Joy IS When Your Heart Sings

It’s been a while since I have posted something meaningful, but as the word gets out that I have Cannabis Medicine, many people are calling. It’s been very busy for me and my partner had some complications and that takes a lot of my time and energy.

Most of these people that call have no money to pay for the Medicine, but so far I have managed to GIVE each patient a month’s worth of medicine by carefully dosing it into empty gel capsules.

The purpose of this post is to identify with a few types of people that are receivers of good will. One family in Poland bargained with me about the price, so I sent them a monthly dosage to try out. It’s difficult to trust over the internet, I get that. But even after they received this medicine, and after a month of emails back and forth, they managed to talk me down into 1/2 the price. I did it out of love, they had to borrow money, I get that, but I also sent them along with the medicine (concentrate) a few jars of various creams for free. I felt bad for them, I know it’s tough when someone is ill and you don’t have money to get the best. A few days upon receiving it, they started to complain that the concentrate wasn’t hard enough as I described, questioning my integrity. When I wrote back and let them know that I more than made up for this loss they felt happened by giving them at least a few hundred dollars worth of Cannabis Creams and Salves, they said that didn’t count because they didn’t ask for anything.

I have to admit, it hurt my feelings; after all I’m human too;  because my intentions were honorable. Who in their right fucking mind would send by snail mail a package of illegal medicine and risk getting caught? Who in their right mind would GIVE so much more in value and then try to rip them off? Yeah, there are people like that.

Locally, here on the island, our butcher was sick and I offered to help because he doesn’t understand a tumor statistically leads to cancer, and pancreatic cancer is a death senetence, so I offered to give him some as well because he didn’t have money either. No problem, I spent hours filling up the capsules, dosing them for morning and evening and brought them to him. A few days ago I ran into his wife and she said: “Oh, the surgery went fine, he’s feeling good and doesn’t take it anymore”. Alright, but did she offer to give the rest back knowing what it cost? Nope. So, I called my friend and congratulated him on his speedy recovery and asked him to return the medicine because there are other people who are in the same situation as he is and they could really use it. No worries, he gladly returned it. This was a 2-month dose.

A few weeks ago, I went to visit my cousin whose husband is suffering from heart disease and Diabetes. I bought 30 caps for him. He said he didn’t need it, in other words, it wasn’t in his interest to get better. He wanted his wife to dote on him and bring breakfast in bed, why would he want to get better?

I said to my partner: “You know what? People are so ungrateful when you GIVE them something of value and don’t appreciate it. I bet had they paid for it, they would surely use every drop of it”-and I vowed to never give any of this medicine to anyone again. If they can’t pay for it, too bad.

Well, that didn’t last long. A lady in our country Capital Zagreb contacted me to ask me about the medicine. Her father had intestinal cancer and it had migrated over to his liver. She’s a medical nurse and did her research. When I gave her the price, she said she would do her best to put the money together. That was 3 weeks ago, so I knew she didn’t or wasn’t able to get her finances together, so I called her and offered to give her father some medicine for free. I had returned back the Medicine from my friend and I thought, why not? I made arrangements to send them to her in the mail. At first, she refused, proud and puffed up saying she could not accept such a gift. Really? If someone is offering to help you, can’t you open up your heart and accept the kindness offered to you? I managed to convince her she needed to open her heart and accept kindness because it’s a two-way street. If you don’t give, you don’t receive. If you can’t receive, you can’t give. It’s the natural law at work or Karma, whatever you want to call it.

I broke my promise that I would not do this, but I can’t function otherwise. My heart sings when I can do something good. I’m not in need of money, I have abundance in my life, though it does cost money to produce the Cannabis Concentrate and I do have to at least recover my expenses, but as you know yourselves, you need an entire field of Lavender to make a small amount and so I too would like to be compensated for my efforts and for taking the risk.

People have become so ungrateful, in extreme cases like this Polish family, who get everything 1/2 the price and get FREE jars of creams and salves and they find fault in what they received? It’s not my fault they live in poverty consciousness. It’s not my fault they chose to live in poverty. It’s not my fault their mother has brain cancer either. How do you deal with things like this? What has become of our human race that we can overlook the generosity and yet find fault with the gift they receive?

As a Psychologist, I would chalk this up to low self-esteem; but I believe it’s something deeper than that because I too many years ago gave so much and yet had such a difficult time accepting kindness. I didn’t feel worthy of that kindness but while I was rejecting it, I wasn’t getting anything good happen in my life and over the years, I changed, matured and became a Buddhist, good things started to happen. The more gratitude I felt and gave to Creator, the more abundance came into my life.

