince anyone that they need to seek truth. Truth is, not all of us came here to change the world. Some of us came here to play the victims, without victims there is no need for change. Truth is, I might lose my partner and if that does happen, I need to carve out a new life for myself and I’m slowly removing myself from this virtual world. I was hoping that my readers would help and contribute with their own thoughts and ideas. I don’t have any left. I’m free. The bees are busy suckling nectar from my broccoli flowers, my lettuce has sprouted,  spinach will be coming any day, cannabis is almost ready for transplanting. What can be better than dancing in nature? Whether I end up alone or not, nature will always be around me to guide me. I’m free.

Choose freedom not suffering. Choose truth and not hope. Neither suffering nor hope will get you anywhere. It will only keep you waiting for something that will never come.

A Week in a Nutshell or Is it a Nut House?

Sorry for not writing more but once I explain everything I have had to go through you will understand. I’m proud of myself for passing the test of time, for accepting death for what it is: Life. As you know my mom passed away 2 weeks ago. My partner is in ICU because of embolisms and I’m waiting for the veterinarian to put my beloved dog Max to sleep. He’s had his share of suffering with epilepsy and I promised him I would not let him suffer.

Humans can’t deal with death, we have been programmed and conditioned to  believe that death is the end of the road. Our parting is difficult because we believe that once they stop breathing, it’s over, life is difficult without them. I have dealt with death in the last few weeks and I must say that I have done well.

Max has been with me for 11 years. He’s been an example of what we humans should be. Oh if only we could be like them 10%, we would be better at being humans. Max forgave me even when I got mad at him, he never stopped looking at me with love even when he knew I was about to blow up because he peed on the floor or couldn’t wait until morning to go outside and I had to clean up his poop. I have never heard my dog growl at me or anyone for that matter. Even when his tail was pulled, when a stranger kicked him, he never showed his teeth. He taught me so much, but most of all patience and LOVE.

But this is not what I came here to write. We come and go, it’s part of the game we came here to play, life goes on here in 3D or in another dimension. I’m writing because of the terminal madness going on. For some reason, I was very attracted to Trump and his presidency and with that comes the reactions across the world and the madness happening in America. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry, but I’m curious what is happening to Americans? Is it the fluoridated water, anti depressants, chemtrails, poison in the water system, or is someone through frequencies destroying what common sense and logic they have? I don’t know but it’s disturbing because I know one thing for sure. Whatever they are doing, they are not doing it out of clear mind or logic, not intentionally. The Americans that I know are good people.  I don’t have words for what I feel watching America disintegrate and fall into chaos. The violence and aggression because people don’t agree with each other, the bashing and gnashing, it’s very very sad.

Unless Americans come together very soon, I’m afraid the country will just erupt in great chaos, as if poverty and unemployment is not enough, do they really need this? I know many of you reading this blog are American and I don’t mean to offend anyone. My perspective is different than yours. I live in a different culture and way of life so perhaps I’m the one that has changed and that sees things in a different light.

We here in Croatia are dealing with something totally different. Because of our lack of government leadership, because of lack of jobs, because of high death rates from Cancer, people have retreated into their shells. I live in a village of 400 people and yet I don’t see many people during the day. We come out to get our daily bread and retreat into our homes. It’s how we deal with death, lack of and disunity. These people have lost their faith in government, have lost their will to fight and struggle because they have gone through communism, wars, hardships and now a high increase in Cancer because NATO bombed Serbia during the breakup of Yugoslavia and these people are now paying that price.

What is changing is that people are actually asking what is going on. They notice that people are dying off right and left. They notice that doctors don’t know any better than to just issue drugs. They notice that the weather has changed, that chemtrails are polluting their skies. They know something is not right but are not yet ready to listen or hear the truth. Awakening is painful. You and I both went through that process of realization and it wasn’t easy. Accepting the ugly truth that our entire life is programmed to live and breath a certain way is a hard pill to swallow but we also know that after that bitterness, we are feeling lighter and can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

These are difficult times for everyone. There is no country or people that are not suffering because we have allowed our governments to fuck us over. Yeah, it’s a hard pill to swallow, a very toxic pill, one that will make you nauseous and vomit but it’s part of the process.

As I have written many times in the past, we are the ones that will make that change but until more people wake up, things will get worse. How worse can they get you may ask? I don’t know how worse, how worse can they get, is it not horrible already? So long as you have a roof over your head and food in your belly you will continue to hope that things will get better. They will, but don’t wait on it because it’s not coming from any direction, it’s coming from within you.

The hardest pill to swallow is the one where you realize that you are the cause of this madness because you did too little too late. Wake up old soul, we don’t have much time left. Wake up old soul, remember who you are. You are the light that came here to shine and raise the frequency of this planet and humanity. Wake up old soul, because of you I may have to come back here again and I don’t feel very happy about that. Wake up old soul, I’m almost out of pills.

Survival-ism In The Post Truth Era

I watched a movie on HBO a few nights ago and have since then been deeply immersed in the theme of the movie. I have HBO to Go on my tablet for free so I can go to bed and watch pretty well anything I like. My partner only watches violent movies and so we rarely sit together in the evening to watch anything. Also, I’m not a movie watcher. It’s very difficult for me to just sit there and do nothing but “record” the movie.

The movie Survivalist got me thinking about a lot of things. Most post apocalyptic movies such as “Alone”and others end up the same way. There is nothing left, everything is destroyed, the survivors kill each other to survive.

In this movie, the survivalist found himself deep in the forest where he made a shack to live in and used the surrounding area close to his shack to grow food. He had a few traps to catch wild game but basically, he was able to sustain himself. At night, when the sun went down, he would go into his shack, close down the windows with wood and then lit a lamp and fire so that it could not be seen from the outside. In the morning, before going outside he would wash, get dressed and then slowly open the boarded windows and with a rifle in his hand slowly open the door.

