The Eye of the Storm – Terminal Madness

I’m back but I’m not. It’s been a wonderful 2 months for me. The toxic energy of death was obvious after my partner passed away. The entire home took on another new revitalizing energy. With vigor, I threw out all the furniture and painted then replaced with new furniture, new colors, new energy. I sold my car and bought myself an Electric Scooter, I bought 2 bikes and tons of things for my recreation.
 For 2 weeks I detoxed, my body simply broke down and went into a healing crisis. Things showed up I never knew existed, but it was all part of the cleansing and healing process.
Even though I haven’t been writing at all, I have been online everyday listening to the Fake and Not So Fake News. Watching the Kavannaugh/Ford debacle was sad and I have a lot to say about that so this post will be a long one mixed with many subjects.
It’s a shame that with all the information and disinformation that a few very important issues were not brought up by ANYONE regarding Dr. Ford.
First, let me say that Politics doesn’t interest me in terms of discussing or writing about, unfortunately, I am forced to listen or watch during the News Hour; even though the Ford/Kavannaugh saga was all about politics, but a lot of the Media and those that took Dr. Ford’s side didn’t bring up the following issues, issues I think were just as relevant.
First let me start by saying that I am sharing my opinions with you and that doesn’t mean I’m right, but so far, I have not been wrong on anyone I have analyzed because of my uncanny ability to FEEL, even if it’s through the monitor, I can jump the time line effect and feel them. Remember, there is no such thing as past and future, all events happen in the moment.
Dr. Ford was never sexually abused. The experts who read and analyze body language, including myself will tell you that her body language was pure lies and acting a role of a feeble, weak, traumatized woman. She could never answer any questions without referring to her notes, which is enough proof that her role was practiced and memorized.
But, lets for a moment assume that Dr. Ford had experienced some form of trauma. As a Psychologist with a PhD; you would think that she would have healed herself after 35 years from the time of the event. How can a PhD Psychologist be a credible expert in working with clients/patients while she herself supposedly is ” still and currently” traumatized by an event that happened over 35 years ago? And if it’s not possible to heal someone with past trauma, why in hell do we spend years in University studying human behavior and getting a degree that can’t heal someone from a trauma and according to Dr. Ford, it wasn’t even sexual trauma. In other words, it wasn’t rape. It was someone putting a hand over your mouth and you thinking he would ” accidentally” kill you.
In her testimony before the Senate, she states:” He put his hand on my mouth and I was so afraid he might ACCIDENTALLY kill me”. Go back and listen to her testimony, yet NOBODY ever mentioned this very highly important message. How did she know he might accidentally kill her? This was a message to Kavannaugh. ” I’m sorry, you’re really a nice guy and would never hurt anyone, but you can’t win the nomination”.
The women defending Dr. Ford are not thinking about their partners, husbands, sons, brothers or any close males in their lives that could potentially be destroyed by a single accusation that can go back for years or decades. In fact, I hope that every woman that blindly defended Dr. Ford experiences everything B. Kavannaugh’s family just did.
Truth is, we don’t know the truth. We don’t know if Dr. Ford was traumatized, but the truth is that most of us did crazy things in high-school and college. Almost everyone, even the geeks did silly things during our teenage/puberty years. It was normal then, but today, no. Having a beer makes you  a serial rapist. Truth is that what was accepted as normal behavior 20 years ago, is not accepted today yet we demonize the past according to our current moral and social standards.
We don’t accept Slavery today, but why do we need to remove any Statues that were defined within different social and moral values? It was accepted then, it was a different age, a different mind set, a different culture. We can’t go back and erase it just because we don’t agree with it today. How stupid is that?
This ME TOO movement is nothing but an agenda to Emancipate men. As if women don’t have enough power today, we can now just accuse some male for assaulting us and ruin their lives without any proof because we are women and we should be believed. Really? Do you women actually realize how much power you have today? That you can manipulate your partner/husband and threaten them with calling the police if you don’t get your way? To say that women are not equals is true. We are extremely powerful and this power given to us is now causing more harm than good in society, well, in US Society. We don’t have those issues here in Europe. Although women consider themselves modern women, we still stand by our men and give them the ” male” power they deserve and as given to them biologically.
What is going on is the Terminal Madness I have been writing about for the last 3 years. Do a search on the blog and see for yourself if you didn’t start your journey with me together. There is plenty of information on Terminal Madness so, right now, we are in the ” eye of the storm” of this Terminal Madness.
This is not and never was about Politics. What political party or politician anywhere in the world works for the people? Politics, like religion both work towards stripping humanity of their dignity. Neither one allow humanity to think for itself.
If it’s not about Politics, what is it about then you may ask? I will answer the same way as I have since the inception of this blog.
