What Does It Mean?



I’m going to be very careful in the way I word this paragraph. The link above  is a very controversial website that I have checked into here and there over the years. I have come to the conclusion that this website probably has more truth/factual news than lies. At first, I got the impression I was reading out of this world information, but over time, the pieces of the puzzle consistently fit into the big picture.

In the end, it’s up to you to decide whether it can provide you with information that will help you make better decisions in your life.


To Hold Your Breath is to Die

To hold your breath is to die. Breath, which represents the most intimate and most necessary of your physical sensations, has to flow out from what you are, passing into the world that you think it’s not part of you. Physically, portions of you leave your body constantly and intermix with the environment; you are made up of the same atoms as the environment.  You know what happens when adrenalin is released into the bloodstream. It stirs up and prepares you for action. But in other ways the adrenalin doesn’t just stay in your body. It’s mixed within the environment and it affects the atmosphere, it is transformed.

All our of emotions liberate hormones but these also leave our bodies as our breath leaves us; and in that respect we can say that we release chemicals into the air that then affect it.

Physical storms, then, are caused by such interactions.  Again, I am telling you that you create your own reality, and this includes the physical weather – which is the result of mass consciousness or mass thought, of our individual reactions. I know that many of you reading this may not agree and demand justice, blame the Elite, the Cabal, the Chemtrails,  HAARP all responsible for what is happening in our environment. Has it ever occurred to you that they are doing this to change “OUR” effects on the environment through our mass consciousness rather than doing it against us? This is something to ponder about.  We have given away our power or most are not aware of that power so all they can do is blame something else for its situation, while I believe that what is being done to us is not to ‘change’ us but to ‘stop’ us from changing the world with our mass consciousness.  We are not victims; we are being attacked because THEY are afraid of our power. I have been writing about this for years now.  THEY are on the DEFENSIVE; they are defending themselves against our power and our awareness of who we are developing very quickly because of the new energies coming in.

You are here in this physical experience to learn and understand that your energy, translated into feelings, thoughts and emotions, causes all experience. There are no exceptions.  Once you understand this, you only have to examine the nature of your beliefs, for these will automatically cause you to feel and think in certain ways. Your emotions follow your beliefs. It’s not the other way around.

You have to understand/realize that any idea you accept as truth is a belief that you hold. You must then take the next step and say, “It’s not necessarily true, even though I believe it”. By doing this, you will learn to disregard all beliefs that imply basic limitations.

Here is an example of some limiting beliefs that you have to work on.

  1. Life is a bitch and then you die.
  2. The body is inferior, as a container for the soul, it’s automatically degraded and it ages. You may feel that the flesh is bad or evil, that its appetites are wrong. Christians may find the body deplorable, thinking that the soul ‘descended’ into it – “descent” automatically meaning the change from a higher form or condition to one that is lower or worse. ( Born into sin).
  3. I am helpless and there are many things I can’t control in this lifetime.
  4. I am helpless because my personality and character were formed in childhood and I’m a victim of my past.
  5. I’m a victim because I’m at the mercy of events from past lives, over which I now have no control. Karma determines this lifetime and I must accept the negative aspects of my life because of it.
  6. People are basically bad and unpredictable.
  7. I’m the only one that knows the truth.
  8. As I get older, I will get sicker, frailer and lose my abilities.
  9. I’m not creative, I have no imagination.
  10. I am always struggling to find enough money to live, there is inequity in this world.

Some or all of these beliefs are held by many people. Those that have them will experience them. Physical reality will always seem to reinforce the beliefs; therefore, the beliefs form the reality. I want to knock down these beliefs or such limiting concepts.

Wake up, nobody can change your beliefs for you, nor can they be forced upon you from without. You can change these limiting thoughts; however, as I always point out, it takes time and commitment to do so. Depends on how bad you want it I guess.

Look around you. You entire physical environment is the materialization of your beliefs. Your sense of joy, sorrow, health or illness, all of these are also caused by your beliefs. If you believe that a given situation can make you happy, then it will, and the happiness will reinforce the condition.

Within you is the ability to change your ideas about reality and about yourself, to create a personal living experience that is fulfilling. Your consciousness beliefs direct the functioning of your body, it’s not the other way around.

Your inner self adopts the physically conscious, physically focused mind as a method of allowing it to manipulate in the world that you know. The conscious mind is particularly equipped to direct outward activity, to handle waking experiences and oversee physical work.

Its beliefs about the nature of reality are then given to inner portions of the self. These rely mainly upon the conscious mind’s interpretation of temporal reality. The conscious mind sets the goals and the inner self creates them into reality, using all its facilities and energy. The great value of our conscious mind lies precisely in its ability to make decisions and set directions. Its role is dual, however; in its ability to make decisions and set directions. Its role is however dual: It is meant to assess conditions both inside and outside, to handle data that comes from the physical world and from the inner portions of the self. It’s not a closed system, therefore.

To be human requires astute discrimination in the use of such consciousness. Many people are afraid of their own thoughts. They don’t examine them. They accept beliefs of others and this action distorts information from both within and without.

There is no battle between the intuitive self and the conscious mind. There only seems to be when the person refuses to face all the information that is available in his conscious mind. Sometimes it seems easier to avoid the frequent adjustments in behavior that self-examination requires. In such cases an individual collects many second-hand beliefs. Some contradict each other; the signals given to the body and to the inner self are not smoothly flowing or clear-cut, but a muddied jumble of counter-directions.

If you believe that you must accept your difficulties, then this belief alone can deter you from solving them. Your ideas and beliefs for them can be found in your conscious mind. If you accept the idea that the reasons for your behaviour are forever buried in the past of this life, or any other, then you  will not be able to alter your experience until you change that belief.

The realization that I form my own reality was a liberating one. I realized that I was responsible for all my successes, all my failures and all my joys. I can change any of those areas of my life which I am not happy with but that means I have to take responsibility for my being.

Your spirit joined itself with flesh, and in flesh, to experience a world of incredible richness, to help create a dimension of reality of colors and of form. Your spirit was born into flesh to enrich a marvelous area of sense awareness, to feel energy made into corporeal form. You are here to use, enjoy, and express yourself through the body. You are here to aid in the great expansion of consciousness. You’re not here to cry about the miseries of the human condition, but to change them when you find them not to your liking through the joy, strength and vitality that is within you; to create the spirit as faithfully and beautifully as you can in flesh.

The conscious mind allows you to look outward into the physical universe and see the reflection of your spiritual activity, to perceive and assess your individual and joint creations.  In a way, the conscious mind is a window through which you look outward – and looking outward, perceive the fruits of your inner mind. Often you let false beliefs blur that great vision. Your joy, vitality and accomplishment do not come from the outside to you as the result of events that “happen to you”. They spring from inner events that are the result of your beliefs.

We are constantly at the mercy of suggestion. Our own conscious beliefs are the most important suggestions that we receive. All other ideas are rejected or accepted according to whether or not we believe they are true, in line with the steady conscious chattering that goes on within our minds most of the day – the suggestions given to you by yourself.

You will accept a suggestion given by another only if it fits in with your own ideas about the nature of reality in general, and your concepts about yourself in particular.

If you use your conscious mind properly, then, you examine those beliefs that come to you. You don’t accept them just like that. If you use your conscious mind properly, you are also aware of intuitive ideas that come to you from within. You are only half conscious when you don’t examine the information that comes to you from without, and when you ignore the information that comes to you from within.