Some may say that I am fortunate to have such abundance. It’s not fortune. I worked hard at that, we have to change the way we view our reality. If we don’t feel worthy of kindness, it doesn’t come our way anymore. We attract what we feel so during those years of rejecting kindness, I had nothing but assholes enter into my life.

For those that celebrate the holidays, whatever your religion or beliefs; if you haven’t heard or felt your heart sing, then you haven’t opened your heart enough to receive kindness. It’s much easier to give then it is to receive. The heart doesn’t want or ask, it just feels love so love is felt in giving, at least it has been for me. If you feel guilty when someone does something good to you, then your heart is not singing. Love doesn’t know the difference, it just knows that it needs to sing to be happy.

No matter how much I promise myself that I will never give away anything anymore, my heart always prevails. If you live in the heart, you will hear it’s music all the time. Believe me, I know this. Today, I didn’t hear my heart sing, so I packaged up that medicine and mailed it off. It’s no big deal because I get so much more in return. You are the light, this light projects from the heart and if your heart isn’t singing and if you don’t hear the music, you need to go inside and ask yourselves why. Love. It’s all about love. I wish you all greatness over the holidays and that you find your ways and that you procure new paths. The old paths have worn out and overgrown with weeds. It’s time to find a new path and push hard to the finish line. We’re almost there, this madness will last another few years, but we are more than halfway through.

Love you all!

We Have to Get it Right

Part I of II -“I vetted you out” -claims David Wilpop in this repeated vomit story between himself and Drake Bailey. This Drake guy is a loser, he’s got a long history of hooking up with people and then they have disagreements and he finds another group. Another typical warning that came and went, yet David has all these contacts and intel folks but NEVER gets anything right. I only listened to the first 10 minutes because when I hear David constantly cutting into people to boost his ego, it just makes me sick.

So, November 25th is tomorrow. Sure, they know everything!

Part II of II

I have to assume if you are following this blog and read my posts that you are not religious, don’t belong to any religious organization and that you don’t believe in a LORD/GOD. If you follow a religious dogma and believe Jesus is returning, I suggest you stop reading because I will offend you. I’m known for my honest and open communication and fear not to say what is on my mind; so you have a choice. You can leave, get a life or leave a comment with your thoughts.

This post was long overdue. I wanted to write about what is going on in our reality. Each time I get ready to compose something, an event happens in the US. I don’t like to pick on the US or Americans, but like it or not, everything that is dark and sinister comes from that part of the world, it’s the Center for false prophets, channelers of higher spiritual beings, UFO research and a large Christian population. The US is no longer the beacon of democracy nor human rights, but so many people still believe it is.

It’s not terrorism Americans should worry about rather its own citizens. The mass shootings in the last few months alone reflect a very disturbed population, mental health issues, drug addictions and who knows what is falling from the sky.

Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. We can easily blame guns for the horrible shootings happening on a daily basis but the truth is the US has the strictest gun laws in the world and yet it has a serious problem and this is what should be looked at, the cause of shootings.

Switzerland has the leanest gun laws. Just about every Swiss adult has a gun, yet in 2016, there were 2 murders by guns. Swiss people can walk around with their guns and have the right to defend themselves with it if they need to protect themselves. It’s probably why this country is wealthy, a strong economy, a good democratic government. It knows that should they try anything, they have the entire Swiss population ready to shoot them all down.

As I wrote many times before, Croatia also has very lenient gun laws. I can buy a hunting gun and don’t need to be a hunter. I have 2 BB guns for shooting wild cats and rabbits without a need for a permit. I don’t shoot anyone, I use them to scare them away, but my point is that even Croatians have guns and when someone is murdered, it becomes big news because of things like that are not common in our country.  Why is that countries that have very lenient gun laws have the least murders? Because it’s not guns that kill people, it’s people that kill people. We have to ask ourselves what is wrong with these people for them to shoot another human being.

It’s the Texas Sutherland shooting that really affected me because god was nowhere to be found. My own people are majority Catholics and I have questioned many people I know that go to church on a regular basis. I ask them what their god has done for them? How come he never shows himself? How come he never answers their prayers? How come he allows them to get sick, suffer hardships? Is it maybe because he’s really old now and can’t get off his throne?

I dare not tell them the gods in the bible are aliens, they already think I’m strange as it is. In King James Bible, Genesis V.26:” And god said, let US make man in our image after our likeness…..27. So God created man in his own image, in the image of god created he him; male and female created he them.”

Isn’t it obvious that there was more than one god? ” Let US make man in our image”. If you read further through Ch. 2 of Genesis, it’s also obvious that these gods didn’t want Adam and Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. Ch.3.V.22: ” And the Lord God said, Behold man is become as one of US, to know good and evil…..”