We all chose to be here, in this reality, in many numerous lives/reincarnations to save this planet from imploding. To raise the vibrational reality, to take back control. In order to do this, we had to create the madness.
As I have written on numerous occasions, when we have the basics for life, we’re not motivated to change our circumstances. The Controllers of this reality are working very hard to keep us dumbed down, in the dark and keep us busy surviving. We can’t possibly fight the system so long as our lives are endurable, so we all; whether consciously or not, knowingly or not, create this madness in order to motivate us to fight. We’re not there yet, but this Terminal Madness is what we chose to experience, it’s all part of the plan as difficult as it is for us to accept this notion that we have created this and that includes the Politicians, the Deep State, Religion, every aspect of humanity is involved. There is no good or bad. There is only the ” experience” of freeing humanity from this Prison Planet.
Whatever you are doing now, is what you should be doing. Each one of us have a role to play, however insignificant you feel it is, it is what you came to do. Each one of us individually is but a drop of water, while together we create oceans, rivers, lakes and other forms of water bodies. There is no Ocean without the drops of water. It’s the drops mixed together that create the ocean and give it power to move, so as individuals joined together, we create the reality.
Dr. Ford was not traumatized, she chose to play that role because it’s not in the Interest of the Controllers that any Country experiences true Democracy – Demos – The People. Democracy is just another program such as Religion or other organizations that promote something for the betterment of humanity. As if we are stupid and ignorant and don’t know how to live our lives.
If you don’t believe me about Dr. Ford, do your research. Her entire past was scrubbed clean with more than likely ” Bleach Bit” before she set out to accuse the good man Kavannaugh.
If she was traumatized by someone, what the fuck is she doing, working as a Psychologist if she can’t heal 35 years of repressed or suppressed trauma after the so called event?
That insults me as a Psychologist, as someone who has lived through hell years of sexual abuse and trauma and to say that I’m still a victim and still traumatized?
The man that raped me at the time was 24 years old. I was 12 years old, but a very mature 12 year old who had a crush on an employee of my father’s business. It’s true that I wanted his attention, it’s true that I agreed to meet at my home with him when my parents were not home. It’s also true that I didn’t even think about sex, as a 12 year old, I just thought he might kiss me, that we would sit together, hold hands. You know the dreams we all have as young girl. Who thinks about having Sex at 12 in our current society? But it went beyond a kiss and I didn’t fight back, although it hurt a lot, I thought that must mean that he loves me. It’s the way my dysfunctional mind worked at the time, but that doesn’t make him innocent. He knew well what he was doing at 24.
Many years ago, I made a conscious choice. Also, it was the reason I studied Psychology, I was intrigued by my childhood and why people hurt the people they claim they love. But I made a conscious choice to keep it private from my children and people close to me years on later when the memories came back during an very stressful period in my life and I had experienced a complete nervous/mental breakdown. These memories resurfaced when I was 29 years old, 17 years later. In other words, I had no desire to report this man, my only focus was finishing my degree and getting better.
I always had a choice to come forward but I chose not to at the time for many reasons that I thought would serve me better. By this time I was also a single mother and many decisions had to be made based on what was best for me and my family. I did tell my mother when I turned 30, when I was well enough to talk to her about it, but she didn’t believe me and I thought: ” If my mother doesn’t believe, nobody else will either”.
Here are some reasons or logic to my decision:
1. 17 years had passed, this man married and had a family of his own. He made mistakes but we are all entitled to a 2nd chance, people change. Youth and the way we are raised all play a role in how men grow up.
2. I had a crush on him, he worked for my father, at the time I felt responsible for inviting him into my home when my parents were not present
3. Both of us acted irresponsibly, him more so than I as he was an adult and the act itself was Rape even though I didn’t say NO
4. 17 years later without any proof, it would be my word against him, my mother didn’t believe me
5. People change, they deserve another chance. Had I heard that he did it to someone else, I most likely would have spoken out
6. The outcome needed to be healing not revenge. I wanted to heal, to move forward, to forgive myself, to forgive him
7. Even if I was to come forward after so many years, it wouldn’t change anything in my life and would destroy his even if he was found not guilty.
I didn’t want revenge. I wanted to be a Good Psychologist, I wanted to heal and to use my experiences as an abused child to help others. My attitude at the time was that I needed to be well, so that I could raise my children. Revenge was the last thing on my mind. It was more important for me to heal and move forward, to forgive and I did that.
What would I accomplish now, coming forward after almost 50 years?  Is this what the ME TOO movement is about?
Most of the women who came forward had a choice just like me to speak out and report the abuse/allegations right away but most of them chose not to because their JOBS or CAREERS were at stake.
We don’t have to come forward if we choose not to. But if we chose to stay silent, then we should think about the damage we may cause 10, 20, 30 or more years later.
