It’s Not Always What you Think

There are two people that I want to write about. Although the events that happened in their lives happened a few months ago, it took me some time to put my thoughts together on them. Ken O’Keefe and Zen Gardner.

Ken is/was someone whom I admired very much, not because of the person that he was, what he looked like or his past accomplishments but because of the way he spoke out so passionately about wars and the unjust actions of Israel. I enjoyed listening to him on Press TV and RT News. It was by accident that I stumbled upon an interview with Richie Allen that shocked the hell out of me. Whether or not Ken committed a crime or stole money that he had acquired through Source Funding is not something I can comment on, only Ken knows the truth, but what really shocked me was the way he attacked Richie and refused to give straightforward answers. My feeling is that Ken was not telling the truth. Psychopaths go on the attack when being questioned let alone accused of something. Richie never once accused him of anything, the purpose of the interview was to ask him questions that others had put forth. I feel for Ken, I can feel his anger over lifetimes in that interview and it’s just sad that he had to respond the way he did because he lost all credibility in my eyes. It’s not important to me whether he did what he was being accused of, I have no right to judge him, if he did do what some are accusing him of, that is Ken’s karma and he has to deal with it, but his methodology of responding to questions to me was an outright admission of guilt by attacking Richie. I hope that Ken will find a way to deal with his anger and pain one day, I truly feel for the guy. Whether he’s guilty or not is not for us to judge, it’s for Ken to live with and deal with consequences. I could feel many lives of violence and being violent in Ken’s energy, thus logical that he has not yet dealt with it in this lifetime and it has accumulated. Perhaps this is why he is so angry because it goes so far back into many past lives. Ken is a very damaged soul and I sure hope that he will find a way to heal one day otherwise he will keep repeating this cycle of life and death with violence until he has come to terms with his anger and guilt. In any case, we should never judge anyone based on the way they look or the way they speak, what hides behind the face or heart can be something totally different.


As for Zen Gardner. Wow, that was a shock when I attempted to visit his website and found it was no longer active. After googling him, I came across information, attacks, accusations and interviews about him being involved in some cult. Again, I don’t know if Zen was aware that there was some bad stuff going on, and even if he did know, does he not have the right to start over and make a new beginning? Have we not all made mistakes and how do we measure the severity of sexual abuse with lying or embezzling money? Is that not causing harm upon someone? How do we define a horrific crime and according to whom is that definition defined to be a horrific crime? What I am trying to say is that even if Zen did know there was sexual abuse or whatever involved in the cult, are we to crucify him because he didn’t say anything or do you consider that to be just as bad as performing the act itself? Who determines which is less evil than the other?
I don’t know Zen, just like I don’t know Ken but their actions should not be judged by us and if we are to make a better world, a better place to live, is it not upon us to forgive and move on?

Zen was my daily inspiration, I often re-posted  his work because it was empowering and gave me new perspectives. Often, his work was very similar to mine because his message was always about becoming better and freeing ourselves from the Matrix. I am saddened that he has  just shut everything down because of a few people that couldn’t forgive and let go. I read some attacks on him and they were so bad I wondered how that person that wrote such a scathing attack on Zen considered himself to be better than Zen even if he did do something wrong? The attacker said some horrible things and that alone is a crime of conscience to judge someone you have never met or spoken to.

I have made many mistakes in my life. I have hurt many people in this lifetime. The mistakes were never intentional, just poor judgement or wrong choices. I never hurt anyone intentionally, it was my traumatic past that collected a lot of anger and rage over the years and it just so happens we vent on the people we love the most. Does this make me a bad person? Even if I was a bad person, does that mean that I should be branded for the rest of my life because of the mistakes I made?

In self awareness, it brings about a new perspective about our lives and our purpose here. We claim to be aware and enlightened yet the moment one of us makes a mistake, we instantly attack them for their mistakes. This doesn’t make us any better than themselves. For years now I have written about people that I suspected were not authentic in their work, but I have always tried to be objective and not attack them or call them names. I think that it’s important to bring out the worse in people in order to expose what they are doing for the purpose of not hurting others but not to punish them because we feel we have that right. Remember, we are all here as actors in a play. Each one of us have a specific role and that role is not always being the good guy. Some of us had to be bad, murderers, tyrants, whatever, in order to bring out the good we have to create bad situations.