Don’t people, preachers or whoever reads the bible notice that god was talking to another god? So, question is, why did the gods put the tree in the garden and forbid them to eat from it? I can only think of one reason and that was to test their loyalty. Remember, these gods designed humans to suit their purpose. They (gods) sent Adam and Eve out of the garden and man was never to be trusted again.

I’m amazed without words listening to ” god fearing”  Christians say they must PRAY, they must continue to do good to expel evil. This is what the preacher at the Sutherland church said the day of the shooting. Don’t they question why their god allows this to happen to them in the first place? When a reporter asked the Parish Priest where their god was, he fumbled and mumbled explaining their reward was in heaven.

For centuries, god fearing people have been worshipping these gods feeding them with their energy, paying to help build churches, and never questioning why they get nothing back?

What kind of feeling is that to feel helpless, depend on god for mercy and believe their life is a destiny their god chooses? I have so many questions for god believers of the bible and simply can’t understand how they don’t question their beliefs and existence of this god.

Genesis is very clear, not just in King James version but even in Mormon bible. ” Let US make man in our image”. What part of this do they not understand and choose to ignore?

The media claims the Texas shooter was an Atheist and that he wrote in social media that people who believe in god are stupid. I agree with him, but I surely would not go out and kill anyone for that. Also, I don’t believe the mainstream media, I believe this was a psych.op. So you may ask why? I have my thoughts on this one. The cabal doesn’t do shit like this for nothing. I think it’s because Trump brought God/Christ back to America. He infused his leadership with religion and subtly infusing the spirit of god into a population that has been slowly over the years been denied to say Merry Xmas or Happy Easter.

Ironically and sadistically, they program a loser to shoot people in a church to strengthen Christianity. I know this sounds ludicrous but it’s the same as programming losers to commit mass murders for the purpose of creating stricter gun laws.

Nobody can convince me that a supposedly mentally ill person can think rationally by putting on a bulletproof vest, organizing his weapons and bullets, pick out a location, drive to the church, get out of the car and within minutes shoot up a church. Mental illness is used very loosely, it’s like chronic pain. Where exactly is the pain? What mental illness did this man suffer from?

Something doesn’t add up and it will more than likely change stories over time just like the Las Vegas shooting.

But this blind faith is what amazes me. I had the same questions when I believed in the Catholic god. Why do people hurt me, god? I’m a good person, I haven’t done any harm to any other human being, so why do you punish me? What kind of loving god are you? When I asked my Catholic priest why, he quickly answered: ” God works in mysterious ways, we must suffer just like Jesus if we want a place in heaven”.

But for years I questioned this god because nothing made sense to me. Why bother being good when nothing good happened to me and it wasn’t until 1981 giving birth to my son and experiencing an NDE that I understood a bit more. It took another 10 years of studying and researching, seeking the truth that I was finally able to understand that religion is man-made and its agenda was to keep us from eating from the tree of knowledge.

We must never find out that god is Annunaki, that he created man to serve his agenda and so by using all means, methods, lies, and deceptions, they (the gods) didn’t want us to know who we really were. Maybe these gods were not the Annunaki, we have no definitive proof to tie them to the story in the bible, but it does mention the Nephilim (those that came from heaven to earth) and yet it’s not studied in churches. What happened to the Nephilim? Where are their descendants? After all, these giants mated with the women of earth.

I understand it’s very difficult to accept that the bible might be pure mythology, that it was designed to deceive us and keep us in fear. On the other hand, when I offer them to read the Gnostic gospels, they have no interest in doing so. Denial.

Religion is just one small segment of the deception to keep us dumbed down, but it’s also important because people give up their free will and power to this god. There are no bibles in the Catholic churches here. Why? Croatians are very intelligent people. 2/3 of our citizens have University Education. We are taught in Grade 3 all countries, capital cities ,basically, by the time we complete elementary school, we know more than high school graduates in Canada and the US. So, I think we would figure out the bible very quickly especially where it states: A preacher/elder must marry to serve as an example to his flock. Well, where did Celibacy come from? It came from the Canon Law but what their agenda was on this, I can’t say.

This religious revival in America is an attempt to keep people following god because more and more people are waking up and starting to question just like I did in my early years. They needed to create an Atheist to go on a shooting rampage to hit at the heart of religious people. It’s very simple when you take an objective look at it. A mentally ill man or someone who is angry and vengeful most likely isn’t going to drive to another county and target a church. He will go to the nearest church and take his avenge out at god. Why didn’t this guy shoot up his local church? Because, people that know him may have a different opinion about him. He assaulted his wife and stepchild? Hell, every 5th female in the world is assaulted by her partner, nothing new there. That doesn’t make them killers. Killers kill because of anger, frustration, hopelessness and because they have no value in life. Mentally ill people don’t drive to other locations and just shoot up a church unless there was someone in that church they hated and wanted to get rid of.