Those that control this matrix know about this, I have written about this before. They use the suggestions, subliminal messages, symbols, lies, deceit and politics to form our thoughts, which in turn create the reality they want.

In order to keep us in this matrix, they have to do this, they are completely aware of who we are and our genetics, deceit, deception, mind control is the only way they can keep us disconnected from truth and our true  selves.

Your thoughts blossom into events. If you think the world is evil, you will meet with events that seem evil. There are no accidents in cosmic terms or in terms of the world as you know it. Your beliefs grow as surely in time and space as flowers do. When you realize this you can even feel their growing.

You are in control, take responsibility.

The State of Abundance in a Lacking World

Abundance is something I live with every day. Every single day I feel gratitude for that. Let me first explain/define what abundance means to me and how it’s defined to us. The dictionary defines it as: 1. an extremely plentiful or over sufficient quantity or supply; 2. overflowing fullness; 3. affluence; wealth

I  live in a beautiful home my partner and I built together in 2009 with money we brought back from Australia and Canada. My partner has an Australian pension which gets a lot more here in Croatia. I am into all sorts of things from TCM healing, creating medicine from medicinal plants, the island I live on is a botanical paradise. I work translating books and articles, plenty of things to earn a living from.  We are and have been debt free even before we met 12 years ago so for me, being financially secure is not about having a lot of money but about not being in debt.

Years ago when I started my journey with Stuart Wilde, abundance from the Universe was a strange concept to me. Stuart said that we get abundance by visualizing that abundance and by thinking and being grateful would bring that abundance into my life. At the time it seemed too easy, too good to be true; but I worked hard at changing the way I think. I simply got tired of spinning the wheel and never getting ahead. I could never understand how we can all graduate from the same University, same top of the class and yet some of us didn’t make it while others went on to have very successful careers.

What do we do when we need money? What do we think when we need money? We usually think: ” I’m broke, I don’t have money, my wallet is empty, I’m overdrawn at the bank, I can’t pay my bills, etc.” What happens? Nothing. We continue to not have.

Creating abundance actually works. It was challenging to change the programming but eventually I found that money came whenever I needed it. Abundance is having more than you need. Looking back just the last 10 years, I have given away so much clothing, household goods, free treatments and medicine so much so, I dare to count but I don’t count. It’s an automatic thing for me. I love giving, it’s a feeling of knowing someone else is at least for a moment experiencing that abundance.

The reason I’m writing about abundance is because I only realized lately that it’s been a constant event. I was focused on the little details that I didn’t notice abundance in it’s entirety.  I don’t look at food prices or natural supplement prices; for me they are a must have, but I honestly struggle with this need to have so many shoes or so many tunics for the winter. For me, abundance is not just about having more than I need but giving that extra to those that don’t have.

I can’t go out and buy a new car in cash, but there is a constant flow of money/energy. It seems that the more I give, the more I get back and all I have to do is be grateful and thank the Universe, Creator, God for all that I have.

My going to sleep mantra is: Thank you mother and thank you father for all that I have and for all that I AM. I think about it daily, so grateful for this and I often look back into the past years of struggling to survive; I always earned decent money but the energy was wrong. I hated letting go of that money to pay for rent and bills and I constantly thought: ” I need money”.

Abundance is not just about money and things. I’m blessed with a constant flow of messages from my guides and mentors that confirm I’m on the right path.

During my dysfunctional years; when asked what I would wish for if I had just one wish; my answer would always be the same: ” To wake up without worrying about how I’m going to survive that day”. This sentence was and is the motivation for my change. It was never about money, it was about NOT having to worry about it and how I could get it.

Without attachment to anyone or anything, allows me to think about the moment I choose to leave this body. I’m talking about ” death of the human body“. If I could choose that moment, I could do it right now without any qualms of leaving those I love behind because I’m comfortable in my understanding that those who chose to play this game of life with me will one day understand or will be able to access me on the other side. But, more important is that they understand my belief system and that dying is a transition I experienced before.

If you’re new to this blog then you may not have read earlier posts about my Near Death Experience. I don’t call it a ‘ near death’ because I was clinically dead for 12 minutes.

I didn’t get caught in the Karma trap but went directly home. Home was Source, it was the birthplace of my spirit. I often wondered how or why I didn’t get trapped with the Karma Lords and I now know that we experience the afterlife based on what we believe will happen. If you believe you’re going to heaven, a heaven will be waiting for you.

Often younger souls after leaving the body are lost and so their thoughts are created in the afterlife so that they are not so shocked. In other words, if you believe you will be met by 7 virgins, most likely you will until you figure out or someone helps you understand you have left a physical body and must find your way home. The Karma Lords will convince you that you didn’t work off your Karma and have to go back to reincarnate and this keeps Souls in this Samsara circle of life and death until they figure it out. If you believe you will be greeted by St. Peter at the gates of Heaven, he will be there waiting for you. It’s just part of the transition, not everyone can deal with it, especially new or young Souls.

Upon leaving my body, I manifested instantly at Source. I know it was where I think it was, I felt a sense of ‘ coming home‘, this was the time/place/space of my conception that Creator manifested my Spirit and let me go to explore and experience all that there is. It was just a knowing that I had returned home and in this moment of body death, I was able to re-charge and return back into a body that was struggling to stay alive and then after I was stabilized, the baby was removed by C-Section. He has no brain damage despite the fact he was without oxygen for over 12 minutes. The doctors that were saving me said this: ” We can’t explain what happened, we just know that God was cradling you both and keeping you alive”. It was a profound moment and statement but it took me another 20 years to figure out what happened.

So, abundance is not just money and material things, it’s a peaceful mind filled with positive thoughts, flows of gratitude. I forgot what it’s like to worry about something. I live day to day. Sometimes, like now in winter, I often don’t know what day it is and have to look at my phone to know.

We all have problems in life, I have mine too but I don’t think of it as a problem. In other words I have a situation that needs to be resolved and I’m focused on finding the solution. Thinking about it doesn’t solve anything.

Sometimes I want to buy something and it’s more than I have with me, I think: ” It’s either not meant to be or wrong timing”; and walk away ‘knowing’ it will resolve itself.

If I don’t have funds for something I want, I just think:” I will get it when money arrives”. I NEVER think or use words such as ” Don’t have, need, wish I had or I’m broke”.

My thought machine is never filled with useless or needless thoughts, in other words, I can lay down for sleep and I look for things to think about because I simply don’t think about what I’m going to cook tomorrow or plan things that might happen or Johhny is sick”. I don’t have this process turned on anymore because all it does is keep you spinning in useless thoughts that don’t go anywhere. Johnny may be sick, but thinking about him being sick won’t make him well. I deal with Johnny when I wake up.

This abundance of mindlessness leaves room for my gratitude. I bang my leg into the kitchen chair and say: ” Ouch, thanks for that experience”. If I have a headache, I figure out why and work on getting rid of it but I DO NOT think how it hurts, it only feeds the headache. I don’t give it power. Instead, I give abundance power, I turn problems into experiences that I came here to have. Abundance is having inner peace consistently even when I’m in the middle of a ‘ problem’.

Many of you know that my partner has been very ill with lung challenges, he’s almost died a few times under the hands of expert medicine. It’s been a long 4 years fighting to keep him alive and well. When I run into people I know, after asking me how he is doing will often say: ” You poor thing, your life must be horrible having to take care of a sick person”. I answer with indignation that my life doesn’t change because my partner is ill. He is the one that is ill, he is the one that is suffering, why would my life be difficult?