I often write about creating chaos in order to seek peace. If we lived in a perfect world there would be no need to seek a better one. If everyone was happy and expressing love, we would not think of creating a happier one. Humans are funny that way. We can live modestly and be happy, we don’t need a whole lot to be happy. Most of us are content with a roof over our heads, food on the table and surrounded by family, anything more is a bonus. The moment the neighbor gets a better TV, we want one too. We judge one another by material wealth and not by the strength of our hearts or size of our hearts. How can we want a better world if we are perfectly happy with the one we have? In order to create a new paradigm, we had to create chaos and madness. This is what the plan was before we came here. Ken has his role to play; so does Zen, we may not like what they did or didn’t do, but we must also remember that none of us are perfect and at times forget that the world doesn’t center around us alone and that we are just a small part of the whole.

I feel that Zen Gardner has already started over under a new name because Zen is not his real name anyways. He has so much to give to humanity and perhaps the lessons he learned or the pain he experienced in that cult made him the person he is today. I hope I can find him again and continue being mesmerized by his very empowering essays.

Life is what we make it. It is our responsibility to make this place a better one. We gave power to those that control us. Whether we knew this or not, we did give it to them and we must now take it back. Ken plays his part, Zen plays his part, I play my part and you old soul play your part as well.

This reminds me of the Christian dogma that although God created man in his image, he will punish him for his mistakes. Punishing man is such a contradiction to the creation of man in god’s image and is like god punishing himself. You can’t create perfection and then punish it for not being perfect. This is the duality and dogma of what we became and the belief systems implanted in us. We are all ONE. If I punish you or speak badly towards you, I am speaking badly to myself. We are reflections of one another and this cycle of self-infliction has to stop. How do we stop? We stop hurting others because we hurt ourselves at the same time. If we are ONE, we must behave in a loving way towards everyone regardless of the role they play in this reality. This is difficult to comprehend if you think of yourself as a human first, but this is why  we are here, to remember who we are and to make the changes necessary.

All is well, the play must go on!


6 thoughts on “It’s Not Always What you Think

  1. I miss Zen / Don also. His site was usually one of my first stops in the morning last stops at night. Zen did not handle things maybe like he should have could have. He seemed defeated from the get.
    Ken came out swinging when Max Igan came at him. He held his own.
    Zen posted a few articles, did a couple of CCN interviews that came off insincere, then closed up shop.
    My thought is there was many missing pieces in the whole thing.
    But I have no doubt that he will reemerge. I wonder if we will recognize his style? 🙂


    • It is very easy to create a profile online so long as you don’t show your face, you can be anyone you want. Once you have shown your face, you have built up a following, one mistake will cost you. We are strange beings. We will blindly follow anyone that will lead us but the moment they make a mistake we attack like vicious animals. In a way I can understand such personalities that like to remain invisible but at the same time, I question why the need to hide your identity? I think that Zen will not stop doing what he does, his work was very empowering and perhaps needs time to rest from the poisons thrown at him. If not, we lost nothing and gained much from him and the experience.


  2. I’m not familiar with Ken O’Keefe but I quit reading Zen Gardener a few years ago. At first, some of the articles were interesting but over time, they started to seem superficial and vague. Especially Zen/Don’s articles. I also got a holier than thou vibe from him. And his followers seemed cultish to me, similar to Jean Haines’ followers.


    • Also,with regard to Children of God/The Family International (the group Zen Gardener was supposedly a part of for 27 years), I had read quite a bit about them before the ZG expose, pretty twisted stuff. In particular, what happened with Ricky Rodriguez is purely tragic. Here are a coupe links, if interested, And this one. Warning: highly disturbing. There is also a video of ex COG members at Ricky’s funeral discussing their own experiences. Unfortunately I don’t have a link.


      • Thanks will check it out. I didn’t do much research because in the end, nothing changes until these people deal with their own issues. We are all born into this world pure and something in our life changes us, we become our own worst enemy. Karma is a bitch though.


    • I agree with you about the cultish thing. People start cults because they need energy to feed on. I hate to say this but it’s all recorded in this blog anyways that the reason I left Jean’s blog was for that reason. Anyone loyal to her would viciously attack you if you said something they didn’t agree with, Jean would attack you too if it didn’t fit into her perspective. I should have recorded all those comments I contributed to about certain people that she admired yet have been since exposed; being open minded is fundamental to any type of reporting or blog writing. Yes, we have a right to our thoughts and opinions, but I can guarantee you that I have NEVER insulted or attacked anyone for having different views from me, in fact, I thank them for their contribution because I’m not a researcher, I’m an intuitive and use that to feel whether a person is legitimate or not and then later bring the information to back up my intuitive feelings. So far, I have not been wrong and or nobody has challenged me either. That doesn’t make me right, I think that we all have different reasons for being here so it’s useless to say that your views or not correct or that mine are. Jean is very ill and personally, I would not do what she does. I would close shop and take care of my body first. Anyone that is willing to destroy their health for a ’cause’ is not well emotionally. We should be our first priority. Period. Just my 2 cents worth!


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