I thought about whether it was worth it or whether the stress of staying alive was even worth it when you didn’t know from one moment to the next if someone would invade your space and take away what little you have left, or kill you. This is where I started to think about this.

We have never, in our recorded known history  had a situation where an apocalypse caused humanity to struggle and survive. What we see in movies is based on theory or suppositions that we as humanity will get violent and kill each other for food. Why is this being programmed into us? Who benefits from this theme? Are we to assume that should shit hit the fan and we are forced to survive that we will kill each other for food or other things we need? I don’t know that I can accept that because I live in a totally opposite minded culture. My people have survived several wars, lived without food or lack of for years yet stealing food or stealing anything would be considered immoral and shameful. I can say with certainty that should we be faced with that same situation, that my people would not consider stealing, let alone killing another human to take food from them.

Without going into US history about the depression, I don’t recall hearing or reading anything about armed gangs or thugs going around killing farmers or families in order to take their food. I haven’t read anything about countries that have been struggling with famine, poverty and poor agricultural conditions to go around kill people to steal their food. I don’t know of any country where killing people for food prevails today, so how did we get to that state of mind that we just assume we will  kill each other should we be faced with a post apocalyptic event?

Is this part of the programming so that if and when an event like that would happen, we would basically do their job and kill each other off? Where did this idea or concept come from?

Although I understand that we are not the same we were 100 years ago. Not only has technology improved, the way we grow food has changed and what is most important is that most of the population that has internet or a TV in the house had become de-sensitized to death. I have sat with friends in front of the TV and watched them as they watch a very violent movie and don’t flinch on the sight of blood squirting and shooting all over the walls. I turn my head or get up because I can’t watch it knowing it’s just a movie, but what difference does it make? Studies show that children who play violent video games are more violent in real life and are less compassionate, less caring, less sensitive to bad things happening around them.

I put myself in the place of that man in the movie and asked myself how I would survive in his place? I honestly can’t say, but I do know that I would never kill anyone for food. I would kill to defend and protect myself, but I would never consciously go out looking for food and be prepared to kill for it.

I don’t know where the Experts on Survival methods and equipment get the idea that we need weapons because we will have to protect ourselves or protect our food. Where or how did they come to this conclusion that this civilization is so fucked up that we will kill for food? I don’t doubt that Americans will do that. We see this all time during protest and riots where looters ransack stores and steal material goods. They are not even hungry, they are simply stealing valuable merchandise. If they have the tendency to do this, then they will have the tendency to get violent if they need to get food.

Even fiction books that write about the end of the world or EMP’s write about the population dying within days. Those people that depend on medical equipment powered by electricity would die within hours or days. Those that need potent drugs and medications such as Insulin would die within a few days or weeks. Food would disappear from the shelves within hours and once the supplies have dwindled, they would start walking/moving around looking for food. These fiction stories don’t write about killing each other for food, but they do mention protecting their land or farms and killing those that try to attack their families or access to food.

This is a very philosophical subject and different cultures will look at this in different ways. For now, I don’t see my people becoming killers to get access to food, but then I don’t have small children and as a mother I would probably do anything necessary to feed them. I can’t say that I would kill to get food, but I can say that I would do anything to protect my children and ensure they don’t die from starvation.

It’s just a sad, very sad state of humanity if we actually consider murder for food. One may say that we have to do whatever it takes to survive. I say, I’m going to leave this body sooner or later so why take another life? Why kill for a scrap of food because that scrap of food will only last a certain while and I will be without again. Is killing another human for food moral or even fair knowing we’re just occupying these bodies to have this experience>

I don’t have answers to our problems. I don’t know how we became what we are. I don’t know why we get violent when we are trying to protect and defend ourselves and our families. But I do know this: From the time we have been recording history, even ancient history shows that humans never lived in peace. Never. Perhaps that’s why we don’t know how to obtain peace now, because we don’t know what Peace means. It’s not imprinted in our DNA. We are genetically designed to kill for whatever reason and able to justify it. And we consider ourselves a civilized society? Maybe we’re not worthy of Peace or life itself because we have allowed this destruction of our humanity and no longer even feel true love for each other. Do we even know what love is? I don’t think so. Love doesn’t kill. Love doesn’t necessitate any type of violence. We have a long way to go before we can call ourselves worthy of Ascension or transition into a higher frequency. We have a long way to go before we gain the understanding of what Peace really means and how to achieve it.

We are like pit bulls that have been trained to fight other pit bulls as a sport. If you bring one of these pit bulls home with you, it will take years before this dog understands he no longer has to fight or kill to stay alive. We literally have to teach them love by loving them and in time they start to understand what love is. This is what humanity is right now. A pit bull in a ring, looking at this opponent and the only thing that is on his mind is survival. Whatever it takes to stay alive. But once he’s done and won the fight, he’s got wounds to heal, he’s alone in his pen or cage, he knows nothing else. He waits for his next fight, he doesn’t think about whether he will win or not. He just fights to the death because he knows nothing better and he has no choice.

We have a choice. We’ve always had a choice. In order to bring peace, we need to first have peace within ourselves. We need to stop competing with each other and start finding ways to end these wars. We have been at war from the start. I think we were bred and genetically altered to want to fight and kill. It has to be that way because I know that my Creator didn’t want me to be this way. I have never killed anyone, but I can’t promise I never would either. I can’t even promise that I would not kill for food. That means, it’s in my DNA if I’m even thinking about it.

I don’t think I’m going to watch Survivor type movies anymore because I don’t want to get any more ideas. I’m ashamed that I can’t promise to myself I would never kill.