As a psychologist who left that useless system years ago, we can never know the whys because sometimes even the killer doesn’t understand why, may not be honest with us, may not be able to express, may not be able to recognize the difference between good and bad and right and wrong. I have treated many killers who had mental disorders and were left unchecked, so to say this man was mentally ill because he assaulted his ex-wife, that’s proof he’s been set up.

The terrorist in NYC was shot in the leg to keep him alive so that they could get more information. The ones that are shot dead are done so to keep them from telling the real story or remembering what was done to them. If the cops caught up with him, they didn’t need to kill him if he was sitting the car.

It’s all out war in America from terrorism, political bias and hatred, drug abuse, unhealthy diets and high rates of diabetes, heart disease. Let me not even count this madness of women coming forward after 30 years to say they were inapropriately touched. Give me a fucking break. 30 years ago it was not deemed inapropriate and I myself liked things like that. I liked when men whistled at me when I walked by. I liked when sitting in a bar, a good looking guy rubbed against my arm. But these women, without any consideration of the consequences, speak out now after 30 years or more and ruin the reputation of men that may have corrected their ways, cleaned up their acts, had successful careers.

As I predicted years ago, it gets worse before it gets better because people are not concerned about anything so long as they have something to eat and a roof over their heads. The people know something is wrong, but as one foreign diplomat said in a recent interview with Oxsana Boyko on Russia Today: ” America is crumbling under it’s own hypocrisy and like all overbloated empires it must collapse first and build a better nation based on lessons learned”.

As long as religion reverbiates through this current administration, the situation will continue because Atheism isn’t evil, it’s a choice between believing or not.

I’m sorry for all the good and innocent people killed but instead of blaming guns or gun laws or politicians, they should be blaming their own corrupt governments for being complicit in these events.

These women waited all these years when these men were competing for something. Isn’t it a bit odd that they waited until it was newsworthy? Shame on them for bringing the past into the present. It was OK to gently grab a woman by her tits 30 years ago. It was ok to brush up against her, it was the culture that it was. I’m not saying it was right, I’m just saying that we can’t punish someone for something that happened 30 years ago. Why didn’t they call the police? Why didn’t they tell someone? Some of these men may have changed their ways, may have never done anything like that, but we need to separate a crime from unethical behavior and not treat them the same way. It’s disgusting and as a woman, I am ashamed. If something happened to you 10 or 20 years ago, and you did nothing about it then, you don’t deserve any better because obviously, you had something to lose had you reported it. Most of these situations were careers that they didn’t want to lose so now after 30 or 40 years when their careers ended they come forward. It’s disgusting.

So, my partner is doing ok, we’re going to a specialist hospital in the capital of Zagreb on Monday to have him re-assessed but he’s passed the expiration date. Statistically they live 3 years after being diagnosed early. He was diagnosed in late stages and he is still here 4 years later.

Love you all.

Self Inflicted Victimhood

I’m sure everyone reading this post has heard or read about Weinstein Hollywood Mogul and his downfall. I’m not a feminist. I don’t believe feminism was designed for the greater good. I believe it was designed to break families apart and if we look at its beginnings and where we are today, there is nothing good to say about the movement. In fact, I have read some stories about the founding feminists who are now 40 years later regretful as they live alone, no children and not much to live for other than the cause that failed.

I believe that all humans should have the same rights, same access to health, same pay for the same work, but I don’t agree that a 5’4″ woman should be allowed to be a firefighter if she can’t carry her own load. Truth is, we are not equal.

The Mortal Man was designed to procreate. It was never intended for him to be with one woman. It is our culture and religious beliefs that have made the rules, but innately, man is not a one woman man, that’s  not his biological nature. It is said and I have read this in many places that women carry the burden of life by pregnancies, hormones and giving birth. I think that men have it harder because each moment of their lives are in a struggle to remain within man’s rules/god’s rules while his nature is to procreate. He’s in a constant struggle within himself to remain loyal while his body/nature wants to have sex with every woman he’s attracted to. I know it sounds horrible, but it’s who we are. Get over it.

We are not equal in our roles, our physical appearances or the way our brains function. Man’s innate role is to provide for the family because he’s stronger and braver. He is the protector, he is the strength for women to draw upon. Women are innately designed to take care of family, to be the nurturer, to give life and raise the children.

