Creating is fun. We go through our entires lives believing that destiny and chance is our life, that we keep incarnating to learn something or that we absolutely have no control over anything. We do incarnate, but not because of the cause and effect of what we experienced in previous lives, rather, it’s part of the game we come to play because we can’t experience everything in one lifetime.
Although I have always been a non-conformist, I could never fit in, or at least I felt that way though whatever I did in this life, it was the best. I never felt like I was part of this civilization, I felt like a stranger, an outsider.
People enjoyed being around me because I didn’t like to focus on current problems, I dreamed out loud about how I wanted the world to be. Although I was never ‘religious’, I did believe in god so I didn’t question the existence of creator, but I questioned why he gave to some and took away from others. It made no sense. How does god determine who gets what they pray for and who doesn’t? How does he do that and how can he be in many places at once?
The biggest mystery for me was why God was punishing me when I did nothing wrong. Sure, I grew up, I made mistakes, bad choices, wrong decisions but they were about MY life, I didn’t hurt anyone but myself and yet so many bad things kept happening to me.
We grow into adults filled with our parents fears and inadequacies. They project their unfulfilled dreams onto us, at least my parents did to me, wanting for us a better life. Boy did I carry the shitload of guilt around. When my parents argued over money (lack of), I felt guilty and blamed myself for existing, after all, if it wasn’t for me, they would have one mouth less to feed.
My mother was the master programmer/manipulator. She once came into my bedroom with a knife pointed at her throat and threatened to kill herself if I didn’t obey my father. She was desperate, afraid and that’s all she knew, but at the time, she damaged me.
Isn’t it enough that some of us have to deal with our shitty childhood? That alone takes a lifetime to work through if you’re even aware that you have a problem/issues.
Most people go through their entire life not even understanding the mysteries of their gods.
They will quote the entire bible because they studied it yet when they go to sleep at night, they pray “please god, if you exist then hear my prayer”. That alone proves they know nothing about god because their bible is so full of contradictions yet they memorize entire chapters, not making any sense of it.
I wonder how many lifetimes I had to experience to finally learn that I am an eternal soul, motivated by Creator to experience? And now that I think I got it all figured out, I want to rewind time and start over because I’m afraid I simply don’t have enough years left to create all that I want to experience.
At first I was angry for finding out so late in this life that most of it was based on deception and lies. I spent 40 years believing that I was in control of my life through positive thinking not realizing it was my fantasizing/visualizing before falling asleep that was creating my reality. I didn’t know the power in me, I had no idea I was creating everything.
How many people today still have no clue that every thought they focused on manifested? And when I talk about this, why do most people refuse to accept the possibility they created their life and whether they did it knowingly or unknowingly, they have to own up to it yet refuse to believe how powerful they are?
What has become to humans that they refuse to consider the possibility they are creators, to refuse that power, to deny it, to reject any chance of taking charge? Nothing has to change, you simply stop looking back into what was and start learning how to create a life that you want.
But no, these people prefer to be victims, blame their external environment for all the bad things and for the things they do like, they call it luck. Perhaps, it’s because they feel their life is like russian roulette, or god decides their fate. Whatever it is, they do not feel they are in charge.
I must admit I didn’t just wake up one morning and thought to myself: “I am creator of my reality”. It took a while to absorb that power. It’s a fine line of controlling the ego and remaining humble about it. Strange thing is that when I finally completely understood the power to create, I realized that I already had everything I wanted.
Somewhere along the way, I was already unconsciously creating my reality without focusing on the process because it is a process. The brain must first analyze the data and accept it or not, if you’re open to new possibilities the brain will accept it but if you’re stuck in a religion or some new age ideology it might not be so easy. In fact, some will reject it because they prefer ‘god’ doing the work for them IF he ever gets time to do it.
Once it becomes deeply ingrained into me, panic sets in. I find myself wanting to be alone without distractions because I must control my thoughts, afraid of thinking something detrimental to me or not for my benefit. This process lasted a few weeks by thinking-tossing out, thinking-keeping until it almost becomes automatic.
It’s fine when I’m alone, but when around people especially ones that focus on their problems I get nervous because now their stories become part of my thought process. Will it affect me? Will I bring a flood into my kitchen by talking about a flood someone else experienced?
You almost become obsessed with controlling thoughts. Think-toss out, think-keep all day long, but what about the ones I missed while answering phone or helping my partner get into clean pyjamas listening to him moan and groan while I think: “I’m tired of this shit, I didn’t sign up for taking care of a sick man”. Did I create something unwillingly?
So this obsession passes and guess what? I start experiencing emptiness. I think it’s called “brain farts”, the mind is so afraid to think it doesn’t think at all. Instead of this: “Look at the dust it’s all over the furniture”, I now think: “Dust, home, wonderful”. I finally became the observer.
By only observing and not giving it power, I won’t manifest it further. We get what we think. It’s wrong to say we get what we want. We get what we think and focus on. I don’t like dust, therefore, if I focus on it, I will see it all the time. The dust will continue to build up, but I don’t see it because it’s no longer part of my reality.
Creating consciously is a process we have to go through. It’s easy to write about, but my experience helped me understand that the wiring needs to be unwired, old wires tossed out and if need be, replace them with new wires or re-wire the system. It’s kind of like an old house you just bought. There are some things/decor that age with time but blend into the decoration, but there are things that simply stick out like a sore thumb and need to be demolished completely. Mixing the old with the new but with resonance. After all, we are vibration and light, each one of us are wired with a unique frequency signature, each one of us experience a process in different way but I can assure you, you will not wake up one morning and just start creating, it doesn’t work that way.
This is the time of ‘year’ to start thinking about the new one arriving.. The construct of time that we live in has benefits because we can plan out what we want in front of us. Take this year 2016 and start writing down what you don’t want and what you want to happen for you personally. Before we can create outwards and externally, we need to create our personal life. This alone will take several lifetimes to figure out, all depending on your religious background, indoctrination, the way your parents raised you, education you chose to waste time on, etc.
It is possible, very possible, but the most difficult part of the process is similar to an addict. We first have to admit that we ARE powerful and that we CAN create our reality. Once we accept that, truly believe that, we then start creating simple things.
If you’re not sure yet, if you still think that the world was created without your knowledge or consent, then start thinking about it. You see, we are all here for a purpose, nothing is coincidence, whatever we are experiencing now is what we created together. Knowing this changes your entire perspective, instead of feeling the violence and madness, you start realizing it’s part of the play we as actors came to play.
You old soul are a creative god, no other race or live entity outside our 3D reality has the power to create by thought alone. This is what happens when we have this freedom but not the knowledge or memory of it. We will eventually figure it out, after all, time is only a construct we created to play in this 3D reality.
Wishing you all a great start into 2016. May all your thoughts and wishes happen!