Written by one of my readers: Maria Peterson. Thank you Maria!
Your mother was your first “God” or Source.
Psychoanalyst Winnicott theory emphasizes how a mother’s responsiveness to the baby’s needs determines the quality of a separate individual. According to him the quality and nuances of adult subjectivity and the subtleties of mother-infant interactions provided a powerful perspective for viewing both the development of the self and the analytic process.
In the beginning, the infant believes that his or her needs and wishes emerges from the integrated drift of consciousness or subjective omnipotence. If the baby is hungry then he makes it happen by crying and the mother’s breast would appear, thinking that he created the breast or the object of his desire. The mother overall “brings the world” to the baby and her responsiveness is what gives him the “moment of illusion”. The mother is in charge giving the baby a holding environment which is a physical or psychological space.
The mother doesn’t have to attend the infant’s needs all the time. In matter of fact, after the mother regains her sense of self after temporary suspension of subjectivity, the infants notice the “failure” of the mother to “bring the world to him”. It’s somehow painful and disappointing for the baby to experience. Technically the baby depended on the mother but for the first time he realizes the *feelings* associated with dependency. The baby also realizes that others have their own desires and wishes and must depend on those people fulfill them. Self-awareness is born.
Psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut stated that the narcissistic experience begins with the infant’s blissful state, which is inevitably upset or disturbed by the expectable failure of its mother’s ministrations after the mother naturally retains her self-awareness again; leaving the child alone for long period of times.
The infant finally understands the difference between subjective omnipotence and objective reality but most couldn’t cope with the reality.
The infant then tries to restore the disruptions by creating two systems of “narcissistic perfection”. The infant first creates a world where everything is pleasant and good within the self and everything outside is bad and dangerous. Kohut states how this is the beginning of the development of the “narcissistic self”. The child creates another system where he attempts to restore the pleasant and good feelings by projecting it onto someone else, creating a “perfect” object (i.e. priests, gurus, etc.).
Plea-ideans represent your “perfect” self- objects.
Most people usually search or found their “perfect” object in religious or spiritual institutions like churches, temples, mosques or ashrams; to cope with their psychological “disturbance” from being separated physically and or emotionally from the mother. Some also use objects to continuously express their “moments of illusions” by using objects like rosaries, angel cards by Doreen Virtue (lol!), crosses, crystals, pictures of a deity, statues, bibles, dolls, etc. to feed their unmet narcissistic needs.
Religion (and by the way the definition of religion varies and everyone is “religious”) is a cultural object and people use it to deal with things they cannot control in their lives. According to the Introduction from the book Going into Pieces Without Falling Apart, the problem is that we have not learned how to give up control of ourselves.
Gurus, spiritual teachings, angels, star-beings, Buddha, Jesus, etc. are cultural objects that can “help” the “religious” deal with everyday issues by creating “moments of illusion”. They are basically pacifying through life with these objects,.
During “moments of illusion” the person believes that prayer, worship, etc. connects with God/Source…or the mother. They gain faith/hope/etc. but not a healthy dose of objective reality.
Most religious people are afraid of the unknown or feelings of emptiness and believe it can be healed through religion. My question is that can you handle emptiness? Through the object of meditation (based on Theravada Buddhism), the person can connect with feelings of emptiness, imperfections and regrets without self-judgement.
But in other religions like Christianity and yes, New Age the person can’t get pass the failure of the mother or God. They say that “God is in control” but life situations happen because that is the power of cause and effect so the desire to control should be released through acceptance.
Also, you state that reality is toxic but are you being objective enough? Radically self-honest? Most of those neo-“Gnostic” teachings that explains about Archons and the dangers of reincarnation (which I by the way don’t believe in…I only believe in rebirth) are very messed up, it throws people off but for some it gives them more “meaning” as human beings striving to “do better” (basically by isolating themselves from the world) but viewing reality of toxic or Earth as a “error” influenced by the fall of Sophia is definitely not going to help society nor the individual. People are very attached to ideas that don’t make up enough objective reality.