Man and woman cannot love only one person. Love isn’t chosen, it’s energy that connects two people. A man will often have a fling and tell his partner that he didn’t know what happened, that he loves his partner, that it didn’t mean anything. He was more than likely being honest, but our culture and religion demonizes man’s wanderings as if it’s a crime or sin. If you have read the bible or at least parts of it, men didn’t have just one wife. In fact, they had many wives and everyone lived together and got along. There were no priests or government agencies that required you to get a marriage license (permission). There were no rules. The only requirement was that a man could have as many wives as he wanted providing he could take care of them. Did you get that? TAKE CARE OF THEM.

Now, this doesn’t mean that I don’t believe women can be like men, I’m just saying that naturally, we are not equals in any way, shape or form. My daughter sometimes says that I’m old-fashioned. No, I’m not. This is not a trend we’re talking about. I don’t recall Creator making new body suits and changing our innate character and roles. You can’t take a natural form and twist its role or ability. You can’t take a man and force him to be loyal to one woman when he’s not biologically designed to be that way.

When I first met my partner 12 years ago, he was shocked when I told him that I would understand if he had a fling with another woman. Understanding the way men work, I could not FORBID him to go against his own nature. So, we try not to create conditions for them to do that. If a man is happy at home and his needs are met, there is less likely a chance they will wander, but I only wanted him to know this because I expected from him to be honest with me.

Weinstein. After saying what I said, let me start by saying this: There are no victims. Unless he’s forcefully raped a woman, there are no victims. These women chose their career over their own virtues therefore, they have nothing to complain about. I’m shocked at the experts and Mass Media pointing the finger at him as the bad guy. Sure, there are laws now that forbid that kind of behavior, but this would not have happened to these women had they walked out or refused. And if only a few woman did this, perhaps it may have changed the paradigm. So don’t come to me after 30 years and cry wolf just because YOU made a choice to allow this man to do things to you. YOU chose your career over your virtues and therefore, you have no right to complain. If he did rape you, report him to the police, but if you’ve managed to live with this all these years, I’m sure you found a way to deal with your own humiliation.

I’m sick and tired of women blaming men for everything that happens to them. Weinstein and other powerful men not only have power/money but are biologically designed to procreate. It is our choice whether to accept their behaviour or not. I’m sick and tired of every wrong being blamed on men and for every woman victim there is also a male victim. Males have now become victims to feminism and it’s no wonder they have gone AWOL (they became gay). No, not every male is gay because of this but I can bet you anything it has some role to play.

Everthing has been twisted and far removed us from our natural states, our innate truth. Adam and Eve didn’t get married, they didn’t promise anything to each other and in fact, I challenge anyone to find any evidence of a man and woman having to get permission to marry. It’s only when Christianity came into effect that changed the rules and turned men against women. Women have been downgraded, that’s true but that’s because feminine energy is powerful and it had to be subdued. In our reality, men and women should have equal rights, equal pay, equal respect but we are not equals in design and this is why we have so much divorce, so many broken relationships, destruction of the family unit, children that have different fathers. This is not normal or natural.

So, whenever you have an issue or need to find answers in this male/female relationship, look at the nature of it. Nature is true and correct. Men and men, women and women is not natural. It could be because of a hormonal imbalance, but you don’t need to have surgery to prove a point, just be who you are. If you’re a woman and feel you’re more of man, so be it, but you don’t need to go through that artificial process of becoming an artificial man, just be and feel who you are. Nature makes mistakes too, but it’s not natural to be with same sex people and I don’t give a damn whether you agree with that or not. Look at us. Did feminism, accepting homosexuality make us a better race? I think not. Has getting a marriage license and filing for divorce because a partner cheated on you change anything? No.

There was a book I read many years ago titled: “The Mortal Man”. Very interesting if you can find it because after you have read it, everything will make more sense.

Weinstein used his power and money to get what he wanted, but the women always had a choice. They could have said no, walked away or called the police. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Hold On Tight and Shine Your Light

Our external addictions are merely a reflection of our internal state of emptiness. We are conditioned and programmed to seek outside of ourselves to satisfy the lack of. If you have mental issues, you’re told to seek help from an expert that will more than likely listen to you for years and or prescribe drugs. If you lack self-worth, no problem; get an extreme makeover or change the way you look. Get some new clothes, whatever, it will make you feel better.