This is an honest response. My abundance in mindlessness doesn’t change and I feel that just because someone I love isn’t feeling what I feel, shouldn’t and doesn’t affect my peace. I do what I can, give him all the love and support on a daily basis but he’s the one that is suffering, not me.

When you’re on a long commute and millions of thoughts are passing, you’re not living in the moment. This moment is real, everything else is an illusion. We’re always in that moment, those needless and useless thoughts obscure that experience.

I remember years ago travelling across Canada from B.C. to Alberta which is a 10 to 12 hour trip. There were times when I lost track of time. I would pull into a car stop and not remember what happened in the last hour. I was so engrossed in thought, that I didn’t pay attention to my driving. That’s scary!

After I changed, I would stock up on CD’s and sing all the way. Take time out to visit a creek or river or forest or slow down to watch the deer and moose on the side of the road. The trip was more meaningful and time actually passed much quickly because I was living in the moment.

It’s one thing to write about abundance, there are many books on this subject, but I wonder how many of those authors actually live it?

It’s a process, but not a physical one. It’s a mental process. It’s too good to be true to believe that money will come into your life just by believing you’re rich, but it’s not just mental either. Once you have made it a constant process, your energy changes. It’s that energy that attracts what you want. Everything is energy, but we have to create it through thought. We are Creators, this is why some people have and some don’t. It has nothing to do with education or intelligence. It’s a god given ability that most people don’t know how to use or don’t believe it works.

There are a few thought processes in between the thought and abundance.

I had my thoughts all lined up, I was grateful, visualized the abundance but it never came. I started to think what I was doing wrong and through analysis realized that I was still feeling unworthy so I worked on that I could finally feel the energy change in and around me. You see, I always believed it would work but I had to find the way to that abundance. There is no surefire way because we’re all different.
Things came sporadically and that’s when I figured out that ‘doubt‘ was preventing that flow.

The little creep Ego would pop up and question me: ” Are you sure, do you really believe that nonsense?” But, like always I would take a mental hammer and bang him over the head and he would be gone. It’s like when you’re dieting. At first you’re doubtful, not sure of yourself or the diet but when the weight starts coming off, you gain confidence in yourself and the diet itself which motivates you to do better.

Abundance for me is being able to go to sleep when I want, sleep as long as I need, work when I feel like working without feeling any guilt or responsibility or regrets for that matter. A life that exists only in this moment and feelings of love and gratitude fill me. I’m also grateful to my mentors for helping me and guiding me.

You can feel abundance in people. Not all rich/wealthy people live in abundance. Most don’t sleep at night worrying about their money or how to get more. Those that work and sweat hard to achieve success are not always in abundance. Have you ever heard a billionaire say he’s filled with abundance? No. Most likely he’s looking at ways to get more of it. That’s greed.

Abundance doesn’t have to be about money. You may not be financially secure, you may be in debt but you feel abundance because your needs are being met.

Each of us have different standards of what is too much money or not enough. For someone $10.00 can be chump change we give to our kids as a daily allowance, while for the homeless it will buy food for that day. What you are comfortable with and happy with is your abundance. So, it all goes back to the thoughts we create. Abundance doesn’t always mean you have more than you need, it can be whatever you feel good about.

But if you don’t believe it or don’t trust it to work, you can’t get there.

You may be confused now. How do you live a life without thinking? I’m talking about useless thoughts versus thoughts we have to manifest. It’s one thing to worry about Johnny all day, it’s another to create a plan or desire to do something.

While someone will be driving and thinking about bills and picking up kids from school, others are focused on the road, the cars, the drivers, the music playing. It’s a choice between wasting time in mindless useless thoughts or using thoughts to create and manifest.

Basically, thoughts such as you BE are necessary to focus but thoughts about worries and fears are useless. What’s the point of worrying about what the weather will be like tomorrow? Will that change anything? No. What we need to learn to do is turn that worry into a constructive thought. Tomorrow, no matter what the weather is, I will complete what I set out to do. If I can’t manifest my thoughts, then I’m just clogging up the thought process itself. Thoughts are just garbage, this body we use is controlled by the brain. The brain is programmed to NOT serve us. Those that created this DNA human created a human that would be lost in it’s own thoughts….there was always the goal to keep us in the dark. Why did the gods throw out Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden? Because they couldn’t be trusted. They ate from the tree of knowledge despite being told not to. So, they were thrown out, they were useless to the gods. They wanted a body that would be obedient to them. This body we use is not working in our favor but in theirs.

Abundance comes in many forms and for me is just always having, always knowing  it will come, always living in the moment and always sharing the extras with those that don’t have. I don’t give to give, I give to show them abundance is something we can choose to have but we have to work at it.

This year I have 2 goals to reach. 1. Get my teeth done. I have suffered from an extreme phobia of dentists because as a young girl in Croatia my teeth were pulled without anaesthetic; that loud and explosive crunching sound in my head never left me. The pain was horrible and so it’s not about sitting in that chair, it’s about getting to that chair. As a result, I have lost and broken teeth in fear of having them repaired and now have to basically have an extreme makeover in the mouth. 2. To find a housekeeper twice a week to replace me so that I can take time out and do things without having to rush home. I no longer get out and pursue hobbies because I can’t leave my partner alone at home too long. 3. This is a maybe. I want to get lip enhancement and maybe with new teeth and a new smile, I won’t notice the upper thin lip.

Abundance in being abundant. This planet can feed every living soul, there is abundance but we live in a pay for food system so only those that can pay can get access to that abundance. Abundance is all around you, just waiting for you to change your thoughts and change your energy so it can manifest IF you believe it will, if you trust your own power to create and then thank the Universe for having it.

Abundance is our god given right and it’s within our power to create it. It’s that ‘extra feature‘ that looks to complicated to learn so we leave it aside. That ‘ extra feature‘ was never taught to us. We were taught we had to pay our way through life and that nothing was for free.

If I’m repeating myself it’s because I’m very passionate about this subject. Knowing that we can all have abundance based on how we think seems too good to be true, but it IS true, I live it every day.

Make 2018 the year for you to bring abundance into your life. When you’re in abundance, you have lots of time to think about how to help others. Remember, you’re not giving for the sake of giving and feeling good about it. You’re giving so you can show that abundance is something we can all manifest.

I can help you understand what it means to have abundance but if I can’t show you how to do it, you’re stuck and so this is not something you learn in a few hours, you might have to get rid of a lot of cobwebs, but once you set it up, it becomes automatic like everything else we do such as walking, talking, chewing food etc.

The hardest part is actually believing it is possible. It’s like an alcoholic finally admitting they have a problem, so we judge without hearing the truth. The truth is that we are such powerful beings and we don’t know how to use those ‘extra features’.

I’m the one that knows it’s possible, this is no theory and Stuart Wilde was correct. You have to be what you believe and you have to see what you already have.

Ines: God, I’m broke, I need help.
God: Ines, I’m not a bank.
Ines: I’m just so distraught about not having money.
God: I’m not a psychologist.
Ines: Why and how come you never answer me?
God: I do all the time, you just don’t hear me. Your ‘extra features‘ are disabled.

So, it’s within us to manifest that abundance, you, your body have to attune to that energy by thinking with intent, seeing yourselves having what you need and knowing it will always come.

