Am I Still Here?

I know you must be thinking what direction I have gone after writing the last post about ‘saving animals’. I never had a specific direction for this blog, it was always for sharing my journey and lessons learned on that journey.

I find it very difficult to write about much lately. Not because I don’t have opinions or that I don’t keep up with what is going on. I simply don’t hold on to anything I see, hear or feel. I’ve become the observer and believe me, it takes more time than anything else in my day. Instead of doing all day long or thinking what I should be doing, I’m now just quickly getting things done I know have to be done. We have to eat, wear clean clothes and have a clean place to eat and sleep. These things I get done first thing in the day so that I have the rest of the day to just BE.

I’m blessed with such a life that I can do that. I have left the mainstream or civilization behind 13 years ago and have already forgotten what it was like being woken up by my alarm clock so that I could get dressed, grab a coffee and stress out about getting to my business appointments for the day. The last 10 years before leaving Croatia, I didn’t work for anyone. I worked on contract as a consultant so I didn’t have regulated hours to work. I simply agreed on a job and time it would be completed. I could choose to work 20 hrs per day and get it done in a week or work 5 hours and get it done in 3 weeks. I still had to get up, get to the project, work with people, worry about getting the work done, paying the bills, etc. I forgot about that already.

My humble home in the countryside.

My life consists of just being. I have no time or deadlines, no alarm clock, in fact I have to look at the calendar everyday to remind myself if I have clients and what time I need to be ready for them. I can choose to take clients, I can choose to work in the garden all day. I don’t have to wake up at a certain time and my partner graciously accepts lunch whenever it’s ready.

Here in Croatia, our big meal is the lunch meal. We go through great lengths at preparing this meal. I’m the exception to the rule for having a Microwave. I use it to warm up coffee and defrost. We cook from scratch, ready meals are just now entering our market and are not affordable for most people.

The average wages in Croatia work out to be about $500 a month. We pay $2.00 a liter for gasoline. People barely get by and most of them have a side job or grow something to save money.

Most of the population here on the island arise very early because they have vineyards, olive groves or other agriculture. In the summer, they are already in the fields by 5 a.m. because it gets too hot to work by 11 a.m. They come home and have a snack/marenda until lunch. After lunch, we take an afternoon nap because between 1 pm and 4 pm it’s too  hot to do anything. Most people think that certain cultures take siestas because they are lazy. It’s not true. We take siestas because it’s too hot to work. In the Mediterranean region 30 C can be like 40 C in Vancouver. It’s an arid heat but the island population always gets a wind or breeze to keep air flowing.


This time of year we don’t work in the garden. Some will go out early in the morning before it gets hot; I go out about 6 p.m. and just water the plants. While everyone is having their siesta, I choose to go to ocean and find a shady spot under a pine tree and read or just observe the ocean. There are very few people out at this time of day, even tourists shy away from the deadly summer heat and this is the time when I enjoy it the most. I might sit at the edge of the pier and soak my feet for a while or look for edible sea shells that stick to the rocks. There is always something to do. Pretty soon I can start gathering wild garlic and leeks that grow along the cliff edges of the ocean.


In October wild mushrooms grow in the greener parts of the island. We have over 70 different varieties of mushrooms but only a few are edible. In Feb/Mar. wild asparagus grows all over the place. I’m so lucky to live here, tucked away from the peeping eyes of civilization yet I can see the coastal city from my balcony. It’s a 40 min. ferry sail to the city. I travel there less and less these days because I can’t stand being around people, they are not part of my reality anymore, I can’t deal with their negativity and still in the old reality. The cafes are packed but you don’t hear anyone talking. Everyone at the table is glued to their their cellphone, very sad.

What is there to write about? Our reality is crumbling as planned, we are doing a great job of distorting it through false and fake media, but this is the plan. How am I going to piss you off if I don’t step on your new shoes a few times? How is humanity going to wake up and start doing something unless they have motive or reason to do so? We act when things get bad or rough. We come together after mass murders, tornadoes, earthquakes. We only come together when we shed tears because we’ve lost something. When everything is good, we go on with our lives. The bad stuff is ignored if it’s far away. Because we’re so separated spiritually, what is not in our proximity doesn’t affect us. We only react when it’s next door or in our cities. While a child dies every second from hunger, we go on with our lives because it’s not happening close to us.

So, in order to take action, we have to lose something. In order to finally get up and start doing something, we have to be affected personally. It’s our human nature in a way because we’re possessive. What is ours has emotion. What is not ours, doesn’t affect us. We are possessive of our family and loved ones but those across the ocean don’t affect us because it’s too far away and unreal. We come together in disasters, and it will take some kind of disaster before humanity finally does something.

What we are doing now is CREATING those disasters. We didn’t all come here to save the planet. Some of us had to be the destroyers, the dividers, the liars, the deceivers. Those that are destroying made that agreement to do so. Even the Cabal or Elite. They too were created by Creator and so they too are here for a purpose, to make our lives hell so that we can finally wake up and do something about it.