Most of the humanity that is plugged into the grid of electricity and technology is addicted.  I admit I am addicted to seeking the truth. I’m addicted to uncovering and debunking the lies sold to us. I’m also addicted to helping others more than myself, although I justify that by believing I’m doing the right thing. I never carry my cell phone with me around the house or garden for that matter unless I’m expecting an important call. I NEVER take my cell phone to bed with me unless I’m waiting for a call from the hospital. The only reason I have a cell phone is that of safety should something happen to me or someone in my family. I don’t even know how to use my cell phone for anything other than making/receiving calls and using the calculator. I’m good with technology, just simply not using the phone for anything other than contact.

The addictions have become socially acceptable especially for the last two generations where their parents are already dreaming about what phone to buy them as soon as they are born.  I become very sad when I see school-age children walking home staring into their phones. Don’t these parents realize their child has a great chance of being fried or getting brain tumors? I guess not. Been there, done that. I have actually spoken to these parents and to them it’s more important what others think about their child then that child getting brain cancer. Because children don’t have any self esteem, they have to be like everyone else, they don’t feel strong in their essence.

I’m insulted when I’m sitting with a friend and having coffee to watch them constantly glance at their phone or I will hear a beep and they will grab that phone and respond. For starters, it’s rude to be in the company of friends and be constantly interrupted because they can’t leave their phone alone.

What is this social media or texting addiction really all about? Some may argue that it’s just a way of life. When you get your first phone in grade 1, it can be considered as a way of life, but I still see it as an addiction, not to that cell phone but to being part of herd mentality. We no longer think for ourselves. It’s much easier to find information and choose what we want to believe so we don’t have to think and make our own decisions.

We have become robotic in so many ways, almost looking like clones of each other because the herd mentality requires us to be like everyone else and if you’re different, then you’re an outcast. Teaching children individualism has fragmented us, separated us and this “respect” towards all doesn’t work anymore. You’re either with me or against me is the newest motto I see happening in the West.

So, our external addictions are a reflection of what is missing inside.

My daughter and son started to understand the value of money the moment they were big enough to hold a broom. We had a list of chores on the fridge and it  was adjusted to suit their abilities and size. A 2-year-old can’t yet hold a broom very good let alone sweep the floors. They could throw out the trash and get 50 cents or every day in that month for $5.00. Both worked out each day what they would do and bartered with each other, covering each other and were never forced to do anything. It wasn’t about the chores or even helping me keep the house clean. It was about teaching them values and that hard work created value for their time. It was about understanding how parents had to work hard and then use that money to take care of the household.

This following story has touched everyone who heard it.

It was around 1986, my son Milan was in all day kindergarten at the time. We were living in Seattle as I completed my PhD and I chose to move to the US to run away from my past. That summer my mother picked up the kids to take them back to Vancouver and spend a few weeks with her as she had her vacation.

The next day I received a call from her and she sounded upset so I automatically felt this tightness in my chest thinking that something had happened to the kids. She told me she took my daughter and son then 7 and 5 respectively to Toys R Us and she told them to go and pick out something that they really wanted.
Gina knew what she wanted right away and headed for the Cabbage Patch doll section. Milan was nowhere to be seen so my mother went looking for him. (Yes, in those days we didn’t fear our children being abducted). Milan was standing in front of the Transformers and just staring at them. My mother asked him if he had found what he wanted. The Transformer he wanted was $26.00.

Milan: Yes baba (grandma), but it’s more than $20.00 and I don’t have enough to cover it.
Baba: Milan, you are with me now so the rules don’t apply, you can pick out anything you like.
Milan: Oh no baba, mama would get mad. Our toy allowance is $20.00 a month and if we don’t have enough, we have to pay the difference.” My mother had a difficult time convincing him he could have what he wanted and he insisted on talking to me to tell me what happened. I laughed and agreed with my mother that when they were with grandma, she made her own rules.

Let me be clear that the kids earned their money to use for anything they wanted but I only allowed them to spend $20.00 of that for toys and the rest for other things. For instance, my daughter wanted Nike tennis shoes that were more than I had for spending. The tennis shoes she wanted were a bit more and she knew if she wanted them, she had to make up the difference. This lesson was about “using your money wisely and prioritizing”.  The kids were perfectly happy shopping at a 2nd hand store for clothes and didn’t get hung up on Brand Names. This is because they worked and understood the value of money and that money doesn’t grow on trees. As a single mom and with a limited budget, that’s how things were in those days.

They are now 37 and 39 years old. Neither have debts for things you can get 2nd hand like a car loan or Credit Cards to buy things that don’t add value. They live simple lives and always thank me for teaching them how to get what they want out of life because all their friends are burdened with debt and live in fear of losing their jobs.