I have long forgotten what it was like to go to bed worrying about not having bus fair to get to work the next day. Most of us live this way, constantly focused on what we don’t have and that just attracts more of what we don’t want.

I know many people here that are struggling by, but all I hear is: ” We’re just poor, we have no money, god doesn’t hear our prayers, god is punishing us”. They have manifested what they believed. They lived in poverty all of their lives with same opportunities as others, but because they were in a poverty consciousness, it’s all they ever got. You know many people that are rich and powerful but didn’t go to college or grew up in poverty. It was their mindset that determined their success.

How can we think about abundance in times like these? Because it has nothing to do with the current situation or the financial state of individuals. Abundance is ever present around us and all we need to do is access it. Look at all the developing countries, not everyone is poor, in the midst of the poorest there are those that live in abundance, it has nothing to do with the current economic situation.

When I arrived here in Croatia in 2004, my cousins told me I would starve to death because nobody would hire me, I was too old. My cousins had lost their jobs after the war and were still unemployed. Thing is, they didn’t look for work, they just waited for someone to find a job for them. When I said I can do anything, they laughed at me. But, I did believe that I would succeed and within weeks I started booking rich clients for therapy. I knew my life would flow into whatever I created and here I am, 13 years later, enjoying abundance.

My cousins didn’t understand, they became jealous and envious and accused me of being LUCKY. While they are still unemployed, I’m blessed with abundance.

I tried to talk to them on many occasions about creating abundance but they didn’t believe me or they didn’t want to accept the fact that their poverty consciousness was the cause of not having. It’s hard to find out 40 or 50 years later into your fucked up life that you always had the power to change it, so it was easier to not believe  and think of your life as just having luck.

I’m here to tell you that no such thing as luck. Everything is the way we see it, but like I wrote earlier, it’s hard to accept the possibility that we create our own reality.

It’s difficult to accept that we know nothing about how things really work especially if you believe in some god that determines your fate. Don’t you think that’s a cruel god? That he would give abundance to one and not the other? How does this god determine who deserves and who doesn’t?

You are the gods, you are that spark of energy created in LOVE. Everything you do here in this reality is of your choice and your thought creation. You are what you believe. If you believe you’re broke and powerless, you will only get more of it.

Abundance is not about how much money you have, it’s about having more than you need and sharing it with others, it’s that exchange of giving and receiving with love that creates that powerful energy and once it starts flowing, you don’t accumulate; you share the extra with others to show them how we can create abundance in our lives. Through this process, we teach others how to create their own.

Make 2018 a new start in abundance, humanity needs you.