This is not so much about revenge as it is about healing. I’m not talking about Serial Rapists or men who rape using violence. I’m talking about men with power, I’m talking about all the women that came forward decades later that didn’t use the word ” rape” or ” violence” rather used ” inappropriate sexual behavior“.
If Bill Cosby’s women came forward right away, perhaps he wouldn’t have made a career of using women as sex toys, despite over 50 women coming forward, I don’t recall any of them using words such as ” rape” or ” violence”. He wasn’t accused of raping any women, he used his power to intimidate them into having sex with him. He didn’t force them at gunpoint, he threatened their careers and these women chose their Careers over their own dignity.
Weinstein and Cosby are angry. They know just like I do that their women chose their careers and consented to the sex albeit not willingly or desiring it, but they always had a choice.
I don’t have an issue with coming forward, I have an issue coming forward after decades to accuse someone of inappropriate behavior that we consider to be today, yet 30 years ago, we accepted being slapped on the ass, we took it as compliment. Any woman that says otherwise is more than likely a Feminist. It is how it was. Things were different in my youth. Men whistled at me when I walked by. Men did little gestures in a nightclub to get my attention. It was almost a cult in the 70’s to have a one night stand, we didn’t have the violence and rape we have today. So to say that something that was accepted 30 years ago is now not accepted is just crazy.
So, Dr. Ford, supposedly a very good Psychologist with a PhD sat in front of the Committee acting out this terrified and traumatized victim of an event that she could not remember much about but was SURE 100% that her assailant was now Supreme Court Justice Kavannaugh. She’s a fucking Psychologist for Christ’s Sake and she couldn’t help herself; yet she teaches Self Hypnosis? Give me a break, only in America can something like this be believed and accepted as truth.
I don’t mean to pick on Americans, but most of them have to be under the influence of some psychotic substance or some kind of mind control through cell towers or frequencies. I’m not saying everyone is Psychotic either; but guys, do you have any idea how “Dumb” and ” brainwashed”  you sound, believing or even considering that Dr. Ford is the victim here? You’re all victims of some mind control, it’s like you’re in a different reality.
Perhaps, I’m in a different reality. I often feel that way. I feel that I am no longer part of this insane madness. My world is not this world. Nothing in this reality makes any sense whatsoever.
Oh my beautiful human race, have you no idea how powerful you are and how they fear you? Stand up and take control. For starters, get rid of your cellphones, they are your mind control mechanisms, they are using the phones to zap you with frequencies to make you angry, violent and aggressive. I am sad for you, I feel like an entire nation is dying off and is about to self destruct. Could this be a replay of Atlantis again? Remember, you always have a choice. You are here to do the work, you and I created this reality, don’t blame anyone else.
As I write often, this has to happen. Didn’t I tell you that it would get worse? Oh boy, we’re not even half way there and I”m still feeling what I wrote 2 years ago. I fear that the US will be attacked by a foreign entity/nation. What Trump is now doing is taking humanity to the brink. There is nothing wrong with America first, but there is everything wrong with ” nobody else can be first”. We are treading in dangerous waters but hey, we all chose this movie to play and act out. It will be interesting what the screenplay says for next year.
No no, no Ascension, no Lords, no Saviors, no Aliens or Blue Avians. Simon Parkes just thanked his followers for donations because he was sick and actually said how great it was to eat ” Organic chocolate”. Can you imagine that? Not only does he live on donations from his cult followers, but he gets to enjoy ” Organic Chocolate”. What a fucking loser and what fucking idiots to believe anything this guy has to say. No, there is no KNOWN future to predict. We do that as we go along. I wrote and have been writing from day one of this blog that there is no Savior, that we are our own Saviors. The Simon Parkes and all the other GURU’s have come and gone, still keep spewing shit to the dumbed down followers because their egos are so big they actually think they are special and that a Savior will come and save us all.
No, no my dear readers. YOU are the Light. YOU SOUL have chosen this reality, YOU old Soul are more powerful than you know.
We keep seeking truth externally. The truth lies within this body, at the core of SELF is SOUL. The SOUL knows why it’s here in this body, the entire play is written, but we have been programmed to look outwardly, therefore, the end result is now this Terminal Madness. As always, I will continue to share, it may not be often and my topics will now vary, whatever it is that I am feeling for the day.
Be strong, be faithful to yourself, seek truth internally, the external world is merely a projection of your thoughts. And if you choose to give up your cellphones, read up on some Seth Speaks. Seth quite eloquently describes humans and how our reality is created. I like to listen on YT so I’m not stuck sitting down.
Much love!
Advertisements

One thought on “The Eye of the Storm – Terminal Madness

Your thoughts are welcome!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s