In other words, they didn’t create external addictions because they learned early in life that money doesn’t buy you happiness. Their self-worth and self-esteem was high because of their accomplishments early in life. They felt great after doing their chores and being paid for their efforts. Gina started working with her grandma when she was 13 years old, cleaning offices on weekends and by the time she was 16, she was already working as a cashier in a large market chain.

Without a solid foundation of teaching your kids these values, they grow up empty, worthless and dependent on someone. Parents give away too much and teach wrong values without giving it one thought: “If I die tomorrow, can my kids move on and did I teach them everything they need to be independent?”

This issue is very prevalent here in Croatia. When I ask parents why they do this, their answers/excuses are almost always the same: “Well, you know, we were poor, the war made the economy bad and I don’t want my kids to suffer like we did”. I’m sorry to say but people in third world countries don’t indulge their children. Even in those countries where there are wars or poverty, they encourage their kids to leave home and get married. The economy has nothing to do with it neither do wars. It’s in these conditions that we gain wisdom and strength to be able to stand on our own two feet. I don’t mind so much with small children, I’m talking about adult children that live at home all their lives if there is room for them. I  know of parents that live in poverty conditions because they gave everything to their kids. They co-sign for loans and end up making payments. They eat less meat so their spoiled adult children can dress well. This is NOT right.

Although life was challenging raising two small children while working and getting my degrees, my kids never went to bed hungry and never made wish lists because they knew they could get whatever they wanted by working and saving for it. Sadly, money is our GOD and religion and we can’t survive without it.

Our addictions are unfulfilled internal needs be that alcohol, drugs, sex, coloring hair, painting your nails, having the latest technology or anything material for that matter. If you feel good about yourself, you don’t need to poison your brain with toxic hair colors. If you don’t care what others think about you, you will use your cell phone until it dies or like me, when the sim card is already archaic and have to upgrade to a smaller one or when the cat chewed up my charger cord.

We appreciate things more when we learn early how our parents must work so hard. Once the kids were in 3rd and 4th grade, I would sit down with them and we would create our monthly budget together. We made a list of things we needed for that month and compared it to my earnings. First, we marked off utilities and food, then priorities and if there was anything left over, we used that for extra clothing or going out for dinner.

By then, both kids were earning their “chores” money and use that for anything they wanted, it was theirs to do whatever they wished because they worked for it.

This isn’t about money, I wanted them to understand how life works, give them that sense of accomplishment and pride. They used their money wisely and often shopped around to get the best deals. They borrowed from each other, paid back their loans, bartered and exchanged chores, etc. This was the best life lesson they ever had.

When you are complete inside, when your heart is filled with pride, accomplishment, responsibility for your actions and appreciation for who you are and what you are capable of, there is no need to seek and become addicted to external sources.

I’m pleased to say that my kids still drive used cars, shop at 2nd hand stores, save money and enjoy life because they’re not burdened with huge debts and can turn away from a gadget if they don’t have the cash for it.

We are addicted because something is lacking and because our belief systems don’t match reality or our parents gave too much and didn’t teach us self-responsibility or earning points. With that said, it’s not surprising that a majority of people have at least one addiction and that is wanting to fit in, be like everyone else and feel good with material things. Sadly, and they know this; this good feeling doesn’t last very long and so they go out again and find something else they think might make them feel good or feel accepted.

If you can’t go a day without participating in social media, you need to ask yourself why because the virtual world is not real and polls show that 75% of people online are not always honest about what they say or write. It’s an escape into an illusory world where everyone knows they can bullshit all they want and pretend to be someone they are not. We need to stop connecting to virtual friends and start getting our more, contact with real people just like we did before we had this technology.

I see kids walking to school with these damn phones in their hands, little kids around 7 or 8 years old absorbing damaging frequencies that are accumulative just like radiation.

We have completely given our authority and power to an unknown force that doesn’t want humans to access the truth, the truth about who we are and why we are here. In order to keep us from the truth, they cause circumstances so that we seek help externally and become addicted to anything that will prevent us from going inside to access the truth.

We have become empty shells, deformed bodysuits and a brain that is controlled by a thing called EGO. I have written many times that we are not the brain, the brain is the body computer that operates all body functions and it is not designed to enlighten us or guide us to where the truth is inside. The brain is merely a recorder of all events, sights, sounds, tastes and a storage facility. All other functions are related to regulating the body and to keep it working the way it should.

We are zombies, living zombies, brainless, mindless and under total control of those that don’t want us to escape inside and connect with Soul, our essence of who and what we are. We’re addicted to fiction, illusions, myths, fantasies and bit into the propaganda of bigger is better, money is power and God is an old bearded man that may or may not hear your prayers. Even when something does happen, they still give credit to that god for it happening.