The New 2018 Reality, What a Wild Ride it Will Be

First of all I want to wish everyone an exciting new 2018 reality. They are doing a great job are they not? What is white is actually black, what is harassment is actually rudeness. It must be really scary for men these days. They can’t approach a woman, can’t pay a compliment, can’t do anything. How do you get the attention of a woman if you’re not able to touch, whistle, pay a compliment and or touch her butt?
Hey boys, you can touch my butt any time. You can whistle when I walk by, you can touch your shoulder with mine when you walk by, no worries, I still enjoy those fine cavalier moves.
As for women, why don’t you just sew up your vagina since everything is offensive to you. What planet did you come from?
Let’s not talk about politics and the once revered Fox News that I watched for many years LIES about Iranians being poor, that LIES about N. Koreans being poor and hungry.
I would like to ask any news organization if they have ever taken the time to travel to Iran and see for themselves. Even IRAN has all it’s power/electrical infrastructure underground. The US; the great Amerika still has electric and telephone poles above ground. When I watch the US news, it’s like I’m looking at Bangkok or Thailand with all the streets lined up with above ground utility poles and THE MEDIA has the nerve to accuse Iranians and N. Koreans of being poor and lacking in something?
Let’s not talk about the fact that the geopolitical stage is changing and that countries are finally finding the fucking balls to remove themselves from US policies. It became evident when a majority of countries voted that the US had NO right to make itself the international legal council and decide where it can place it’s Embassy in Jerusalem. Nicki Haley pointed fingers and said she was taking names. Well, that list is long Nicki so go for it.
Even Croatia a third world country within the EU has all it’s utility infrastructure underground. Even little Croatia has the fastest fibre optics for Internet. Don’t talk to me about poverty US media.
It’s about hypocrisy and double standards. When Iranians protest, it’s because they want to get rid of their dictatorship. When Americans protest which they do everyday on just about everything; it’s called Democracy.
Yes, it’s the End Times, the Terminal Madness that I often write about. Didn’t I tell you things would get crazier and worse before they get better? Now that the ” disclosure” is happening, that people are finally figuring out what is going on, when the crooks in Washington are literally getting caught with their pants and panties down, they become like cornered wild animals, lashing and gnashing knowing their end is near anyways.
We’re not done yet; this is the foreplay of Terminal Madness. You should celebrate the fact that ” disclosure” is happening. Disclosure was never about disclosing UFO and aliens. Disclosure is People disclosing information they received. Did you ever believe that our governments would tell us about UFOs and Aliens? Did you really believe that?
There is no ” end of world”. Now that the Nibiru story is dead, the new story is that it’s going to hit Jupiter and destroy us. Right. With all the blood moons, super moons, the announcements in 2017 alone with hundreds of predictions and dates that something is going to happen, never did. As I wrote about many times, these so called truth seekers and gurus are all paid shills, paid to sell a story hoping the majority will believe it and live in fear.
Fear is what they need. They live on fear. There is nothing dearer to them than you being scared shitless. Sure looks like they have succeeded because it’s no longer cool to gently touch a woman anymore. Men, you might as well become homosexuals because you’re not going to find a real woman. A real woman loves compliments, loves Macho men, loves a bit of roughness because it’s the testosterone  proving he’s a real man. Real women love to cook and watch their man enjoy that meal she prepared with love. Real women feel great when being whistled at. Real women don’t wait 40 years to report sexual abuse. Real women have pride and dignity and don’t need to suck dick in order to succeed.
A real woman will let you be a real man.
But this is the world we all created. Whether we knew this fact or not, it’s the reality we have created. Yes, I have written about this many times, but remember, this is an illusion; you’re not really here….you’re projecting your thoughts into the body you’re occupying. Kryon was right. If you talk to your cellular structure, it will listen and do what you tell it. I have been talking to mine for a year now and my hair is no longer salt and pepper, it’s slowly growing brown again. My face is that of a 40 year old woman, while 10 years ago, I looked 20 years older than I am now.
Here is what I look like today at 60. No make up, no hair colors, natural. IMAG0200
So, everything you thought was real, everything you believed in is bullshit and everything you see/hear on TV is opposite of what they report.
Left is right, right is left. Love is now hate and hate is now destroy Trump. I’m sure glad that I don’t live in the US or Canada. Moving to Croatia in 2004 was the best decision I ever made. Sure, it’s not perfect here, but a man can still gently touch a woman while talking to her trying to win her and she will still shyly turn her head.
You are being turned into robots and slowly into AI because you’re buying into all the bullshit. Why are you afraid to speak your truth?
I have been busy doing nothing lately. My partner is doing well, I’m having some health challenges that I can’t figure out what is causing this high blood pressure, but soon will get help in the house so that I can take 2 days off a week and get out of the house. This year is my year. This year is for me. I sacrificed years of caring for my partner and I want it all back this year. The only way to do that was to hire help to replace me for 2 days and I can’t wait because there are so many things to do yet.
I want to thank those of you that have been emailing me and asking me if I’m alright. I’m struggling with whether to keep this blog. Sure, I don’t have to close it down but honestly, I couldn’t think of anything to write about or should I say: There is so much happening I didn’t know where to start. It’s different being an observer. As an observer, you’re not attached to anything you see or hear.
This is really the ultimate goal for all of us, to remove ourselves from the emotional reality and let go of everything, become the observer without judgement. You won’t survive any other way. Your emotions of anger and frustration or extreme stress and struggles will eventually manifest into illness. I have finally learned that my emotions don’t serve me one bit. The only emotion/feeling that I hold on to is Love but funny thing about love, we don’t find it, we don’t seek it, we don’t choose it, it just happens.
Love is the only emotion that we can’t control. Think about it. How do you stop loving someone?
I didn’t wake up one day and think: ” I’m going to meet a man today and I’m going to love him”. I met my partner one night and a few days later we were feeling love. It just happens. Every other emotion we can control. We really can.
A few days ago a very obese lady came to see me. She had come through a referral and heard I made Cannabis Medicine and Creams. Because she was overweight, she had problems with her knees, her BP and sleeping issues. She insisted that she needed a tea or medicine. I insisted that she was plain fat and that she needed to lose weight. She was angry at me. I could have sold her some medicine, I could have sold her very expensive medicine, but it would not have done her any favors. She was angry at me because all her doctors told her the same thing. Lose weight and the problems will go away. When she finally asked me how to do that, I told her this: ” While sitting here I heard you say:” I’m fat, worthless, I’m lazy, I hate myself and I need help”. Here are your answers: ” You’re not fat, you’re not worthless, you’re not lazy, no need to hate yourself and only you can help yourself”.
She needed to change the way she thinks about her body and accept herself for what she is. No medicine or cream can fix that issue. People are obese either because they do have a legitimate health problem or they are addicted to food. For either of them there is help but we need to get our mind in the right place.
Don’t let the emotions control you. Seek love. Love is all you need. Love is always there for you. Love never makes you cry. Love isn’t the cause of hunger. Love is what we were made from. The light that we are is love. Until we can clear all those emotions that don’t serve us, nothing changes. I have been writing about this for years and I stand by those words.
Nothing changes until you change. People don’t change until they don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Until then they struggle and hope and wish that things will get better. It’s normal to feel afraid at the thought of change, but until we change the way we think, nothing else changes. You are the one that will make the difference, it all starts with you.
How do you know you love yourself? Look into the mirror. Stare at yourself. Can you just stare at yourself and smile? Anything else isn’t loving yourself. I remember when I started that exercise years ago. I would stare and then focus on the eyebrows, the thin lips, the large pores in my skin….but each time I did this, I noticed less and paid more attention to my eyes. In time, I was able to stare at myself, and say: Wow, what a beauty you are….I love you. I love my body, I love my varicose legs, I love my sagging boobs, I love my salt and pepper hair, I love me.
I’m not doing any research or seeking out the fake gurus anymore. They eventually drown themselves in their own propaganda, no need for me to do it for them. I don’t need to research, I just feel that person and so far, nobody has commented or said that I was wrong about anyone; the truth is that truth cannot be allowed to come out. All those so called whistleblowers or deep state actors  either made a deal with the devil or are paid to speak. They do not allow truth to come out, remember that. You cannot speak truth and stay alive, and you can try and convince me of that forever, but been in this business for over 30 years and I have seen them come and go.
There is no truth outside from you. Truth is yours. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, truth is in the heart of Soul. My truth cannot be your truth. Their truth is only their truth, not mine or yours. I don’t care what the dictionary defines truth as. Can you honestly tell me you know the truth about anything other than what you have experienced yourself? No.
Whether you want to or not, like it or not, you’re a chess piece on the chessboard of this reality. It’s all a game, it’s a drama, movie or theatrical production. Heck, even if Earth was flat then we have nothing to worry about. If the Earth is flat there is no pole shift, if the earth is flat, there is no event hitting this planet because technically we’re not a planet then, we are just a piece of real estate being suspended in this reality.
Do you know what is real? Do you know what the truth is? Do you know whether you’re on a flat or round earth? No. We don’t know anything, we’re just guessing at things. Truth is yours and if you want to share it with me great, I can then better know you. The same goes for my truth. I write it here for you to share, but it’s not your truth, it’s mine.
We still have a ways to go, celebrate the fact that we are moving on that timeline. Oh by the way, timelines have been changed. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know. What does that mean? It means that the Mini Ice Age is here and those of you living in the Northern Hemisphere better start thinking about that. They are not going to tell you anything and by the time you figure it out, you won’t be able to sell your home or move. Do some research into that, it’s not like a half/half thing. It’s a wavy system, I saw it in one of my out of body experiences a few weeks ago. I was on a ship in space and looking at a console screen and I could see waves of white around the planet. Someone said: ” This is a short one, 10 years enough time for these idiots to finally wake up cause nothing else is working”.
You see, we have observers, we are observers. I often wake up tired because I made so many out of body trips during the night, but I haven’t figured out how to remember them yet. It’s possible that I’m travelling in a highly charged frequency zone and by the time I return to the body, memories are gone. All I know for sure is that this is not the only reality I exist in. The Soul (spirit) can leave the body when sleeping and observe it’s other experiences. Just ask for it when you go to sleep.
Out loud tell yourself that ” tonight I want to have other experiences and remember them when I wake up”. Doesn’t happen right away, but remember this: You do not DREAM. You are actually having another soul experience. I wrote about this before. A mature Soul or Old Soul can fragment into different experiences. One Soul doesn’t always occupy just ONE body. A fragment of our Soul is always on the other side of the veil just in case we get lost, but the older the Soul, the more experience it has and is able to have multiple realities. I  know this because I can experience this when I choose to.
Lately, I have been waking up tired, I don’t remember what it is that made me tired, but I know that I was in battle because I wake up feeling like I just won something.
Hey, it’s ok to believe you’re only human too but even as a human you are very powerful if you know how to use your ” extra features” that the body comes with. It’s like driving a fancy car but never using the GPS; you prefer to guess and drive around or using a feature that takes too long to figure out how to use. That’s our attitude towards exploring those ” extra features” we have. Some just give up because they’re not getting results as fast as they would like.
Last night, an 70 year old woman came to see  me because of back pain. I like to piss off my patients because it’s the only way to get them to think. ” You have occupied this body for 70 years and you don’t know how it works? You mean to tell me that for 70 years you never took interest in how your body works? You feel better going to a stranger to tell you how you are feeling”? This gets them everytime because we’re not taught to think that way. If you don’t know how your body works, you better start learning because the medical system is soon to collapse. How are you going to know and be able to read your body in order to fix the problem?
Trust me, you don’t have the right to live in that body if you don’t know anything about it. That body you occupy was designed by you before you incarnated. You designed and chose the body you are occupying, therefore, aren’t you the list bit interested in what you designed and why?
Curiosity killed the cat, that’s why they say they have 9 lives. I am so curious about everything and I can’t imagine using something that I don’t know how it works. Just fascinates me but then life is fascinating for me. It’s like a discovery and I need to know everything about it because I don’t know how long it will last.
You are your own wonder. You designed and created this body; you are so powerful. When are you going to figure that out?