This is why I have nothing much to write about other than my observations. When you become the observer, you are no longer attached to what you see or hear or feel. For instance, you may see a wilting flower and think: “Oh that poor flower is dying”. I think: “The flower is wilting”. I think what I see, I don’t form opinions or thoughts because it doesn’t serve me in any way. I know why the flower is wilting, but I don’t need to dwell on that anymore, nature is doing what it should be doing, I’m focused on just BEING because when the shit hits the fan, I have to continue to BE in that chaos when everyone is in panic mode, running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I am going to be the one that will calm them down, help them think clearly, focus on what they need to do.

I asked my higher self what I am doing here. It answered: “You are here to just shine the light”. So, I’m shining the light on those that need and ask for it. I observe nature because it’s within  my nature to feel and experience everything that a flower does or rock does or tree does. We are all made up of the same atoms and molecules, just take different shape and different DNA codes. We were created out of nothing and we depart this reality without anything other than our memories of this experience. This will be the last time that our memories were blocked. It was an experiment that went bad. Originally, we were to agree to not remembering so that we could find our way home and figure out who we were. The experiment went wrong, really wrong. The dark entered into this reality knowing our memories were blocked and created a reality for us to believe. How else could we be so deceived if we didn’t know or remember who we are?

The other reason why we agreed to have our memories blocked was because we knew we were going into battle and that it would be difficult. If we knew who we were and how to use our power, do you think any of us would stick around in this madness?

A patient once asked Edgar Cayce while having a life reading done why we don’t remember our past lives. Cayce said: “Do you think you could live with yourself if you knew you killed in past lives? This man was suffering from chronic pain in his kidney area. Medicine could not figure out what was wrong despite having all the possible tests done. Cayce regressed the man and found out that he had been in battle and was stabbed by a sword in the kidney and died. This man had killed many people in that past life. Imagine if you were Sulejman the Great, the great Turkish Sultan who’s dynasty ruled from the 13th to 16th century,  who personally decapitated hundreds of people? Could you live with yourself in this lifetime? I doubt it.. For that reason we agreed to have our memories blocked. None of us would stick around for this had we remembered and if we remembered then we know how to get home. We know that death is not the end, we could do whatever necessary to leave this reality.

Without our memories, they could do anything they wanted to. They used this weakness we agreed to to manipulate our reality. We can’t blame them for that because we have no memories. They knew our weakness, they knew our purpose, they knew why we came here and they used this against us. It’s the same as being blind. I can bring you to the edge of the cliff and tell you to take another step. You would just drop down into the abyss. I could walk you around in circles all day long and you’d never know this because you don’t see where you’re going. We might as well be blind because what we see is not the reality we want. It’s difficult to accept the concept of us, Souls agreeing to come here, knowing what we would be doing. We know the outcome. Remember there is no such thing as time. This linear time reality was also created for us to think that we can go forwards or backwards. Everything happens at the same time. The outcome is known, but we don’t remember. If you’re in touch with your higher self, you might get a glimpse of it all like I do, but there is so much interference from dark spirits that we don’t know if we are getting the correct information. The Archons and other dark entities are blocking all our connections to source and to each other. The frequencies they generate through HAARP and other technologies are designed to block any signals. Our antennas work but they can’t get a signal, if we do, it’s short and rare. I know this because it’s getting harder to connect to my higher self and since my partner brought the TV into the bedroom, it’s now impossible. A few times a week I sleep in the guestroom because I’m affected by the frequencies and can’t go into my dream time sleep where I can leave the body and go into other realities. There are mornings when I wake up feeling like crap and this is usually when the TV is on all night. My partner was never a sound sleeper. He sleeps for an hour then watches TV for an hour. Luckily I’m a sound sleeper but the energies are really affecting me lately so I sleep in the guest room. It was a choice we both had to make. “You either take out the TV or I will sleep in the guest room”. No hard feelings. He’s happy with his TV and I’m happy without the dangerous frequencies.

Last night I saw a sight I had never seen in my life. My cellphone was dead so I could not photograph it but the sunset was riddled with chem-trails. It was like a checkerboard and really scary. They do this every day at sunset but last night was the worse and I am sure they are hiding something. Why focus on the sun? Even during the day they spray in front of the sun as if they want to hide something. Tonight at sunset even just looking at the sun, it burned my eyesight and it took a few hours for the white spots to disappear.

Do you know what I had for dinner? 2 freshly picked cucumbers cubed, feta cheese and sour cream with chives. Welcome to my world, am I still here in your reality? I haven’t seen many comments or likes. Am I still here? Are you still out there?

Love and peace my friends.


7 thoughts on “Am I Still Here?

  1. Wonderful to see your beautiful island and where you go.
    I do a daily thread on all the Nibiru, 2nd sun etc. videos and articles that I gather. Lots of videos from Croatia. I really think this is part of the reason for the chems. I actually did see and took a few pics of 2 suns. Quite amazing to finally see this in person. Much LOVE to you Ines! Hope you and yours are doing well and keep on enjoying the BEing. xox


  2. I have been in a period of massive change for almost three months… I’m reading every post and thankful for them, as your writings have been such a help and inspiration over the years.


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