Welcome to the End Time Madness as more people escape the external illusion and addictions to seek truth because innately they know that is not the reality we came to experience.

My addiction is seeking truth and I have no intention of seeking rehab or giving up, but it’s the only addiction worth living for. Everything else is the Illusion they created to keep you focused outside yourselves so that you don’t figure out just how powerful you are.

Most of you know this, but do you believe this? You were so powerful old soul; and whether you believe it or not, your life here has made a difference. It is now very confusing, so much human loss of life, so many natural disasters, wars, and then to claim that  they are close to annihilating ISIS but they had to kill an entire village to kill one terrorist. It’s like chemotherapy, shoot it up your veins and while it’s destroying everything in its path, it just might kill a few cancer cells.

As I have written about many times, these are the end times, the end times for THEM and they are throwing everything they can think of at us hoping they will win. Not so. We will win because this play we are acting in is just a repeat of Atlantis, we have been there and we know this time around we will not let this happen again. Hold on tight and shine your light.


You Have Forgotten Your Life’s Purpose

Note from Ines: This is what I have been writing for years. It is very difficult to accept this reality because of the Terminal Madness going on and humans are acting out hatred, vitriol, judgment and acting as if they are better than others. I write about Terminal Madness often and I also write about our journey here. Even I have my moments when I doubt my own belief system, especially now when we are being attacked from all sides because those that Control are losing their grip on us and the only way to stop us is to play with our minds. Enjoy!

All humans on Earth at this time of enormous change are here to help with the awakening, yes ALL humans.  There is not just a special group of Light workers and Light holders who are horribly overworked as they assist in the awakening process.  No, ALL of humanity is involved, and no one is special, because ALL are special simply because they are ALL the beloved and absolutely perfect children of God, even though their attitudes and behaviors while in human form may well seem totally at odds with Love, with Mother/Father/God.

As we have so often pointed out, the vast majority of humans have forgotten their life purpose, the purpose with which they incarnated.  Nevertheless, like those of you reading this and similar messages, they too are here to assist in the awakening process.  EVERYONE is involved, because EVERYONE is ONE!

One of the main reasons that you need to release all judgment of others is because you cannot possibly know their circumstances, their chosen life paths, and therefore you are in no position to pass judgment.  Only God and the soul involved has that knowledge, the soul has forgotten it, and God never judges!

What you ALL incarnated to do was to love one another, and even those of you who hold that intent most of the time are still unable to completely let go of that judgmental aspect when some one’s words, behaviors, or activities horrifies you because they are so obviously in complete misalignment with Love.  But that is the human condition.  You have ALL denied Love and engaged in bitterness and hatred.  As Jesus said so long ago – or, in truth, but a moment ago – “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

As humans you mostly are unworthy, except that unworthiness is an utterly unrealaspect of the illusion.  All are the beloved children of God, and therefore to be unworthy is impossible!  Unfortunately some consider themselves to be sinless when they live in seeming righteousness, and use that belief in their own sinlessness to justify their righteous judgment of those who they see as unworthy.

Within the game you are playing there is much behavior that truly is despicable, BUT you are all just actors in a drama that you invented, and when the play ends you will revert to your true selves, beings of infinite Love, just like your heavenly Father.

Focus on this divine truth: “I am a being of infinite Love, like unto my heavenly Father.”  With that thought in mind allow yourselves to know it.  Then reset your intent to be only loving whatever arises.  Whenever doubt or fear arises, no matter what appears to cause it, immediately reset that intent, and, of course, make sure to reset it at least once daily, preferably when you go within to your holy inner sanctuary where the flame of divine Love, the Love that is YOU, burns constantly.

When you do you receive enormous help from those in the spiritual realms – your guides, mentors, and loved ones – those with whom you made agreements, before you incarnated, to mutually support each other.  You have, as it were, one foot in the illusion playing the game, while the rest of You resides eternally in God’s Presence, therefore You are never alone!  When in doubt, in need, or in fear, call immediately on us for support, we are always there for you.

As there is only One, and as each of you is an aspect of that One, and as that One is Mother/Father/God, Source, Love, then you are always and eternally connected to the infinite Power that is All That Is.  That Power is yours, open your hearts to It, accept It, and then create with It in your own lives as humans the Truth, the Good, and the Beauty that you all are as you hold your Light on high for all to see.  You do that by consciously choosing to be loving in every moment no matter what arises.  In doing that you are You, the beloved child of God, instead of an actor in the ongoing drama that is the illusion.

By doing this you complete the task you set yourselves before incarnating: To be a brilliant Light shining on Earth to assist all to awaken into the Truth that they are indeed One with God.