Joy IS When Your Heart Sings

It’s been a while since I have posted something meaningful, but as the word gets out that I have Cannabis Medicine, many people are calling. It’s been very busy for me and my partner had some complications and that takes a lot of my time and energy.

Most of these people that call have no money to pay for the Medicine, but so far I have managed to GIVE each patient a month’s worth of medicine by carefully dosing it into empty gel capsules.

The purpose of this post is to identify with a few types of people that are receivers of good will. One family in Poland bargained with me about the price, so I sent them a monthly dosage to try out. It’s difficult to trust over the internet, I get that. But even after they received this medicine, and after a month of emails back and forth, they managed to talk me down into 1/2 the price. I did it out of love, they had to borrow money, I get that, but I also sent them along with the medicine (concentrate) a few jars of various creams for free. I felt bad for them, I know it’s tough when someone is ill and you don’t have money to get the best. A few days upon receiving it, they started to complain that the concentrate wasn’t hard enough as I described, questioning my integrity. When I wrote back and let them know that I more than made up for this loss they felt happened by giving them at least a few hundred dollars worth of Cannabis Creams and Salves, they said that didn’t count because they didn’t ask for anything.

I have to admit, it hurt my feelings; after all I’m human too;  because my intentions were honorable. Who in their right fucking mind would send by snail mail a package of illegal medicine and risk getting caught? Who in their right mind would GIVE so much more in value and then try to rip them off? Yeah, there are people like that.

Locally, here on the island, our butcher was sick and I offered to help because he doesn’t understand a tumor statistically leads to cancer, and pancreatic cancer is a death senetence, so I offered to give him some as well because he didn’t have money either. No problem, I spent hours filling up the capsules, dosing them for morning and evening and brought them to him. A few days ago I ran into his wife and she said: “Oh, the surgery went fine, he’s feeling good and doesn’t take it anymore”. Alright, but did she offer to give the rest back knowing what it cost? Nope. So, I called my friend and congratulated him on his speedy recovery and asked him to return the medicine because there are other people who are in the same situation as he is and they could really use it. No worries, he gladly returned it. This was a 2-month dose.

A few weeks ago, I went to visit my cousin whose husband is suffering from heart disease and Diabetes. I bought 30 caps for him. He said he didn’t need it, in other words, it wasn’t in his interest to get better. He wanted his wife to dote on him and bring breakfast in bed, why would he want to get better?

I said to my partner: “You know what? People are so ungrateful when you GIVE them something of value and don’t appreciate it. I bet had they paid for it, they would surely use every drop of it”-and I vowed to never give any of this medicine to anyone again. If they can’t pay for it, too bad.

Well, that didn’t last long. A lady in our country Capital Zagreb contacted me to ask me about the medicine. Her father had intestinal cancer and it had migrated over to his liver. She’s a medical nurse and did her research. When I gave her the price, she said she would do her best to put the money together. That was 3 weeks ago, so I knew she didn’t or wasn’t able to get her finances together, so I called her and offered to give her father some medicine for free. I had returned back the Medicine from my friend and I thought, why not? I made arrangements to send them to her in the mail. At first, she refused, proud and puffed up saying she could not accept such a gift. Really? If someone is offering to help you, can’t you open up your heart and accept the kindness offered to you? I managed to convince her she needed to open her heart and accept kindness because it’s a two-way street. If you don’t give, you don’t receive. If you can’t receive, you can’t give. It’s the natural law at work or Karma, whatever you want to call it.

I broke my promise that I would not do this, but I can’t function otherwise. My heart sings when I can do something good. I’m not in need of money, I have abundance in my life, though it does cost money to produce the Cannabis Concentrate and I do have to at least recover my expenses, but as you know yourselves, you need an entire field of Lavender to make a small amount and so I too would like to be compensated for my efforts and for taking the risk.

People have become so ungrateful, in extreme cases like this Polish family, who get everything 1/2 the price and get FREE jars of creams and salves and they find fault in what they received? It’s not my fault they live in poverty consciousness. It’s not my fault they chose to live in poverty. It’s not my fault their mother has brain cancer either. How do you deal with things like this? What has become of our human race that we can overlook the generosity and yet find fault with the gift they receive?

As a Psychologist, I would chalk this up to low self-esteem; but I believe it’s something deeper than that because I too many years ago gave so much and yet had such a difficult time accepting kindness. I didn’t feel worthy of that kindness but while I was rejecting it, I wasn’t getting anything good happen in my life and over the years, I changed, matured and became a Buddhist, good things started to happen. The more gratitude I felt and gave to Creator, the more abundance came into my life.

Some may say that I am fortunate to have such abundance. It’s not fortune. I worked hard at that, we have to change the way we view our reality. If we don’t feel worthy of kindness, it doesn’t come our way anymore. We attract what we feel so during those years of rejecting kindness, I had nothing but assholes enter into my life.

For those that celebrate the holidays, whatever your religion or beliefs; if you haven’t heard or felt your heart sing, then you haven’t opened your heart enough to receive kindness. It’s much easier to give then it is to receive. The heart doesn’t want or ask, it just feels love so love is felt in giving, at least it has been for me. If you feel guilty when someone does something good to you, then your heart is not singing. Love doesn’t know the difference, it just knows that it needs to sing to be happy.

No matter how much I promise myself that I will never give away anything anymore, my heart always prevails. If you live in the heart, you will hear it’s music all the time. Believe me, I know this. Today, I didn’t hear my heart sing, so I packaged up that medicine and mailed it off. It’s no big deal because I get so much more in return. You are the light, this light projects from the heart and if your heart isn’t singing and if you don’t hear the music, you need to go inside and ask yourselves why. Love. It’s all about love. I wish you all greatness over the holidays and that you find your ways and that you procure new paths. The old paths have worn out and overgrown with weeds. It’s time to find a new path and push hard to the finish line. We’re almost there, this madness will last another few years, but we are more than halfway through.

Love you all!

We Have to Get it Right

Part I of II -“I vetted you out” -claims David Wilpop in this repeated vomit story between himself and Drake Bailey. This Drake guy is a loser, he’s got a long history of hooking up with people and then they have disagreements and he finds another group. Another typical warning that came and went, yet David has all these contacts and intel folks but NEVER gets anything right. I only listened to the first 10 minutes because when I hear David constantly cutting into people to boost his ego, it just makes me sick.

So, November 25th is tomorrow. Sure, they know everything!

Part II of II

I have to assume if you are following this blog and read my posts that you are not religious, don’t belong to any religious organization and that you don’t believe in a LORD/GOD. If you follow a religious dogma and believe Jesus is returning, I suggest you stop reading because I will offend you. I’m known for my honest and open communication and fear not to say what is on my mind; so you have a choice. You can leave, get a life or leave a comment with your thoughts.

This post was long overdue. I wanted to write about what is going on in our reality. Each time I get ready to compose something, an event happens in the US. I don’t like to pick on the US or Americans, but like it or not, everything that is dark and sinister comes from that part of the world, it’s the Center for false prophets, channelers of higher spiritual beings, UFO research and a large Christian population. The US is no longer the beacon of democracy nor human rights, but so many people still believe it is.

It’s not terrorism Americans should worry about rather its own citizens. The mass shootings in the last few months alone reflect a very disturbed population, mental health issues, drug addictions and who knows what is falling from the sky.

Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. We can easily blame guns for the horrible shootings happening on a daily basis but the truth is the US has the strictest gun laws in the world and yet it has a serious problem and this is what should be looked at, the cause of shootings.

Switzerland has the leanest gun laws. Just about every Swiss adult has a gun, yet in 2016, there were 2 murders by guns. Swiss people can walk around with their guns and have the right to defend themselves with it if they need to protect themselves. It’s probably why this country is wealthy, a strong economy, a good democratic government. It knows that should they try anything, they have the entire Swiss population ready to shoot them all down.

As I wrote many times before, Croatia also has very lenient gun laws. I can buy a hunting gun and don’t need to be a hunter. I have 2 BB guns for shooting wild cats and rabbits without a need for a permit. I don’t shoot anyone, I use them to scare them away, but my point is that even Croatians have guns and when someone is murdered, it becomes big news because of things like that are not common in our country.  Why is that countries that have very lenient gun laws have the least murders? Because it’s not guns that kill people, it’s people that kill people. We have to ask ourselves what is wrong with these people for them to shoot another human being.

It’s the Texas Sutherland shooting that really affected me because god was nowhere to be found. My own people are majority Catholics and I have questioned many people I know that go to church on a regular basis. I ask them what their god has done for them? How come he never shows himself? How come he never answers their prayers? How come he allows them to get sick, suffer hardships? Is it maybe because he’s really old now and can’t get off his throne?

I dare not tell them the gods in the bible are aliens, they already think I’m strange as it is. In King James Bible, Genesis V.26:” And god said, let US make man in our image after our likeness…..27. So God created man in his own image, in the image of god created he him; male and female created he them.”

Isn’t it obvious that there was more than one god? ” Let US make man in our image”. If you read further through Ch. 2 of Genesis, it’s also obvious that these gods didn’t want Adam and Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. Ch.3.V.22: ” And the Lord God said, Behold man is become as one of US, to know good and evil…..”

Don’t people, preachers or whoever reads the bible notice that god was talking to another god? So, question is, why did the gods put the tree in the garden and forbid them to eat from it? I can only think of one reason and that was to test their loyalty. Remember, these gods designed humans to suit their purpose. They (gods) sent Adam and Eve out of the garden and man was never to be trusted again.

I’m amazed without words listening to ” god fearing”  Christians say they must PRAY, they must continue to do good to expel evil. This is what the preacher at the Sutherland church said the day of the shooting. Don’t they question why their god allows this to happen to them in the first place? When a reporter asked the Parish Priest where their god was, he fumbled and mumbled explaining their reward was in heaven.

For centuries, god fearing people have been worshipping these gods feeding them with their energy, paying to help build churches, and never questioning why they get nothing back?

What kind of feeling is that to feel helpless, depend on god for mercy and believe their life is a destiny their god chooses? I have so many questions for god believers of the bible and simply can’t understand how they don’t question their beliefs and existence of this god.

Genesis is very clear, not just in King James version but even in Mormon bible. ” Let US make man in our image”. What part of this do they not understand and choose to ignore?

The media claims the Texas shooter was an Atheist and that he wrote in social media that people who believe in god are stupid. I agree with him, but I surely would not go out and kill anyone for that. Also, I don’t believe the mainstream media, I believe this was a psych.op. So you may ask why? I have my thoughts on this one. The cabal doesn’t do shit like this for nothing. I think it’s because Trump brought God/Christ back to America. He infused his leadership with religion and subtly infusing the spirit of god into a population that has been slowly over the years been denied to say Merry Xmas or Happy Easter.

Ironically and sadistically, they program a loser to shoot people in a church to strengthen Christianity. I know this sounds ludicrous but it’s the same as programming losers to commit mass murders for the purpose of creating stricter gun laws.

Nobody can convince me that a supposedly mentally ill person can think rationally by putting on a bulletproof vest, organizing his weapons and bullets, pick out a location, drive to the church, get out of the car and within minutes shoot up a church. Mental illness is used very loosely, it’s like chronic pain. Where exactly is the pain? What mental illness did this man suffer from?

Something doesn’t add up and it will more than likely change stories over time just like the Las Vegas shooting.

But this blind faith is what amazes me. I had the same questions when I believed in the Catholic god. Why do people hurt me, god? I’m a good person, I haven’t done any harm to any other human being, so why do you punish me? What kind of loving god are you? When I asked my Catholic priest why, he quickly answered: ” God works in mysterious ways, we must suffer just like Jesus if we want a place in heaven”.

But for years I questioned this god because nothing made sense to me. Why bother being good when nothing good happened to me and it wasn’t until 1981 giving birth to my son and experiencing an NDE that I understood a bit more. It took another 10 years of studying and researching, seeking the truth that I was finally able to understand that religion is man-made and its agenda was to keep us from eating from the tree of knowledge.

We must never find out that god is Annunaki, that he created man to serve his agenda and so by using all means, methods, lies, and deceptions, they (the gods) didn’t want us to know who we really were. Maybe these gods were not the Annunaki, we have no definitive proof to tie them to the story in the bible, but it does mention the Nephilim (those that came from heaven to earth) and yet it’s not studied in churches. What happened to the Nephilim? Where are their descendants? After all, these giants mated with the women of earth.

I understand it’s very difficult to accept that the bible might be pure mythology, that it was designed to deceive us and keep us in fear. On the other hand, when I offer them to read the Gnostic gospels, they have no interest in doing so. Denial.

Religion is just one small segment of the deception to keep us dumbed down, but it’s also important because people give up their free will and power to this god. There are no bibles in the Catholic churches here. Why? Croatians are very intelligent people. 2/3 of our citizens have University Education. We are taught in Grade 3 all countries, capital cities ,basically, by the time we complete elementary school, we know more than high school graduates in Canada and the US. So, I think we would figure out the bible very quickly especially where it states: A preacher/elder must marry to serve as an example to his flock. Well, where did Celibacy come from? It came from the Canon Law but what their agenda was on this, I can’t say.

This religious revival in America is an attempt to keep people following god because more and more people are waking up and starting to question just like I did in my early years. They needed to create an Atheist to go on a shooting rampage to hit at the heart of religious people. It’s very simple when you take an objective look at it. A mentally ill man or someone who is angry and vengeful most likely isn’t going to drive to another county and target a church. He will go to the nearest church and take his avenge out at god. Why didn’t this guy shoot up his local church? Because, people that know him may have a different opinion about him. He assaulted his wife and stepchild? Hell, every 5th female in the world is assaulted by her partner, nothing new there. That doesn’t make them killers. Killers kill because of anger, frustration, hopelessness and because they have no value in life. Mentally ill people don’t drive to other locations and just shoot up a church unless there was someone in that church they hated and wanted to get rid of.

As a psychologist who left that useless system years ago, we can never know the whys because sometimes even the killer doesn’t understand why, may not be honest with us, may not be able to express, may not be able to recognize the difference between good and bad and right and wrong. I have treated many killers who had mental disorders and were left unchecked, so to say this man was mentally ill because he assaulted his ex-wife, that’s proof he’s been set up.

The terrorist in NYC was shot in the leg to keep him alive so that they could get more information. The ones that are shot dead are done so to keep them from telling the real story or remembering what was done to them. If the cops caught up with him, they didn’t need to kill him if he was sitting the car.

It’s all out war in America from terrorism, political bias and hatred, drug abuse, unhealthy diets and high rates of diabetes, heart disease. Let me not even count this madness of women coming forward after 30 years to say they were inapropriately touched. Give me a fucking break. 30 years ago it was not deemed inapropriate and I myself liked things like that. I liked when men whistled at me when I walked by. I liked when sitting in a bar, a good looking guy rubbed against my arm. But these women, without any consideration of the consequences, speak out now after 30 years or more and ruin the reputation of men that may have corrected their ways, cleaned up their acts, had successful careers.

As I predicted years ago, it gets worse before it gets better because people are not concerned about anything so long as they have something to eat and a roof over their heads. The people know something is wrong, but as one foreign diplomat said in a recent interview with Oxsana Boyko on Russia Today: ” America is crumbling under it’s own hypocrisy and like all overbloated empires it must collapse first and build a better nation based on lessons learned”.

As long as religion reverbiates through this current administration, the situation will continue because Atheism isn’t evil, it’s a choice between believing or not.

I’m sorry for all the good and innocent people killed but instead of blaming guns or gun laws or politicians, they should be blaming their own corrupt governments for being complicit in these events.

These women waited all these years when these men were competing for something. Isn’t it a bit odd that they waited until it was newsworthy? Shame on them for bringing the past into the present. It was OK to gently grab a woman by her tits 30 years ago. It was ok to brush up against her, it was the culture that it was. I’m not saying it was right, I’m just saying that we can’t punish someone for something that happened 30 years ago. Why didn’t they call the police? Why didn’t they tell someone? Some of these men may have changed their ways, may have never done anything like that, but we need to separate a crime from unethical behavior and not treat them the same way. It’s disgusting and as a woman, I am ashamed. If something happened to you 10 or 20 years ago, and you did nothing about it then, you don’t deserve any better because obviously, you had something to lose had you reported it. Most of these situations were careers that they didn’t want to lose so now after 30 or 40 years when their careers ended they come forward. It’s disgusting.

So, my partner is doing ok, we’re going to a specialist hospital in the capital of Zagreb on Monday to have him re-assessed but he’s passed the expiration date. Statistically they live 3 years after being diagnosed early. He was diagnosed in late stages and he is still here 4 years later.

Love you all.

Self Inflicted Victimhood

I’m sure everyone reading this post has heard or read about Weinstein Hollywood Mogul and his downfall. I’m not a feminist. I don’t believe feminism was designed for the greater good. I believe it was designed to break families apart and if we look at its beginnings and where we are today, there is nothing good to say about the movement. In fact, I have read some stories about the founding feminists who are now 40 years later regretful as they live alone, no children and not much to live for other than the cause that failed.

I believe that all humans should have the same rights, same access to health, same pay for the same work, but I don’t agree that a 5’4″ woman should be allowed to be a firefighter if she can’t carry her own load. Truth is, we are not equal.

The Mortal Man was designed to procreate. It was never intended for him to be with one woman. It is our culture and religious beliefs that have made the rules, but innately, man is not a one woman man, that’s  not his biological nature. It is said and I have read this in many places that women carry the burden of life by pregnancies, hormones and giving birth. I think that men have it harder because each moment of their lives are in a struggle to remain within man’s rules/god’s rules while his nature is to procreate. He’s in a constant struggle within himself to remain loyal while his body/nature wants to have sex with every woman he’s attracted to. I know it sounds horrible, but it’s who we are. Get over it.

We are not equal in our roles, our physical appearances or the way our brains function. Man’s innate role is to provide for the family because he’s stronger and braver. He is the protector, he is the strength for women to draw upon. Women are innately designed to take care of family, to be the nurturer, to give life and raise the children.

Man and woman cannot love only one person. Love isn’t chosen, it’s energy that connects two people. A man will often have a fling and tell his partner that he didn’t know what happened, that he loves his partner, that it didn’t mean anything. He was more than likely being honest, but our culture and religion demonizes man’s wanderings as if it’s a crime or sin. If you have read the bible or at least parts of it, men didn’t have just one wife. In fact, they had many wives and everyone lived together and got along. There were no priests or government agencies that required you to get a marriage license (permission). There were no rules. The only requirement was that a man could have as many wives as he wanted providing he could take care of them. Did you get that? TAKE CARE OF THEM.

Now, this doesn’t mean that I don’t believe women can be like men, I’m just saying that naturally, we are not equals in any way, shape or form. My daughter sometimes says that I’m old-fashioned. No, I’m not. This is not a trend we’re talking about. I don’t recall Creator making new body suits and changing our innate character and roles. You can’t take a natural form and twist its role or ability. You can’t take a man and force him to be loyal to one woman when he’s not biologically designed to be that way.

When I first met my partner 12 years ago, he was shocked when I told him that I would understand if he had a fling with another woman. Understanding the way men work, I could not FORBID him to go against his own nature. So, we try not to create conditions for them to do that. If a man is happy at home and his needs are met, there is less likely a chance they will wander, but I only wanted him to know this because I expected from him to be honest with me.

Weinstein. After saying what I said, let me start by saying this: There are no victims. Unless he’s forcefully raped a woman, there are no victims. These women chose their career over their own virtues therefore, they have nothing to complain about. I’m shocked at the experts and Mass Media pointing the finger at him as the bad guy. Sure, there are laws now that forbid that kind of behavior, but this would not have happened to these women had they walked out or refused. And if only a few woman did this, perhaps it may have changed the paradigm. So don’t come to me after 30 years and cry wolf just because YOU made a choice to allow this man to do things to you. YOU chose your career over your virtues and therefore, you have no right to complain. If he did rape you, report him to the police, but if you’ve managed to live with this all these years, I’m sure you found a way to deal with your own humiliation.

I’m sick and tired of women blaming men for everything that happens to them. Weinstein and other powerful men not only have power/money but are biologically designed to procreate. It is our choice whether to accept their behaviour or not. I’m sick and tired of every wrong being blamed on men and for every woman victim there is also a male victim. Males have now become victims to feminism and it’s no wonder they have gone AWOL (they became gay). No, not every male is gay because of this but I can bet you anything it has some role to play.

Everthing has been twisted and far removed us from our natural states, our innate truth. Adam and Eve didn’t get married, they didn’t promise anything to each other and in fact, I challenge anyone to find any evidence of a man and woman having to get permission to marry. It’s only when Christianity came into effect that changed the rules and turned men against women. Women have been downgraded, that’s true but that’s because feminine energy is powerful and it had to be subdued. In our reality, men and women should have equal rights, equal pay, equal respect but we are not equals in design and this is why we have so much divorce, so many broken relationships, destruction of the family unit, children that have different fathers. This is not normal or natural.

So, whenever you have an issue or need to find answers in this male/female relationship, look at the nature of it. Nature is true and correct. Men and men, women and women is not natural. It could be because of a hormonal imbalance, but you don’t need to have surgery to prove a point, just be who you are. If you’re a woman and feel you’re more of man, so be it, but you don’t need to go through that artificial process of becoming an artificial man, just be and feel who you are. Nature makes mistakes too, but it’s not natural to be with same sex people and I don’t give a damn whether you agree with that or not. Look at us. Did feminism, accepting homosexuality make us a better race? I think not. Has getting a marriage license and filing for divorce because a partner cheated on you change anything? No.

There was a book I read many years ago titled: “The Mortal Man”. Very interesting if you can find it because after you have read it, everything will make more sense.

Weinstein used his power and money to get what he wanted, but the women always had a choice. They could have said no, walked away or called the police. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!